A Promise From Ethiopia

Goodbye

2008-07-31T21:21:00.003-05:00

Well, it is time to put the blog to rest. It's clear that I don't have time to keep it updated, considering it's been two months since my last post. A lot has happened since my last post ...

We celebrated our one year anniversary of "Gotcha Day". Kali has changed so much since we first saw her, yet she is still the feisty little girl who can hold her own with any rough and tumble boy.

Our 3 oldest kids are scattered all over the world ... Channing is still in China, but we hope to have him home soon; Landree spent six weeks in England and feels as if she will be back there again soon; Jordan is in his 5th week of Navy boot camp at Great Lakes, IL and will be graduating a month from now.

And Carson will be starting "big kids school" (Kindergarten) in a few short weeks.

But the biggest change of all since my last post ... kindergarten will be in West Texas. Yes, we are moving. Rick took a new job out west and we are moving in just one more week. Considering our house sold in only two weeks, it is clear that this move was meant to be. Life has been hectic, to say the least, trying to get all the logistics of a cross-state move (and when it's Texas, that's a big move!) in order AND continue working full time AND taking care of two little kids. Yeah, I know ... cry me a river, my own little pity party. I can't wait until all of this is over and we can settle back in to normal life. But I will miss my house and my life in North Central Texas.

I had the cutest picture of the kids waving goodbye, but alas, the picture is on my other computer which is sitting on a Bekins moving truck right now.

I know I will always keep in touch with some of the friends I have made in our adoption journey ... all the wonderful people at Gladney, Rachel, Kathy, Carol ... we will never be completely out of touch. And I know I will see many of you again at another Gladney function. New friends await in the Midland GFA as well.

Blessings to you all!

Our Munchkins

2008-05-07T21:50:00.003-05:00

These two never cease to amaze us. They are the very best of friends and every bit brother & sister. They squabble and fight over toys and who gets to watch what on TV, with the frequent "he's touching me" or "she's looking at me" thrown in for good measure just to make sure we are listening. Then the next minute they are playing and laughing and having the best time ever. They take very good care of each other and always have each other's back. For a while, Carson seemed to be fully in charge ... deciding what they were going to play, making all the rules (and of course changing them midstream to his benefit), and ordering Kali around. But she has come into her own and she is now quite comfortable throwing her own orders around. But he's still such a great big brother to her.

Funny story from Wal Mart ... I had both kids with me one day doing a little shopping and we stopped in the kids' clothing section. Kali was riding in the kids' seat on the cart while Carson was walking with me. We picked out a few things and proceeded to the food section where we ran into my mother. We stopped to talk a minute and I noticed a shirt in the cart that I had not put there. I picked it up and asked, "Where did this come from?" Kali smiled and said, "Me!". It was a pink shirt, the right size for her, and it said in big letters on the front FUTURE PRESIDENT. Don't ask me how she managed to snag this shirt as we were walking past the rack, and in the right size no less, but it was so prophetic! Now, we just have to get rid of that silly little law that says you have to be born in the USA to be President!

The Fatal Kiss!

2008-04-08T19:09:00.002-05:00

Thank goodness it was just my normal over-reacting! Like I said, I actually didn't think about the possible bigotry until much later in the evening, so it wasn't my first reaction at all ... but I still had to ask. I had to know! The answer ...

The assistant director actually laughed when I asked her if Kali's skin was the "issue". She assured me that they have no tolerance at the preschool for such things and that if a parent had "issue" with Kali's color, that parent would not be welcome at the daycare. In fact, she said that many of the parents are quite fond of Kali and often talk to her when they drop off their kids. Apparently, this particular little boy who has the "issue" had been at another daycare prior to this one and some things happened. She could not tell me what things ... and honestly, I didn't want to know ... but the mom now tends to over-react herself over something as innocent as a kiss from an affectionate 3 year old. But hey ... depending on what the issue from the previous daycare is, I might be just as overprotective of my children.

Whew! Now I don't have to go and beat someone up ...

The Kali and Kuri Reunion!

2008-04-07T18:48:00.004-05:00

We meet again!

