Sharing Christmas

Making Christmas cookies is much more fun when you eat the flour too!

I see Mary and one of the Three Wisemen

Opening presents with Aunt Sandy at the Page Christmas




Are these Halloween costumes for next year? Cool bath towels! Thanks Aunt Sandy and Uncle Terry!

And not to be outdone, Landree gets into the act too!

The proverbial "kids table", Christmas Eve with the Kleins.

This bag ought to have LOTS of stuff in it since it's almost as big as me!

Wait! Carson still sees one more thing way down at the bottom of the bag!

Can you believe these two are twins? Cousins Merrick and Rowan.

These kids had more fun playing with the babys' toys than their own!

When I grow up I want to be a welder just like my brother, Channing!

Yeah, but Kali and Channing won't be the ONLY welders in the family!

Christmas morning with my two favorite guys ... Daddy and Monkey George!

It is so hard to believe that it has been 6 months already since Kali became part of our lives. I have started following some of the other Gladney Ethiopian blogs again and it's all coming back to me ... the joy of referral day; the excitement of traveling to Africa; the overwhelming anticipation waiting at the hotel for our daughter to be brought to us; the look of sheer terror and utter confusion on her face. Too many adjectives? How about the longing to be home once you have your child in your arms; the fear of not knowing what to do now that you have your child in your arms; the doubt and wondering if you've done the right thing; the dread of the long flight(s) home; the exhaustion once you are home; and then real life resumes. Except now there's an additional little person(s) in your life and now you have to learn about each other ... difficult, exciting, scary, rewarding, frustrating, and downright fun sometimes.

Being on the other side of the hill now, it's fun to look back and follow the blogs of the parents still climbing that hill ... and I mean that in the nicest of ways! We made it over the top and we're doin' great! That's not to say that it's all downhill from here ... we still have puberty, driving lessons, dating, and applying for college to get through!

I read an article in an adoption magazine some time ago that stuck with me. The author, the mom, seemed quite offended when people would notice her daughter of a different race and make comments, NICE comments, about her and completely ignore her other biological children. She wanted to scream back to these people, "what about these kids here ... chopped liver!?" I have to admit I've noticed that people pay much more attention to Kali than Carson and make comments about how cute she is ... but let's think about it for a minute. She does kind of stand out when we're all together. And she is beautiful, so I really can't blame them for saying so. If people notice this beautiful African flower in a lily white field, would I rather have them say something nice like "Oh how pretty she is!", or something nasty? No brainer! So, even though Carson too is a beautiful child, it doesn't bother me a bit when folks notice Kali and say something NICE about her!! As a matter of fact, in the 6 months that we've had Kali, we have not had one negative experience or comment from other people. Knock on wood ...

Not much of anything new to report on Kali. She is a normal little 3 year old girl ... she likes to wear dresses (especially the kind that swirl really big when she turns around in circles), she likes to mimic her brother, she changes her mind every other day about what she likes and dislikes, she likes to whine when she doesn't get her way, she wants to do EVERYTHING herself, and she wants to help you do everything too. Listening to her talk, nobody would ever believe that she didn't speak a word of English 6 short months ago ... she is a chatterbox deluxe! The most shocking thing that has happened ... she loves one of the dogs! Phoebe, our yellow lab, is her best buddy now. Every day before we leave for school, she leans down and gives Phoebe a hug and kiss. 6 months ago she was convinced that Phoebe was going to eat her! She's still afraid of every other dog she meets, from the biggest doofus dogs to the smallest puppies. One of these days she'll figure it all out and she'll probably grow up to be a veterinarian ... or a ballroom dancer so she can have all those cool swirly dresses!

It's a small world after all ...

Remember this picture? This is one that our Gladney caseworker, Mary, sent to us after visiting Addis and giving Kali our gift. The little girl on the right is Kali's best friend, Kuri. We were told that Kali was so quiet and shy and Kuri was the only one in the orphanage Kali would talk to. Those Gladney people ... I think God must have a direct telephone line straight to their doors. Kuri is being adopted by a family who lives only about 40 miles away from us!!! Check out the Walton's new blog to follow their journey http://onemorewalton.blogspot.com/

Merry Christmas to all!

