Three days and counting ...

I work with the best people in the world! Today was my last full day of work before our travels begin and my co-workers threw me a surprise shower today! It was truly unexpected and so wonderful of them. There are only 13 of us in my office, but with everything Kali received today from just these people, she won't have to wear the same outfit twice this summer! Since we bought Dora for her bed, Dora was the theme of the day. Kali is going to come home from Ethiopia seeing Dora and Boots in her sleep!

In addition to the shower, I received numerous phone calls and emails from the great agents we work with sending lots of good wishes and congratulations. I am sure they all knew that I was desperately trying to get my desk clean before leaving for a month because I had very few work related emails. I was able to get very close to my goal of leaving a clean desk. Just an hour or two on Saturday and I can leave on Monday with a clean conscience.

Mary has confirmed for us that we are allowed 2 bags of luggage each and, yes, the humanitatian aid counts as luggage. Rather than trying to pack everything in 4 suitcases, we will use 2 suitcases for clothes, etc, and we bought a couple of 18x18x16 boxes from the UPS store to pack the humanitarian aid. We have right at 49 pounds of diapers, formula, wipes and candy (wonder if the candy counts as humanitarian aid) in each box! I did inquire about shipping this to Ethiopia ahead of time, but Mary said that shipping is not advisable (hmmm ... wonder how many people ask about shipping and how many times they have to answer this question ... maybe they should just go ahead and put it in the Ethiopia travel packet up front). We arrive in DC Monday night and our plan is to go straight to the Ethiopian Air counter to check the bags right away, even though our flight isn't until the next morning. After all, I believe the airlines allow you to check in 24 hours in advance now. If you can check in from your home computer before even getting to the airport, surely they will allow us to check in the night before so that we don't have to lug all that stuff to the DC hotel with us.

We can't believe that this is finally upon us! To borrow from another blog, it is now Ethiopia or bust!!

Gifts Anyone??

Does anyone have good gift ideas for the caregivers?? We are beginning the shopping sprees to get everything ready for the trip. We have the humanitarian aid (I think I read somewhere that this does not count as luggage, since it appears that we are limited to one piece of checked luggage each ... can anyone confirm that?) and have the beginnings of a list. It appears that only the babies are transferred to the foster home prior to our arrival, so I am assuming that Kali will remain in her orphanage until we get there. I am actually glad of that, as I think the fewer moves she has to upset her life, the better. Anyway, the point of that little side bit is that I don't think we will even be meeting the caregivers at the foster home ... maybe. Maybe we should just bring a whole bunch of things for everyone. How many people would that be exactly? What about those of you who have met Belay ... anything in particular that you can suggest as a gift for him? So many things to keep thinking about!

Since Kali is older and we don't have to pack all the normal baby things that take up so much room (I remember the days of traveling with the mongo size bag of diapers that takes up an entire half of a suitcase!!), I hope to have some extra room for extra gifts. We should be able to pack all of Rick's things in one suitcase and then mine and Kali's things in another (yes, Rick needs his own suitcase ... I know I'll hear from him about that one!). Another sideline ... Rick has washed and is folding the clothes we bought for her right now ... it's one of those "oh, look at this ... how cute ... can't wait to see it on her" moments. After a few more dozen washings, that feeling wears off and it just becomes more laundry!

Would love to hear from those of you who have been there with ideas! Anything in particular that they all seemed to like that we can take more of? I've already got Starbursts and Peanut Butter Cups on the list for Ryan and Abby (thanks for the hint, Mary)!

She's Ours!!!

Fantastic news!! Mary called and our adoption of Kali was approved by the Ethiopian courts! She is officially ours! And the shots weren't so bad either.

We received a very nice surprise yesterday with new pictures of Kali. We just can't believe how incredibly cute she is, and her eyes are the best! Between staring at her picture all day, the pain in my arms (we got our travel shots this morning), and the great news from Mary, I found it very difficult to concentrate at work today. Rick and I are both so anxious to get there.

We officially booked our flights on Ethiopian Air and decided on the Hilton in Addis. We will be leaving June 4th!! The Sheraton looks amazingly luxurious, but we just couldn't justify it. Too bad that we didn't have the Bottomly's luck of the Hilton being completely booked already ... woulda been nice!! But where we stay ultimately doesn't matter nearly as much as getting there and bringing our daughter home!