We finally got to have the long-awaited reunion of the two good buddies from Addis Ababa! Of course, it didn't quite go as we had hoped. Kuri very much remembers Kali, but Kali wasn't quite so sure about Kuri ... after all, she's been here now for almost 10 months and little 3 year old minds just don't remember too much from being 2. But it was still a really nice reunion. Kuri was a little shy at first, but by the time lunch was over, she was laughing at things and having a good time. They did NOT want to stand next to each other for a picture, so we had to trick them and take the picture when they didn't notice. Of course, smart as Kuri is, she figured out I had taken a picture and was none too happy with me.

We can't wait to get together again with the Waltons. The next time should be much easier since the girls have now become reacquainted with each other.

On a side note, I think I may have just experienced my first bout of bigotry with Kali ... I think. I am going to have to dive into this a little further and report back tomorrow. I went to pick the kids up from daycare today. They were on the playground so I stopped there first to pick them up before going into the school to get their things. One of the teachers came up to me with a strange look on her face and asked me if I had been in the office yet. Kali was sitting off to the side of the playground with a little boy and another teacher was talking to them, so I just assumed she had gotten in trouble and I asked if that was it. The teacher tells me, "Well, no, not in trouble. But she (lowered voice) kissed one of her friends today on the lips. They'll tell you about it in the office because they have an incident report for you to sign." An incident report!! for a 3 year kissing another 3 year old!! The horrors! So we head into the school to get their things, and the assistant director pulls me into a side room and quietly tells me, in a very hushed voice, that Kali had kissed one of the other students, went and played, and then came back and kissed him again, all in the span of about two minutes. I guess my face must have said it all, because she quickly tried to explain to me that this little boy she kissed "has ... umm ... issues with this." What kind of issues?? They do go to a church-based preschool, but it's Methodist, for goodness sake ... not something super conservative where kissing is only allowed between two consenting married adults! I told her that I didn't understand why it was such a big deal ... she's only 3 years old after all. There was absolutely nothing sexual about it ... she kisses her brothers on the lips too. So she tries to tell me that it really isn't a big deal, but some of the parents make it into a bigger deal than it really is. Ok, I can kind of understand that. Parents who don't know that ALL kids bite each other around the age of two make a big deal out of that too when their child happens to be on the receiving end of a bite (even though their child is probably also doing a little biting of their own). I am still a bit flabbergasted by it all and she proceeds to ask me if I am mad. I'm not mad, just a little confused. Why would they make such a big deal over a 3 year old kissing another kid, and in such hushed tones???

So I am cooking dinner this evening still in a state of confusion by it all and it hits me ... is it because she is (gasp!) B-L-A-C-K? Is that the "issue" the assistant director spoke of? If so, it has to be an issue with the parent, not the child. "Some parents make a bigger deal out of it than it really is." And the hushed tones, pulling me into a side room so as not to be overheard by another parent ...

I WILL ask about this tomorrow and report back. I sure hope I am wrong about this ...

Reunited with Belay

2008-03-31T20:17:00.002-05:00

Gladney just celebrated their 120th Anniversary and the festivities were great. The best part of the shindig was that we got to see ALL of the wonderful Gladney people who brought our sweet Kalkidan to our family ... Ryan and Abby, Scott and Monica, Mary, and the Great Belay (or is it Saint Belay?? inside joke). Even got to spend the evening chatting with Piper's mom, Rachel Elliott. So sorry that we didn't meet up with you guys again on Saturday, Rachel. Soccer interferred. And we missed the Kali/Kuri reunion ... I just knew that the Waltons would be catching up from jetlag. Drat and double drat!! But we'll have that reunion very soon.

A Letter to Ethiopia

2008-02-24T20:23:00.004-06:00

Dear Children,

Your prayers have been answered!!! If all goes as planned, meet your new family.

The Wolfe Family

We know you will love being Wolfe cubs!

With all the love in Texas,
Rick, Becky, Landree, Channing, Jordan, Carson and Kali

Look what we got!

2008-02-24T09:10:00.005-06:00

Such a beautiful surprise we received last week from our sweet Aschalew! Scott and Emily Lydick returned from Ethiopia just a few weeks ago and brought this beautiful oil painting for us from Aschalew. He had a friend paint this from a photo he had. If you look closely, you'll see the elephants in the bottom right corner ... we were at the Ft Worth Zoo.