Thanksgiving snow in North Texas!!

Kali and "Aunt" Cathy catching snowflakes

What a shocker! Sitting around the living room watching football after the turkey gorge, and someone yells, "It's snowing!" Kali got to experience snow for the first time and she loved it. No snowman yet ... it was a wet snow that didn't stick, but she and Carson were able to get a few little snowballs out of the accumulation on the cars. And Jordan thought he had to go to Wisconsin to see some snow for Thanksgiving!

This is Kali's new hair. I know, I know ... it doesn't look much different than before. We had about 1/2 of the length taken off, so no more Afro Puffs for a while. This short hair is so much easier to deal with. Just wet it down in the mornings, spray a little leave-in conditioner, pick out and go! Maybe that's why I keep mine short too ... add a blow dryer and take away the pick, though.

Every time we both look at Kali, we can't help but think of the difference between the little girl we brought home and the little girl we have now. Every day she adds more to her vocabulary and she is such a chatterbox ... fits right into my side of the family! She smiles and laughs all the time and those beautiful little eyes just sparkle. We have learned how to divert her almost-tantrums now ... distraction works wonders! All I have to do is get her talking about something else and she forgets all about what made her upset in the first place. It takes a lot of patience (and I will admit that this is something I run short of more often than I would like) and trial-and-error to find out what works. I hope we have hit on something now that will work for quite a long time. Of course, we still have the drama ... oh, the drama! One would think her leg was being cut off when she gets the slightest little booboo! And when she gets mad at us, she starts crying for anyone, and I mean ANYONE, who is not in the immediate area. It was her Papa, it was her sister Landree, and more recently it was her teacher, Alicia! The one that had us laughing the hardest was when she was crying for her little 3 year old friend from daycare, Lily!

But the best part of having Kali ... when she grabs my face and says "I love you, Mommy" just right out of the blue.

We are both completely in love with our daughter! Because of this, I can now say what I am about to say and be comfortable with it. I have always tried to be honest in this blog, so here goes.

I was very disappointed in myself when it was not love at first sight with Kali. I was even more disappointed when the love did not seem to come for some time. I didn't want to talk about it for a while ... I thought there was something wrong with me, or that maybe we had jumped into adoption too soon. I certainly didn't want to write about it in my blog ... what would people think of me? "What a witch, not loving that precious little girl!" Don't get me wrong ... I always wanted to take care of her and protect her - that maternal thing - but I just wasn't prepared for the lack of affection that I had for this child. I know we have all had the fantasies of seeing our children for the first time and having them immediatey love us and us love them. Even though I knew this was just a fantasy, I couldn't help but wonder if it still couldn't happen that way ... but it didn't. Maybe it was having biological children of my own already, whom I absolutely adore, and then adopting; maybe it was adopting a toddler rather than an infant; or maybe it was neither of these and it was just me.

But then I did start talking about it to friends and family, and I found out that maybe I wasn't so weird after all. Maybe it was more normal than I thought not to have that instant love with this new little person in my life. And then it happened. I can't say exactly when, but sometime in the past 6 months, I fell in love with my daughter! I am pretty sure it happened sooner for Rick, and I must say that I am a little envious of that. Now I find myself doing the same things to her that I do to Carson ... stroking her hair or cheek, rubbing her back when she is sitting next to me, kissing her for no reason at all. When I tell her that I love her, it comes straight from my heart and I know that I mean every breath of those 3 words! So, for those of you who may be experiencing this same situation, you're not weird. Just be patient ... it happens. For those of you who bonded instantly and felt that love from the moment you first laid eyes on your sweet children, be thankful for that blessing!

So on this first Thanksgiving with our new daughter and our newly formed family of seven, I am most thankful for the mysterious and wonderful way that love works its miracles in our hearts!

Happy Thanksgiving from the Page Family!

I hear they all do it ...

What is it with kids and scissors and their hair? I managed to raise one who never cut his own hair ... that is, not until he was 18 and decided to use the dog clippers to shave his head ... does that count? I remember when my 18 year old neice was small and decided she didn't want bangs anymore ... clip ... that's one way to get rid of them! So I'm warning all of you parents of young children ... hide ALL the scissors, even the dull ones that you think couldn't cut water ... they probably still work on hair!

