Wednesday, August 29, 2007

3 month report out of the way!


Circus pics


Yesterday was the day for our 3 month post placement visit. Several people asked us if we were worried they would take Kali away from us ... NOT! All you have to do is watch this little girl run around here completely at ease with everything, smiling, laughing, dancing and you have your answer. The visit was only about 45 minutes long and she asked us the same kinds of questions the pediatrician asks when you take your kids in for their annual check-up ... is she eating ok, sleeping ok, how is her health, etc, etc, etc. Pretty easy-breezy. And if there was any worry at all, it all disappeared the minute Rick walked through the door. He got home about 10 minutes after the social worker arrived. Kali heard the front door open and looked at me asking, "Daddy?" I said yes, she hopped off the couch and ran to Rick screaming "Daddy!" with arms open wide. I promise you this was not staged!!!! She loves her daddy!

Sure can't wait for this upcoming 3 day weekend! I used up all of my sick/vacation time with the Ethiopia trip and after, and boy can I use an extra day off! And then the next weekend is my company's annual picnic in Austin. I am really excited this year, not only to show off my adorable kids to all of my friends from the other offices, but also because we will have the chance to meet up with the Elliott family and Piper over that weekend. Piper and Kali were in the same orphanage together, although Piper is a bit over a year younger than Kali. When we brought Kali home from Ethiopia and showed her pictures of Piper on the Elliott's blog, she knew her, saying, "Chaltu!" She doesn't remember her now when she sees her pictures, so maybe seeing her in person will jog her memory. I am just glad that we live close enough (about 2-1/2 hours) that the girls can get to know each other over the years, even if they can only get together a few times a year. It will be good for them to have that connection to each other as they get older.

And gotta make a few shout-outs ...
Landree began her teaching career this week as the new 6th grade math teacher here in Granbury! Woo hoo! She is exhausted right now, but she'll get used to it all and will be a great teacher!
Jordan is auditioning for a few upcoming musicals at Casa Manana next week. This will be his first "real" audition and all we can say is "break a leg!" If he gets anything at all, this will be the beginning of Equity acting.
Channing is still in India (he's been there since the beginning of June) and apparently loves it ... he just requested to stay on for another couple of months to help them finish the current job. Maybe he met a girl??? Carson misses him and can't wait for him to come home soon!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Happy Birthday!

Kalkidan Faye-Sophia Page is 3 years old today!!!


I think I like all this attention! Birthdays are cool!

We finally have a normal little girl! No longer do we have a scared, confused child going through the pains of adoption transition ... who are you people? why should I have to listen to you? what am I doing here? you're not the boss of me! It's all gone! Kali has always been a sweet girl, full of hugs and kisses, but that change we've noticed over the past few weeks ... it's the acceptance of all of us as her family. Oh don't get me wrong ... she still wants everything to be hers and to have it all her way, but the defiance that came with it for the past few months is gone. I don't think I've seen the one shoulder "go jump off a bridge" shrug in several weeks. She knows we love her and we're pretty sure she loves us back ... at least she tells us that every night at bedtime!


And her hair is finally getting longer .....


My first attempt at Afro Puffs! I am sure there are African American women out there shaking their heads thinking, "what have you done to that poor child's head?", but Kali and I liked it! She couldn't stop staring at herself in the mirror and smiling!

Friday, August 17, 2007

The New Kali and The New Bedroom

It's been a few weeks since my last update. Things have been busy around here. Last weekend, Kali attended her first birthday party. She and Carson had a great time (Happy Birthday, Aubrey!). We were a little worried about how she would act when it was present opening time ... she still thinks that everything is hers. She was very good, just sitting and watching the gift unwrapping ceremony without even as much as a pouty lip ... until Aubrey opened the gift that we brought. I hid the gift from both kids until the day of the party, but then I had to take it out to wrap it ... she saw it! Naturally, she thought it was hers. When this one was unwrapped, she jumped up and wanted to play with it. Aubrey's mom was kind enough to let the kids look at it and play with it a little, but then Kali seemed to want to take possession of it and we had to take her away from the toy. Surprisingly, there was a small amount of crying and then it was over! Wow! What a relief!