This painting will definitely take a place of honor in our home once we have it framed! What a wonderful tribute from one of the kindest, sweetest young men we have ever met! And a very special thanks to Scott and Emily for bringing this home to us ... even when the airport officials made you take it off of it's frame.

On the home front, we have a comedy team on our hands. These two kids keep us in stitches. I know I keep saying that it is amazing how well Kali speaks English now, but it is true. People who now meet her would never know that English was not her first language and that she has only been immersed in English for 8 months. So, she has re-discovered Dora and Diego. The little girl who previously could not sit through 5 minutes of any other TV program or movie will now sit and watch Dora or Diego videos for hours ... that is, if we allowed it. It is the first thing she asks for when she wakes up in the morning, the first thing she asks for after school, and the last thing she asks about when she goes to sleep ..."Tomorrow, I can watch Dora?" She interacts with everything they say and ask and she can even count to 5 in Spanish now ... except for the 3 ... she jumps straight from dos to cuatro. And then tres pops in after cinco. But hey ... 3 languages now! Aschalew would be jealous ... he asks me to teach him more Spanish in every letter he sends.

Anyway, last night we took them to see a show and got into an interesting conversation in the car on the way home. We decided that we would all have a race today to see who was fastest, and Dad and Carson began a battle of words ...

Dad: "Hey Carson, my friends call me Lightning."
Carson: "Well, my friends call me Speedy the Racer."
Kali: "My friends call me Dora!"

What a character! Rick has decided he is going to handcuff Kali to the couch when she turns 16 and make her watch a marathon of Dora videos so she knows what we have been going through now!

Hair & Skin

2008-02-16T19:35:00.005-06:00

I know that I, like many people adopting African or African American children, panicked at the very thought of caring for the hair and skin of these beautiful children. After considerable trial and error, and some great advice from other women, we have hit on some things that work for us. Thought I'd share what we have learned.

Hair: We wash Kali's hair only once a week with a normal tearfree baby shampoo. After washing, we put a good quality conditioner in her hair (we've been using Pantene for curl definition), comb it through, let it sit in her hair for a few minutes and then rinse. Those little curls just perk right up after this washing and her hair is sooooooo soft!! Throughout the rest of the week, I will get it wet every other day and spray a good leave-in conditioner in it before it dries. I have been using Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla. It's a little pricey, but it too leaves Kali's curls very soft ... and it smells really good too! And that's it. As for hair styles, her hair is still pretty short so we're not at the braiding stage yet. Most mornings it's a headband or a few barrettes. On weekends when we have more time, she may get puffs, but she really doesn't like it when I put puffs in. I think she prefers the natural, care-free afro!

Skin: Kali has very dry skin. We do give her a bath every night and use baby wash for cleaning. But we have to immediately lotion her up after her bath to keep her skin from getting too dry. I've run the gamet on trying to find the right lotion ... my personal favorites for myself have always been Lubriderm and Aveeno, but neither of those worked for Kali. In the mornings her skin would just be too dry. I finally hit on Eucerin Plus. This one works very well, but I have to warn you ... it is very greasy. Now I use Gold Bond Ultimate with Shea Butter. This one is not greasy at all and it keeps Kali's skin very soft and supple. I like this one the very best!

Face: This poor little thing has not been able to get over a cold and allergies for at least the past 3 weeks. Her nose has been running like a faucet, it seems like forever. Needless to say, with all of the nose wiping, the skin under her nose and around her mouth had become EXTREMELY dry, to the point of being flaky. I advise against putting any kind of regular hand or body lotion on your child's face ... it will make their face break out. So I hit the face products aisle at Wal Mart. Do you know how hard it is to find a good face lotion that isn't supposed to be geared toward fine lines and wrinkles? Don't think I need to worry about that with this little girl for quite some time. I tried Aveeno, I tried Neutrogena, I tried Oil of Olay, I tried the Wal Mart brand ... I even tried the good stuff, Estee Lauder. None of it seemed to work. So here's the funny part ... I remembered that Vitamin E is very good for your skin and for helping scars heal. Wouldn't you know it, it's also much less expensive than any face product ... and it worked! Just a drop applied to her skin once a day and after just a few days, the dryness and flaky skin was gone! Her nose is still running, but that's another issue altogether!