In addition to cutting his own hair ... big chunk, right in the middle above his forehead (if you look closely at the picture, you can kind of see the semi-bald spot) ... Carson decided it would be fun to cut Kali's hair too. Let's put it this way ... she no longer has a widow's peak! I had to cut Carson's hair extra short to try to blend his work into the rest (I still think Rick secretly put Carson up to this just so I would be forced to give him the shaved head 1950's farmboy look he so wants our son to have!), but there was no way I was going to attempt to tackle those curls of Kali's. So today she got her first haircut ... well, her first haircut with us. After 11 months of growing hair (her head was shaved sometime around January of this year at the orphanage) and 5 months of me longing for it to grow faster so we could start braiding it, we're back to tight little curls. I have to admit, though, it looks really cute short. She looks so chic! No picture yet ... maybe tomorrow.

And we no longer own a pair of scissors ... maybe I should hide the weedeater and hedge clippers in the garage too ...

Happy Halloween!!

The Queen and King of Hearts!

Happy Autumn!!

From Ethiopian Princess ...

... to American Diva!

After we had Carson, I would jokingly think that the hospital switched babies on me. After all, how in the world did I, with brown eyes and brown hair, get a tow head with blue eyes?? Now it's deja vu ... I don't think we have an Ethiopian little girl! With her almond shaped eyes and big chubby cheeks, Kali doesn't seem to possess the traditional Ethiopian features. But here's the clincher ... she is so warm natured, she refuses to sleep under her covers. She will kick them off every single time you try to cover her up. And when she gets out of bed, her little arms and legs will be like ice from the air conditioning, but she swears she isn't the least bit cold. For those of you who have already been to Ethiopia, you get this ... all those people wandering around in mid 70 degree weather wearing coats and scarves and bundling up! For those of you yet to travel to Ethiopia, you'll get it once you see all those babies bundled up like little Eskimo babies.

Poor Carson. One can tell he is definitely the product of older parents. He is playing T-ball with other 3 and 4 year olds through the Boys & Girls Club. First, it is clear that these kids are waaaay too young to be playing any kind of organized sports. It's not competitive in the least ... there are no outs, no score keeping, and every kids gets to bat twice. But when some of the 3 year olds are crying and refusing to go out on the field, and others are just leaving the field to go play on the nearby swingset, yes ... they are too young. This is all for the parents, not for the kids. As for Carson having older parents ... he is the only one on the team without his own bat bag, baseball bat, and batting helmet. We bought him a glove and that's all. But I certainly can't throw stones ... I bought all that stuff for Jordan when he first started playing ball too. Just a little bit older and wiser now ...

HAPPY AUTUMN!

Pink ribbons everywhere!

I can't believe it ... this disease has hit close to home now. My cousin's wife, Kim Klein, was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this year. Kim and Randy have 3 children and Kim has been going to law school to finish her education. Even though they have insurance, the out of pocket expenses are still staggering. Kim started a blog to chronicle her journey through breast cancer, and now her blog has been chosen as one of 20 finalists for a $10,000 scholarship!

Please take a look at Kim's blog (http://blawgcoop.com/lawmom/) and help her win this honor and the money to continue with law school. And please add Kim and her family to your prayer list. With all the love we have in this Ethiopian adoption community, I am sure there is room left for one Law Mom who needs our support and encouragement!

What a week!

Attorney Susan Paquet, Carson & Daddy, Judge Catterton, Kali & Mommy

Kali is officially ours now according to the U.S. government! There is only one more step to this whole process and that is to apply for U.S. citizenship for her. But you'll never be able to convince Kali that she is not an American already ... Wednesday evening, after she took her baby doll to the doctor and the dentist (both have offices in our front yard under the mesquite tree apparently), she took her doll stroller, turned and waved to me and said, "Bye, Mommy. I go to Wa-Mart."