As for the shots today, we both opted for the Hep A, Typhoid, Yellow Fever, and the Tdap (tetanus, diptheria & pertussis ... yes, pertussis!) I went ahead and had the Hep B done two weeks ago by my own doc, thinking I would get whatever I could out of the way here in town, thereby avoiding TOO many shots at one time. The nurse just kept asking over and over again why I got that one ... was I planning on working around blood or bodily fluids? Don't know what was up with her, considering both Gladney and CDC recommend Hep B as well. After the nurse's reaction to my Hep B shot, Rick opted out. Anyway, for anyone who is curious on how much $ to plan for on the shots, these 4 cost $450 total for both of us. The Tdap was a little more than just the straight tetanus shot. The meningitis is over $100 per shot, just in case you're planning on getting that one too.

Something tells me that these next two weeks will be loooooooong .....

Out of the mouths of babes ...

Further to my comments about raising a toddler ...

Yesterday when I picked Carson up from daycare, he asked me if he had a Nana. I explained to him that "Nana" is just another name for Grandmother and that he indeed has 2 nanas, but he calls them Grandma and Meme. Then he asked me if I am a nana. Thankfully, I was able to tell him no, not yet, that neither Landree, Channing, nor Jordan were married or had children yet. Carson responds, "But I am married to you and Daddy", at which I could only chuckle and respond "If you say so". (We've been through this before, trying to explain what being married is, and he just won't accept that he isn't married to me and Daddy.) Then the sweetest, most heart-tugging question ... "When you become a nana, will I have to find a new Mommy?" I tried to assure him many times over that I would ALWAYS AND FOREVER be his mommy, even if I do become a nana. Then he started whimpering ... "I don't want you to be a nana, or Daddy to be a grandpa either." I really hated to tell him (this goes out to Lori & Ted, another Ethiopian blog) ... people already think we ARE a nana and a grandpa ... to him!! And I thought we still looked so young ...

The 3 Big Questions ... And Answers

Time to address a few more specific questions about our adoption decision ...

1) Why did we decide to adopt at all? For those of you who know us, you know our "yours, mine & ours" family. Landree and Channing are Rick's two from his first marriage, Jordan is mine, and Carson is ours. After raising Jordan as an only child and fielding his many questions about when he was going to have brothers and sisters, and then seeing how very close Landree and Channing are as sister and brother, we knew that we didn't want Carson to be an only child. With the huge age difference between him and the other three, for all practical purposes he would have been raised as an only child. I suppose we could have tried to have another of our own, but we decided to adopt for a few reasons ... the main reason came from watching Carson. He is such a smart, loving, confident child and we know that much of this comes from him knowing how much he is loved. It is such a tragedy that there are so many children in the world who don't have that feeling of being loved, and we wanted to give a child that same feeling that we hope all of our children have. That, and I didn't want to have to go through pregnancy at age 40+!!

2) Why did we choose a toddler? Carson was 3 years old when we decided to pursue adoption and we knew that he would be 4 or close to it by the time we had our new little girl. We wanted both children to be close in age, but not so close that they would be in the same grade in school. And we wanted Carson to be the older brother, keeping the birth order. So we asked for a little girl between the ages of 1 and 3. As time went on, we somehow just began preparing our lives for a child closer to 3 ... buying bunkbeds?? Maybe it had something to do with dealing with a 3 year old at the time? I know that bringing a toddler home will present a totally different set of issues than bringing home an infant ... midnight cries instead of midnight feedings, teaching English instead of just teaching to speak, etc. And we are prepared for all of that. I was communicating recently with another parent who adopted a toddler and she mentioned how her child is finally beginning to feel more comfortable exploring the house. This brought a smile to my face because I remember when Carson became mobile ... I distinctly remember when he too began to feel more comfortable going into other rooms by himself without Mommy or Daddy being in there with him. And then it occurred to me that many of the transition problems/fears that scared us to begin with are normal things that even biological children experience. Besides, there is something so enchanting about watching a toddler develop and grow. Babies are sweet and adorable, but toddlers ... every single day, it is something new and wonderful. If you have never watched a toddler discover something new for the first time and try to figure it out, you just don't know what you are missing. And then when they start to talk, they will say something you had no idea they knew and say it at the right time in the right context ...it will just blow you away! Toddlers are little people in the making and they are truly amazing to watch!