Just a few side notes ... Kali has a tendancy to get these small warts, called molluscum, on her face and neck. She had several on her eyelid and the edge of her lip when we first met her that she soon scratched off. Over the past 8 months, new ones developed on her chin and her neck. The pediatrician kept telling us these were nothing to worry about, and everything I read tells me that this is quite common in children and eventually goes away. But still, it drove me crazy to see these things, seemingly getting bigger every day, on her pretty little face. Thankfully, she did end up scratching them off on her face and now we only have one left on her neck. I asked Belay about these when we were in Ethiopia and he too said that it is very common ... and he suggested using Compound-W to get rid of them. On her face??? NOT!! I hope new ones don't develop, but at least I now know that when they go away, there is no discernible scar left after they heal. The other item is the ringworm ... another common little pest. Kali got this lovely fungus right in the middle of her forehead ... a week before picture day at the daycare too!! Lotrimin ... works wonders!! Even says it right on the label ... "for ringworm". Keep some in the medicine cabinet ... you just never know.

Happy hair and skin care!!

3 days of Kinfe kids ...

2008-01-25T20:53:00.001-06:00

I don't know where to start. The Kinfe kids are smiling! They don't know why yet, but trust me ... they're smiling! I suppose I should start at the beginning ... sometimes not as much fun as starting at the end, but I'll let the suspense build ...

We have been thinking a lot lately about our dear teenagers in Ethiopia. We sent Christmas presents for them with a very nice family who was kind enough to take our heavy boxes with them in their suitcases. We haven't heard yet whether they were able to deliver the gifts ... hope that they weren't confiscated at the Addis Ababa airport! Those guards might look awfully silly wearing the pink and purple toe socks we sent for the girls!

Anyway, back to the story. I think about Aschalo and his living conditions at Kolfe Boys Home quite often. I remembered reading some great news about plans for Kolfe and the boys on Eileen Mestas' blog and decided to catch up on my overdue blog stalking (check out her two posts from January 8th). So on Wednesday, I sent Eileen an email asking some questions about Kolfe and, specifically, Aschalo. I was checking my email the next day to see if Eileen replied (she did ... thank you!), and there in my inbox is an email from a new friend of this past summer when the kids were with us, Melani. Melani mentions to me that her parents are in Addis now for some mission work and they will be checking in with the Kinfe kids and will let us know how they are doing. Thank you so much, Melani!

Ok, stick with me here. I'm getting to the really good stuff. Today, day three, I am at my work desk eating my lunch and typing a reply to Melani (I promise, my bosses ... I was on my lunch hour!) when my husband calls me. He just happened to take the afternoon off from work today and was home to receive a phone call from Scott Brown of Gladney. Scott gave Rick some fantastic news ... no, the kids have not been adopted yet, but they are now well on their way! The adoption expenses for Aschalo, Genet and Yesalemush are no longer an issue for the lucky family that will step forward to bring these children home!

Ever heard of David Nasser? We had not until this afternoon. Landree had ... we had dinner with her this evening and asked her if she had ever heard of him. She looked at us warily and said, "Yes ... why? I just ordered his book yesterday." Yesterday we did not know who these people are, but today David and Jennifer Nasser are the two most wonderful people on the face of this earth! What a gift they and the students of Liberty University have gathered for these kids! This is truly amazing! Sorry folks ... you're just gonna have to click on the link to get it all. I don't think I could do the story justice if I tried to repeat it myself. All of the details have not been worked out quite yet ... all of this happened only yesterday ... but the current plan is to pay all adoption expenses for these kids and possibly put some away for their education.

Anyone who ever has anything bad to say about the youth of America these days had better not say anything to me!

And now to finish the story. The mail came today and we received a beautiful letter from Genet and Yesalemush. The end of the letter ...