For those of you in the DFW area, I do recommend using Susan Paquet as your adoption attorney. She is the one recommended by Gladney. She is very efficient and just gets it done. It did feel a little strange, though, meeting our attorney for the first time 30 minutes before going into the courtroom. Other than the courtroom appearance, which took all of 30 minutes for the 5 families adopting that morning, everything was handled over the phone and through the mail. And the total out-of-pocket was much less than we expected too. It was totally painless!

Carson has his first t-ball game on Saturday morning. He is only 4 so it isn't Little League. This is through the Boys & Girls Club. He had his one and only practice Thursday night and it was hilarious! At this age, they are not taught positions yet. They're just all stuck out in the outfield and it is a free-for-all when that ball is hit! Whoever gets the ball first gets to throw it in ... and probably got a knee in the eye too when going after the ball with all 8 other boys! It is a sight to see and I can't wait to see how a real game goes. Go Team Spiderman!!

To my family and friends, you may want to sit down for this one. My BIG baby boy, Jordan, has officially joined the NAVY!!!

We sure didn't see this one coming when he announced his intentions to us a month ago. But we are very proud of him and his decision to follow this path. He signed with the Navy on Thursday of this week and will be going to CTN school (Cryptologic Technician Networking). He is very "stoked" about this and cannot wait to begin this phase of his life. I now proudly display a "Proud Parent of a SAILOR" sticker on the back window of my car. Jordan, you rock!!!

Attitude Galore!!

I agree with Rachel, it is getting harder to blog. Not only are there fewer hours in the day than there ever used to be (yes, I promise!), but it's just hard to blog about normal every day life.

But there is still one thing I can talk about ... ATTITUDE! I thought raising boys was tough, but I had no idea what tough was until I had a girl. And it doesn't matter what country a girl was born in, a girl is a girl is a girl the whole world over and they all come with attitude galore! It's in the "Born a Girl for Dummies" handbook, Chapter 1, titled "Diva-licious"!

I recently ran into a friend who also raised only boys. She is now raising her 3 year old granddaughter. We found out that we now have a lot in common ... a little princess who insists upon being queen of the house! Kali is the most stubborn little creature that I have ever run across in my life. She can be sweet and loving one moment, and totally defiant in the next. I hate to put a stain on the fairer sex of the world, especially since I am one of them, but I firmly believe that the attitude has everything to do with those double X chromosomes and the hormones going bonkers in her little body (yes, I am convinced now that the hormones appear waaaayyy earlier than the teen years in girls!) and nothing to do with adoption transition. You know the wet noodle thing that all kids do when they get upset? That's Kali every time you want her to do something that she does not want to do. She gives you that glare that says "Make me!" and when you try to pick her up, you get wet noodle and major attitude. And the biggest cut-down she can think of when she is mad at you is "You're not my friend!"

Ok, so we want our girls to have some attitude and be able to handle themselves, right? I much prefer that she wait until she's grown and take that attitude out on someone else!

Surprisingly, she has not a touch of grace. If it can fall out of her mouth, it will. If it can spill and make a mess, it will. And if more can get on her clothes than in her mouth, it will. But I suppose we'll have to let her slide on this for a while ... after all, she was used to eating with her fingers and is only now getting the hang of using utensils. And to be honest, it is kind of funny. She will drop the candy out of her mouth at least 3 times before finishing it, and that's just from opening her mouth to talk!

On the bright side, her English is soooo good. She is quite the chatter box. We still have a bit of trouble understanding her here and there, but all we have to do is ask Carson what she said ... you know that they all speak the same language when they are under 5 years old anyway. And she still has that smile that lights up the whole room and a giggle that makes us all want to break into fits of laughter.

We will be visiting the Tarrant County Family Court on Wednesday of this week to make Kali an official American! She will no longer be Kalidan Rickey Page, she will become Kalkidan Faye-Sophia Page. She will have a birth date of 08/22/04 instead of 08/22/05. But the best part is that she will be ours according to the US Government as well as the Ethiopian Government! Add one more to the inheritance ... like there will be any!

It may take time, but she will learn ... I am the queen of the house and I will win all power struggles! It took her daddy a while to learn that one too!

More breakthroughs ...

The Tatoo Twins

Kali is definitely going to be a surgeon when she grows up ... she insists upon washing her hands all the way up to the elbow!