3) Why did we choose Ethiopia? This is the easiest one to answer. Because of our ages, we discovered that we could not adopt domestically and get the toddler age that we wanted. We chose Gladney before we chose the country, so that certainly narrowed down our list of possible countries from which to adopt. We knew that we didn't want to wait 2+ years (China) or have to make several trips (Eastern Europe). We briefly considered the Latin countries because of the Latin influence in Texas. We thought it would be much easier to keep our daughter's culture alive for her being in Texas. But ultimately, we decided on Ethiopia. I don't know that there was any one real reason why we chose Ethiopia, but since race was not an issue to either of us, it was certainly never out of the picture. My sister spent time in Africa in the Peace Corps, and her experience there also helped to influence our decision. Rick started looking up all kinds of information on Ethiopia after we made our decision, and it only reinforced our decision. Then Landree gave me the book There Is No Me Without You for my birthday last year, and I couldn't wait to get there. What a wonderful, historic, proud country! We couldn't be more excited that our Kali will have such a rich heritage! And all of the blogs that we have been reading ever since do nothing but make us anxious to meet these remarkable people!

Shots ... arghh!!

I keep telling myself that if my 4 year old can handle getting 5 shots at his 4 year check up, I can certainly handle them as well! I strongly suggest that you begin getting your shots as soon as you get your referral or know that your paperwork is in Ethiopia. I looked up the recommended shots on the CDC website (very informative, by the way), and they recommend getting your shots 4-6 weeks before traveling. But they also go on to say that you really are not fully immunized form Hepatitis-B until after your 3rd booster ... 7 months after getting the first one!

Living in our itty bitty town, we have to go to the Public Health Department in Fort Worth. Apparently, they stay pretty busy because when I called to make the appointment for Rick and I to get the shots, they couldn't get us in for 2 weeks. And according to the lady who made the appointment for us, she advised getting the shots at an absolute minimum of 2 weeks before we arrive in Ethiopia. After reviewing the immunization info provided by CDC, I understand why. They advise that you are fully protected from Hepatitis-A 30 days after inoculation, but that you have a good, high level of the antibodies after only 2 weeks.

As it turns out, our appointment date is the same as our court date, so we may be crying and smiling all at the same time!!

I cannot wait for Mary to return from Ethiopia. I really want to know if she was able to see Kali and give her the photo album and gift we sent for her.

Almost time for American Idol ... gotta run!

Happy Mother's Day!!

What a glorious day for Mother's Day!! Here in north central Texas, the sun is shining and the weather is probably in the low 70's ... perfect for breakfast on the patio! For all of the mothers who are in Ethiopia right now with your new children, I know this is the best Mother's Day present you will ever get! My own sweet boy, Carson, just couldn't wait to wake me up and show me the cool music-playing Batman card that he personally picked out for me! He was so proud! Last night, my other sweet boy, Jordan, and I spent the evening having dinner and seeing the Ft Worth Symphony's performance of Beethoven's 9th, one of my favorites. I saw the sparkle in his eyes when the chorus kicked in and I knew that he would have given anything to be up there on stage singing with them! I hope he is able to get back into a choir when he gets to St. Edwards in August. It has been a year now since he was part of any choir and I know he misses it dearly.

To all the mothers I know, have a perfect Mother's Day with your children and treasure them always!!

Answering some questions

So, I have been getting some questions from friends and family and thought I might try to answer some things here ...

Everyone wants to know if Kali speaks English. My best answer is "I don't know". If I had to guess, I would say no. Amharic is the official language of Ethiopia, though we've been told that English is widely spoken and understood there too. Doesn't that just seem to be the case with so much of the world anyway?? At the age of 2-1/2, her verbal skills are still "under construction" as it is, so I'm not sure there is much of anything she speaks that anyone other than a mother would understand. For those of you who have toddlers or who have ever had a toddler, you'll understand that one! We will learn a few necessary phrases in Amharic just to be on the safe side. Ok, I say "we", I mean "I". Rick has a hard enough time with English (can you say nuclear? ... inside joke!).

The other question I keep getting is whether I have decorated the nursery yet. What nursery?? She is 2-1/2 years old! Actually, we decided some time ago, long before we even knew who she was, that she would share a room with Carson. I had considered moving them both into the bigger of the two secondary bedrooms, but then Jordan moved home. Believe me, he and his electronic toys and all of his clothes take up that room nicely! We bought bunk beds last year in anticipation of Kali. I don't know what we would have done had Gladney chosen a 1 year old for us ... there is no room in that bedroom for a crib! Anyway, Carson is in love with Dora and Diego and asked for a Diego bed for several months before his birthday. I just hope Kali isn't too freaked out by the giant Dora head that is on her bed! Maybe she'll also learn Spanish from sleeping on Dora!