We decided to move both kids out of the cramped little 10 x 10 bedroom that they were sharing. Jordan had been in the bigger 12 x 17 bedroom, but since he is moving to Austin now (and has been in WI with his grandparents all summer anyway), it was time to give the 2 kids the bigger room and turn the smaller room into the guest/Jordan-when-he's-home-from-school room. I am a BIG fan of color on the walls. Remember that commercial (probably for Home Depot paint or something) where the husband and wife are standing in a white room and the wife looks around and asks, "What do these walls say to you?" and the husband replies "They say clean and fresh and white"? Then she comes back with something like, "They are saying that someone doesn't have an imagination!" I love that commercial! That is how I feel. I know that when we build our new house in a few years, I will have to paint the walls because we won't be able to afford a painter ... they like to come in with a big bucket of one color and spray the whole house the same color. I like every room to be different! Anyway, I digress ... I allowed Carson to choose the colors for the new room. Kali doesn't care ... she's just going to repeat whatever Carson says anyway. He chose pink and red ... yes, my sweet little 4 year old BOY chose pink (his favorite color right now) and red (his mommy's favorite color). I did everything I could to try to sway him to colors a little more genderly (is that a word?) neutral. He would not be swayed. So I bought pink and red ... at least I got to pick out the shades of these colors! I pondered on the colors for a while trying to determine what I was going to do with these colors. Their old room was green and blue stripes, yes painted. But I didn't want to go with stripes again ... been there done that! Then I saw a photo and it all snapped together! I added purple (thanks Mom!) to tie the two colors together and voila! New kids room!!



I am so proud of this room. It works for both a boy and a girl! Carson is really into "centers" because that is what the different play areas are called at daycare. Now their bedroom has a "play center" and a "reading center". And taking the bunkbeds apart was THE thing to do ... Kali has slept through the entire night from the first night in their new room. Maybe she doesn't feel so confined anymore ... she was sleeping on the lower bunk. And Carson loves hanging out in his "reading center" just looking at book after book. And then I had a great time picking out the new color and painting their old bedroom to make it a guest room. Rick told me, "You really didn't want to move them in here ... you just wanted an excuse to paint again!"

We have noticed a subtle change in Kali over the past few weeks. Things have gotten noticeably easier with her. Her defiance seems to be going away finally. Maybe she has finally accepted that we are her new parents and we are in charge?? Maybe she has finally decided that she likes this new family? Who knows, but she is definitely different. She still has her moments, but then so does Carson ... and he has a whole lot more moments than he ever had before now that he has some competition in the house! It's a good thing that the first followup home study is at 3 months and not 3 weeks ... I'm afraid they would have seen Kali sitting in time-out quite a bit! I guess they know what they are doing, waiting 3 months for things to settle. Time-out is quickly becoming what it should be ... the occasional discipline method, not the every 20 minute discipline method. Although, we're beginning to think that maybe she misses time-out. There are times when Kali just won't give up. When she gets mad and starts to pout, she usually wants to make sure you know that she's upset ... she'll kind of push something with a little "take that" grunt, or swat at something ... any little action to show us that she's ticked off. We try to give her a break and just tell her not to do that or show her something to steer her in a different direction. Distraction usually works well! But she just can't let it go. She just keeps pushing and pushing until she's done something that really warrants the time-out. I know that they say "negative attention is better then no attention at all", but this little girl receives LOTS of attention from both of us and her brother, and most of it is good. So why does she push you into forcing the time-out?

Oh well ... I guess once a diva, always a diva! I said it last night ... she is 100% sweetheart 99% of the time! She does two things now that just crack us up ... when she does something by herself, she is so proud of herself, says "I did it!" and gives you the open palm saying "High five!". And the other thing ... her new name is "Me too!" or "I do it myself!" These are her two new favorite sayings!!

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Breakthrough!!

Today when Kali woke up from her nap, she was playing with her baby and her puppy (it's really a stuffed cow, but she calls it puppy). After a bit, I noticed her in the time-out corner and she looked up at me and said, "Shhh ... baby time-out." I asked her what baby did to get into time-out and she took the baby's bottle and threw it saying, "Baby throw" and then she went to pick it up. A few minutes later it was puppy's turn to go to time-out. I asked again and this time was told, "Puppy hit" and then she made a hitting motion. She gets it!!!! She actually gets it!!!

Saturday, August 4, 2007

The Faces of Kali


The pouty look, all the rage this season!


It must seem to those reading that I zoom in on Kali's "dark side" more than I should. I know it sometimes seems that way to me too. But as I was painting this morning (redecorating the bigger bedroom to move both kids into), it suddenly hit me so clearly!