Breakthrough #1:

Kali always wanted to have exactly what Carson had, whether it was something to eat, a toy, anything. We know that most of this came from not knowing the language, so she would just say the same thing Carson would say. The other part of this mix, though, was thinking that she was missing out on something great if she didn't get exactly what her brother did. In the past few weeks, Kali actually asked for something different for breakfast than what Carson was having! I know this sounds trivial, but we really thought that this was a good milestone! Not only does she understand the language better and is figuring out what she likes and dislikes, she is starting to separate herself from Carson!

Breakthrough #2:

And another milestone in the language department ... as part of our bedtime routine, I read the kids two books every night right before bedtime. Carson had been picking out the books because Kali wouldn't sit down to listen anyway. She didn't understand what I was saying, so why should she sit and listen? She was allowed to play in the room while I read, but she couldn't leave the room. Now Carson picks out one book and Kali picks out one book ... and she actually sits and listens to the book! She likes to turn the pages for the most part, but while waiting to turn the page, she listens to the story and will even make comments when she hears something she recognizes!

Little things that mean so much to us as parents!

Teenager Update

Remember them? Oh how I wish I had good news to report. Sadly, our joy in having Kali as part of our lives is often overshadowed by the heartbreak that these children still do not have a forever family. We received letters today from Genet and Yesalemush. This is the second set of letters that we have received from them since their return to Ethiopia in mid July. These new letters are even more heartwrenching than the first set. The girls are so sweet and mention everyone by name, even remembering that Kali was going to have a birthday and wishing her a Happy Birthday. But their sadness at not having a family is so painful to read. Yesalemush writes, "Please try and be fast the paper and try to be fast to pick me out from Ethiopia to USA."

We thought the children knew that we were not adopting them, that we were truly just a host family for them for their stay here in Texas. But then, at the end of their time here, we found out that ALL the children were told that their "families" were only host families, even those whose families were already committed to adopting them. And then they also saw that most of the kids from last year's camp were indeed adopted. So what are they supposed to think? Of course they think that we are adopting them! How are we now supposed to tell them that we are not in a position to adopt them?

Even if there is a family out there who is meant to have these children, we know that the process takes time. But we can't help but feel that we've done nothing but give them false hope by bringing them here in the first place.

Weekend in Austin

Kali and Piper

Home from our weekend in Austin! We all had a great time at my company picnic. Kali and Carson both had so much fun playing in the water, both the pool and the lake. On our way home this afternoon, we met up with Rachel Elliott and her 3 sweetie pies. It was so good to see Piper again (we saw her in Addis when we visited the orphanage). Piper and Kali were in the same orphanage, but you know how kids are ... they don't remember much from last week let alone months ago. There didn't seem to be any recognition from either of them, but it was still nice for them to see each other. Even if they don't remember as time goes on, at least we can hope to keep them in touch as one link to their heritage.

Kali, Piper, Brodan, Camden & Carson with their Happy Meal toys

As you can see from the picture, the boys got along wonderfully! Happy Birthday, Brodan! And an early Happy Birthday to you too, Little Miss Piper Chaltu!!

Thoughts

I've been thinking a lot about Kali's biological mother lately. We did not meet her when we went to Ethiopia to bring Kali home, and I am having regrets now. I just cannot imagine being in a position where I have to make such a decision, the decision to give up my child for adoption. I know she must think of Kali every day and wonder what has become of her. We know that she knows Kali has been adopted by Americans. We also know that she is allowed to go to the ministry office to view the post-placement reports when they come in. But I wonder if that is enough.

I was going through all of my referral emails the other day. I had kept everything in my inbox with the intent of printing everything one day. I came upon a referral picture of Kali that I had forgotten about. What a sight! She looks so pitiful and sad in this photo ... I am sure it was taken shortly after being relinquished by her mother, as the pain is so evident in her little face. And then I look at all the photos taken of her lately, like the one above. This is the Kali I want her mother to see ... the Kali who is now so happy. I want her mom to have peace with her decision. I wonder if a letter and pictures from us will help to bring her that peace, or if it will bring her more sadness. It is so hard for me to imagine being in her position, but if I were, I know that I would want to know about my child. And I am sure that Belay will be willing to deliver it for us too.