Last week I made up a small photo album showing our family for Kali. Mary (the Ethiopian coordinator for Gladney) was leaving for Ethiopia today and she offered to take the photo album for me. I wanted Kali to have a glimpse of her new family prior to our arrival so that we are not complete strangers to her. I also enclosed a small stuffed animal for her so that she would have something of her own that she could take with her when she leaves the orphanage. Had I been thinking properly, I would have slept with the stuffed animal before sending it. I know it sounds silly, but when Carson started daycare after 3 months at home with me, I wanted him to feel safe and comfortable there; so I slept for several nights with the blanket that would go with him to daycare, hoping that it would soak up some scent of Mommy for him. The silly things Mommys do for their children!
I have been reading Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft and I must say that it is scaring me just a bit. It is a very good book and gives a lot of good information. But it also gives worst case scenarios, and they are a bit worrisome. This is such a hard age for adoption .. the child is old enough to know that something different is happening but not really old enough to know what it is. I know we will go through some rough patches, but my deepest hope is that this huge adjustment is not too terrifying for Kali. The book does give very good information on how to help your child attach to you and to allow for the grieving process as well. We have been told that the Ethiopian orphanges are filled with very loving caregivers for these children, and that is a giant plus in aiding Kali's transition. All of the blogs that we have been following certainly reinforce this information. I particularly love the beautiful montage of photos set to music on the "Elizabeth Alem" blog. You made both of us cry!

I know that the most difficult part of our journey ahead will be leaving behind all of the beautiful children who so desperately want a forever home. I know that my sweet husband will shed a few tears over this!

In the beginning ...

I wish I had started this blog last year when we made the decision to adopt. The best I can do is try to recap our experiences over the past year. After reading other blogs regarding international adoption, especially those adoptions from Ethiopia, I want to try to give information for matters on which I really had questions/thoughts.

Rick and I began this journey in April 2006 when we decided to complete our family with a little girl through adoption. After investigating the different options, we found that international adoption was the only route for us, and for various reasons, we chose Ethiopia. Thus the mountain of paperwork began!! It took several months of gathering all the items needed to complete our Gladney application, CIS application, and the foreign dossier. We actually got through everything fairly quickly and thought we were on track for a trip to Ethiopia by the end of 2006. Due to a small delay with CIS, we did not get final approval from Immigration until the middle of February, so our visions of an Ethiopian Christmas didn't pan out. But the best thing still happened ... I sent our official approval form from CIS to Mary at Gladney on a Friday in February. Three days later on Monday, Mary called me. I thought she was only going to tell me that she received my envelope, but she went on ... she had a referral for us! Needless to say, I was completely shocked! We had been told that things happen quickly in the Ethiopian program, but this was beyond quick! The only reason I can think of that expedited this for us is because we had requested a toddler. We wanted a little girl who is younger than, but close to Carson's age of 4. And we got her! We were introduced to beautiful little Kalekidan Yoseph through photos and medical information. It took less than 24 hours for us to reply to Mary that we knew she was ours! Her name means "promise" in Amharic, which is absolutely perfect. We decided to keep Kalekidan as her first name and we will call her Kali (think Gov Schwarzenegger trying to say California!) for short.

We were still in the authentication process at this point and the next round of delays began! After reordering birth certificates (apparently the "original" I had ordered for Rick was not truly an original), sending another copy of my birth certificate to the Secretary of State of Indiana (they lost the first one), and lots of overnight Fedex-ing, we got the word that our paperwork was now in the capable hands of Belay in Ethiopia.

Last Wednesday night, my ESP kicked in ... I had a dream about holding Kali and kissing her sweet face. Thursday afternoon Mary called with the good news that we have a court date of May 23rd! We flew off to Chicago for Landree's graduation from Wheaton College with this great news and we were able to thoroughly enjoy the weekend!

So, we are now at the point where we have to decide on an airline and a room in Addis. Gladney recommends both Ethiopian Air and Emirates Air. Price is comparable on both. Channing recently flew Emirates from India to London and said the airline was fantastic. But, I think we are leaning toward Ethiopian Air for the pure fact that there are no layovers anywhere. It appears to be a direct flight from Washington to Addis with one stop for refueling. Emirates has 2 layovers there and 2 on the way back. That is too much deplaning for me when you have a small child with you! We will post later to give more insight into Ethiopian Air. As for hotels, I was worried about Kali making another move from the orphanage to the Gladney foster home. I was even more worried about her stress level when these two strangers come in and whisk her off to a hotel to stay with them, away from her comfort zone. Abby has assured us that the transition for Kali should go well. She also said that the hotels are quite near Kali's orphange so we would be close to her old "home". We are relying on her, and I think we will choose the Hilton. Again, additional posts to come later.