Yes, I read all the books about adoption, specifically adoption of toddlers. But books are just not the same as living it. I thought I was absorbing what I read, but apparently not. I know I've been too impatient with Kali at times, expecting her to act just like her brother does (or did when he was her age), but I keep forgetting one HUGE fact ... she has not been with us from birth. I know that sounds simplistic, but it so easy to forget that the kids who have been with you from the time they were born or shortly thereafter have had several years of YOUR teaching and YOUR way of doing things. Kali has been with us for 6 weeks ... ONLY 6 weeks. It is utterly ridiculous of us to expect her to behave any other way than how she does ... and yet, it is so easy to forget all of that.


I was speaking to someone I met a few weeks ago who has a 7 year old daughter. This woman's daughter was also adopted as a toddler. As this woman and I were talking, I was describing these "mad" things that Kali does ... the shooting-a-death-ray-through-your-face stare, the little one shoulder shrug, the I-hate-you-and-I'm-gonna-let-the-whole-neighborhood-know scream (and I don't mean crying, I mean SCREAM) ... this woman looked at me and told me that I had just described her daughter shortly after she had adopted her. Her daughter is a blonde haired, blue eyed little girl adopted domestically. Those traits that I thought were uniquely part of Kali's heritage, turns out they are just part of adoption.

It takes me a while, folks. This conversation was probably three weeks ago. So anyway, my epiphone while I was painting ... all of these "mad" traits are saying "Hey, I've already been dumped by one big person. I don't give a flying flip who you say you are ... you're gonna have to earn my love and respect and trust. Now let's see what you're gonna do with this!" Yes, I read this in one of those many books, but somehow it escaped me once we had Kali as part of our family.


The contented look, coming to a home near you soon!


We couldn't be happier or more thankful in our decision to adopt this beautiful little girl. She makes us laugh and smile all of the time. The other day, we had a little argument over a bean bag lizard. Kali kept calling it a "flot". I told her it was a lizard several times, even repeating it slowly so she could repeat me. Every time I said "liz -zard" slowly, she would look at me and just as slowly say "flo-ot". Who is the teacher here?! It hit me several hours later ... she was calling it a FROG! Told you it takes me a while! The "animal" sound she makes when you ask her what a certain animal says is hilarious ... its "waargh" (think loud growl!). Problem is, she thinks EVERY animal makes this sound other than a dog, a cat, and a flot .. oops, frog. She knows their sounds, but even a bunny goes "waargh" according to Kali. Every time she washes her hands, she holds up her soapy hands like paws with claws and yells "waargh" at you like a bear. These are the kinds of things that keep us in stitches with this kiddo.

Her giggle is the best sound in the world. There is something about it that just makes you want to laugh too. She is such a snuggle bug too ... when she wakes up, she wants you to hold her and she throws both arms around your neck, puts her head on your shoulder, and is perfectly content for several minutes. She mimics everything her brother does, even down to the goofy faces he likes to make. Right now, he loves it. I'm sure that some day, it will annoy the heck out of him and he'll be begging me to make her stop.

Kali can sing her ABC's all the way through and loves for you to sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" with her. Her favorite thing to say now is "Mommy, what you doin'?" And Carson is really Tahson!

So, the point is this ... even though Kali ends up in time-out at least 3-4 times a day (not what we were used to with Carson), that is only about 15-20 minutes out of the whole day. These minutes can be intense, but the rest of the day of sweetness and sunshine make up for all of it!!! The giggle I am hearing right now as she plays with her daddy ... it makes me smile and wish that everyone else could hear it too!

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Not much to report









I was asked to post more pictures so here they are. Kali and Carson played in the sprinkler yesterday, the poor man's swimming pool. Kali was a little hesitant to run through at first, but after watching her brother run through it quite a few times, she was not about to be second in Sprinkler Playing!

I am not sure we can really call Kali's time with us a "transition" anymore. She is part of our family and has blended in without any real problems. She came to us potty trained (though we do put a pull-up on her at night); she eats just about anything you put in front of her; she is sweet and loving and compassionate. What more could we ask for??

There is the continuing problem of the tantrums, which come and go. We thought the spitting was over, but she still spits at us when she gets REALLY mad ... and that REALLY mad usually comes with not getting what she wants. I think she has finally learned what the time-outs are for because she will turn and run from us now when she knows that she's done something to get in trouble, although it hasn't deterred her from the swatting, hitting, spitting, etc. Everything with time, right?

One funny thing ... she LOVES her clothes and getting dressed is the first thing she wants to do in the mornings when she wakes up. She has several pairs of shoes, but she has taken a keen interest in one pair ... her pink & white Nikes. Kali was with me when we bought these shoes, so somehow she has attached herself to these shoes with proprietary interest. She refuses to wear any other shoes and doesn't even like to take them off when it is bathtime.

She is all girl!!!