3 month report out of the way!

Circus pics

Yesterday was the day for our 3 month post placement visit. Several people asked us if we were worried they would take Kali away from us ... NOT! All you have to do is watch this little girl run around here completely at ease with everything, smiling, laughing, dancing and you have your answer. The visit was only about 45 minutes long and she asked us the same kinds of questions the pediatrician asks when you take your kids in for their annual check-up ... is she eating ok, sleeping ok, how is her health, etc, etc, etc. Pretty easy-breezy. And if there was any worry at all, it all disappeared the minute Rick walked through the door. He got home about 10 minutes after the social worker arrived. Kali heard the front door open and looked at me asking, "Daddy?" I said yes, she hopped off the couch and ran to Rick screaming "Daddy!" with arms open wide. I promise you this was not staged!!!! She loves her daddy!

Sure can't wait for this upcoming 3 day weekend! I used up all of my sick/vacation time with the Ethiopia trip and after, and boy can I use an extra day off! And then the next weekend is my company's annual picnic in Austin. I am really excited this year, not only to show off my adorable kids to all of my friends from the other offices, but also because we will have the chance to meet up with the Elliott family and Piper over that weekend. Piper and Kali were in the same orphanage together, although Piper is a bit over a year younger than Kali. When we brought Kali home from Ethiopia and showed her pictures of Piper on the Elliott's blog, she knew her, saying, "Chaltu!" She doesn't remember her now when she sees her pictures, so maybe seeing her in person will jog her memory. I am just glad that we live close enough (about 2-1/2 hours) that the girls can get to know each other over the years, even if they can only get together a few times a year. It will be good for them to have that connection to each other as they get older.

And gotta make a few shout-outs ...

Landree began her teaching career this week as the new 6th grade math teacher here in Granbury! Woo hoo! She is exhausted right now, but she'll get used to it all and will be a great teacher!

Jordan is auditioning for a few upcoming musicals at Casa Manana next week. This will be his first "real" audition and all we can say is "break a leg!" If he gets anything at all, this will be the beginning of Equity acting.

Channing is still in India (he's been there since the beginning of June) and apparently loves it ... he just requested to stay on for another couple of months to help them finish the current job. Maybe he met a girl??? Carson misses him and can't wait for him to come home soon!

Happy Birthday!

Kalkidan Faye-Sophia Page is 3 years old today!!!

I think I like all this attention! Birthdays are cool!

We finally have a normal little girl! No longer do we have a scared, confused child going through the pains of adoption transition ... who are you people? why should I have to listen to you? what am I doing here? you're not the boss of me! It's all gone! Kali has always been a sweet girl, full of hugs and kisses, but that change we've noticed over the past few weeks ... it's the acceptance of all of us as her family. Oh don't get me wrong ... she still wants everything to be hers and to have it all her way, but the defiance that came with it for the past few months is gone. I don't think I've seen the one shoulder "go jump off a bridge" shrug in several weeks. She knows we love her and we're pretty sure she loves us back ... at least she tells us that every night at bedtime!

And her hair is finally getting longer .....

My first attempt at Afro Puffs! I am sure there are African American women out there shaking their heads thinking, "what have you done to that poor child's head?", but Kali and I liked it! She couldn't stop staring at herself in the mirror and smiling!

The New Kali and The New Bedroom

It's been a few weeks since my last update. Things have been busy around here. Last weekend, Kali attended her first birthday party. She and Carson had a great time (Happy Birthday, Aubrey!). We were a little worried about how she would act when it was present opening time ... she still thinks that everything is hers. She was very good, just sitting and watching the gift unwrapping ceremony without even as much as a pouty lip ... until Aubrey opened the gift that we brought. I hid the gift from both kids until the day of the party, but then I had to take it out to wrap it ... she saw it! Naturally, she thought it was hers. When this one was unwrapped, she jumped up and wanted to play with it. Aubrey's mom was kind enough to let the kids look at it and play with it a little, but then Kali seemed to want to take possession of it and we had to take her away from the toy. Surprisingly, there was a small amount of crying and then it was over! Wow! What a relief!





We decided to move both kids out of the cramped little 10 x 10 bedroom that they were sharing. Jordan had been in the bigger 12 x 17 bedroom, but since he is moving to Austin now (and has been in WI with his grandparents all summer anyway), it was time to give the 2 kids the bigger room and turn the smaller room into the guest/Jordan-when-he's-home-from-school room. I am a BIG fan of color on the walls. Remember that commercial (probably for Home Depot paint or something) where the husband and wife are standing in a white room and the wife looks around and asks, "What do these walls say to you?" and the husband replies "They say clean and fresh and white"? Then she comes back with something like, "They are saying that someone doesn't have an imagination!" I love that commercial! That is how I feel. I know that when we build our new house in a few years, I will have to paint the walls because we won't be able to afford a painter ... they like to come in with a big bucket of one color and spray the whole house the same color. I like every room to be different! Anyway, I digress ... I allowed Carson to choose the colors for the new room. Kali doesn't care ... she's just going to repeat whatever Carson says anyway. He chose pink and red ... yes, my sweet little 4 year old BOY chose pink (his favorite color right now) and red (his mommy's favorite color). I did everything I could to try to sway him to colors a little more genderly (is that a word?) neutral. He would not be swayed. So I bought pink and red ... at least I got to pick out the shades of these colors! I pondered on the colors for a while trying to determine what I was going to do with these colors. Their old room was green and blue stripes, yes painted. But I didn't want to go with stripes again ... been there done that! Then I saw a photo and it all snapped together! I added purple (thanks Mom!) to tie the two colors together and voila! New kids room!!



I am so proud of this room. It works for both a boy and a girl! Carson is really into "centers" because that is what the different play areas are called at daycare. Now their bedroom has a "play center" and a "reading center". And taking the bunkbeds apart was THE thing to do ... Kali has slept through the entire night from the first night in their new room. Maybe she doesn't feel so confined anymore ... she was sleeping on the lower bunk. And Carson loves hanging out in his "reading center" just looking at book after book. And then I had a great time picking out the new color and painting their old bedroom to make it a guest room. Rick told me, "You really didn't want to move them in here ... you just wanted an excuse to paint again!"

We have noticed a subtle change in Kali over the past few weeks. Things have gotten noticeably easier with her. Her defiance seems to be going away finally. Maybe she has finally accepted that we are her new parents and we are in charge?? Maybe she has finally decided that she likes this new family? Who knows, but she is definitely different. She still has her moments, but then so does Carson ... and he has a whole lot more moments than he ever had before now that he has some competition in the house! It's a good thing that the first followup home study is at 3 months and not 3 weeks ... I'm afraid they would have seen Kali sitting in time-out quite a bit! I guess they know what they are doing, waiting 3 months for things to settle. Time-out is quickly becoming what it should be ... the occasional discipline method, not the every 20 minute discipline method. Although, we're beginning to think that maybe she misses time-out. There are times when Kali just won't give up. When she gets mad and starts to pout, she usually wants to make sure you know that she's upset ... she'll kind of push something with a little "take that" grunt, or swat at something ... any little action to show us that she's ticked off. We try to give her a break and just tell her not to do that or show her something to steer her in a different direction. Distraction usually works well! But she just can't let it go. She just keeps pushing and pushing until she's done something that really warrants the time-out. I know that they say "negative attention is better then no attention at all", but this little girl receives LOTS of attention from both of us and her brother, and most of it is good. So why does she push you into forcing the time-out?

Oh well ... I guess once a diva, always a diva! I said it last night ... she is 100% sweetheart 99% of the time! She does two things now that just crack us up ... when she does something by herself, she is so proud of herself, says "I did it!" and gives you the open palm saying "High five!". And the other thing ... her new name is "Me too!" or "I do it myself!" These are her two new favorite sayings!!

Breakthrough!!

Today when Kali woke up from her nap, she was playing with her baby and her puppy (it's really a stuffed cow, but she calls it puppy). After a bit, I noticed her in the time-out corner and she looked up at me and said, "Shhh ... baby time-out." I asked her what baby did to get into time-out and she took the baby's bottle and threw it saying, "Baby throw" and then she went to pick it up. A few minutes later it was puppy's turn to go to time-out. I asked again and this time was told, "Puppy hit" and then she made a hitting motion. She gets it!!!! She actually gets it!!!

The Faces of Kali

The pouty look, all the rage this season!

It must seem to those reading that I zoom in on Kali's "dark side" more than I should. I know it sometimes seems that way to me too. But as I was painting this morning (redecorating the bigger bedroom to move both kids into), it suddenly hit me so clearly!

Yes, I read all the books about adoption, specifically adoption of toddlers. But books are just not the same as living it. I thought I was absorbing what I read, but apparently not. I know I've been too impatient with Kali at times, expecting her to act just like her brother does (or did when he was her age), but I keep forgetting one HUGE fact ... she has not been with us from birth. I know that sounds simplistic, but it so easy to forget that the kids who have been with you from the time they were born or shortly thereafter have had several years of YOUR teaching and YOUR way of doing things. Kali has been with us for 6 weeks ... ONLY 6 weeks. It is utterly ridiculous of us to expect her to behave any other way than how she does ... and yet, it is so easy to forget all of that.


I was speaking to someone I met a few weeks ago who has a 7 year old daughter. This woman's daughter was also adopted as a toddler. As this woman and I were talking, I was describing these "mad" things that Kali does ... the shooting-a-death-ray-through-your-face stare, the little one shoulder shrug, the I-hate-you-and-I'm-gonna-let-the-whole-neighborhood-know scream (and I don't mean crying, I mean SCREAM) ... this woman looked at me and told me that I had just described her daughter shortly after she had adopted her. Her daughter is a blonde haired, blue eyed little girl adopted domestically. Those traits that I thought were uniquely part of Kali's heritage, turns out they are just part of adoption.

It takes me a while, folks. This conversation was probably three weeks ago. So anyway, my epiphone while I was painting ... all of these "mad" traits are saying "Hey, I've already been dumped by one big person. I don't give a flying flip who you say you are ... you're gonna have to earn my love and respect and trust. Now let's see what you're gonna do with this!" Yes, I read this in one of those many books, but somehow it escaped me once we had Kali as part of our family.

The contented look, coming to a home near you soon!

We couldn't be happier or more thankful in our decision to adopt this beautiful little girl. She makes us laugh and smile all of the time. The other day, we had a little argument over a bean bag lizard. Kali kept calling it a "flot". I told her it was a lizard several times, even repeating it slowly so she could repeat me. Every time I said "liz -zard" slowly, she would look at me and just as slowly say "flo-ot". Who is the teacher here?! It hit me several hours later ... she was calling it a FROG! Told you it takes me a while! The "animal" sound she makes when you ask her what a certain animal says is hilarious ... its "waargh" (think loud growl!). Problem is, she thinks EVERY animal makes this sound other than a dog, a cat, and a flot .. oops, frog. She knows their sounds, but even a bunny goes "waargh" according to Kali. Every time she washes her hands, she holds up her soapy hands like paws with claws and yells "waargh" at you like a bear. These are the kinds of things that keep us in stitches with this kiddo.

Her giggle is the best sound in the world. There is something about it that just makes you want to laugh too. She is such a snuggle bug too ... when she wakes up, she wants you to hold her and she throws both arms around your neck, puts her head on your shoulder, and is perfectly content for several minutes. She mimics everything her brother does, even down to the goofy faces he likes to make. Right now, he loves it. I'm sure that some day, it will annoy the heck out of him and he'll be begging me to make her stop.

Kali can sing her ABC's all the way through and loves for you to sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" with her. Her favorite thing to say now is "Mommy, what you doin'?" And Carson is really Tahson!

So, the point is this ... even though Kali ends up in time-out at least 3-4 times a day (not what we were used to with Carson), that is only about 15-20 minutes out of the whole day. These minutes can be intense, but the rest of the day of sweetness and sunshine make up for all of it!!! The giggle I am hearing right now as she plays with her daddy ... it makes me smile and wish that everyone else could hear it too!