"We are so busy, we spend our time by study. Many children are finish their process and goes to U.S.A. we are very sad. Every day we pray to God to help us to get a family from Texas. We ask you again don't forget us to find a family to adopt us."

My dear children, you are NOT forgotten!!!

And for the non-Texans, I'll interpret ... "a family from U.S.A"

We know the day is just around the corner now when we will receive that next call from Scott telling us that the Kinfe kids are coming home! Anyone who knows me knows that I am not the most spiritual person they've ever met, but that doesn't mean I am not a believer. I believe in the goodness of people and I find myself believing with all of my heart that God has had his hand in this one. Three solid days of Kinfe kids on the mind and heart, and oh what a happy almost-ending!!

As the song says, "... the rest is still unwritten."

Sharing Christmas

2007-12-27T19:32:00.000-06:00

Making Christmas cookies is much more fun when you eat the flour too!

I see Mary and one of the Three Wisemen

Opening presents with Aunt Sandy at the Page Christmas

Are these Halloween costumes for next year? Cool bath towels! Thanks Aunt Sandy and Uncle Terry!

And not to be outdone, Landree gets into the act too!

The proverbial "kids table", Christmas Eve with the Kleins.

This bag ought to have LOTS of stuff in it since it's almost as big as me!

Wait! Carson still sees one more thing way down at the bottom of the bag!

Can you believe these two are twins? Cousins Merrick and Rowan.

These kids had more fun playing with the babys' toys than their own!

When I grow up I want to be a welder just like my brother, Channing!

Yeah, but Kali and Channing won't be the ONLY welders in the family!

Christmas morning with my two favorite guys ... Daddy and Monkey George!

It is so hard to believe that it has been 6 months already since Kali became part of our lives. I have started following some of the other Gladney Ethiopian blogs again and it's all coming back to me ... the joy of referral day; the excitement of traveling to Africa; the overwhelming anticipation waiting at the hotel for our daughter to be brought to us; the look of sheer terror and utter confusion on her face. Too many adjectives? How about the longing to be home once you have your child in your arms; the fear of not knowing what to do now that you have your child in your arms; the doubt and wondering if you've done the right thing; the dread of the long flight(s) home; the exhaustion once you are home; and then real life resumes. Except now there's an additional little person(s) in your life and now you have to learn about each other ... difficult, exciting, scary, rewarding, frustrating, and downright fun sometimes.

Being on the other side of the hill now, it's fun to look back and follow the blogs of the parents still climbing that hill ... and I mean that in the nicest of ways! We made it over the top and we're doin' great! That's not to say that it's all downhill from here ... we still have puberty, driving lessons, dating, and applying for college to get through!

I read an article in an adoption magazine some time ago that stuck with me. The author, the mom, seemed quite offended when people would notice her daughter of a different race and make comments, NICE comments, about her and completely ignore her other biological children. She wanted to scream back to these people, "what about these kids here ... chopped liver!?" I have to admit I've noticed that people pay much more attention to Kali than Carson and make comments about how cute she is ... but let's think about it for a minute. She does kind of stand out when we're all together. And she is beautiful, so I really can't blame them for saying so. If people notice this beautiful African flower in a lily white field, would I rather have them say something nice like "Oh how pretty she is!", or something nasty? No brainer! So, even though Carson too is a beautiful child, it doesn't bother me a bit when folks notice Kali and say something NICE about her!! As a matter of fact, in the 6 months that we've had Kali, we have not had one negative experience or comment from other people. Knock on wood ...

Not much of anything new to report on Kali. She is a normal little 3 year old girl ... she likes to wear dresses (especially the kind that swirl really big when she turns around in circles), she likes to mimic her brother, she changes her mind every other day about what she likes and dislikes, she likes to whine when she doesn't get her way, she wants to do EVERYTHING herself, and she wants to help you do everything too. Listening to her talk, nobody would ever believe that she didn't speak a word of English 6 short months ago ... she is a chatterbox deluxe! The most shocking thing that has happened ... she loves one of the dogs! Phoebe, our yellow lab, is her best buddy now. Every day before we leave for school, she leans down and gives Phoebe a hug and kiss. 6 months ago she was convinced that Phoebe was going to eat her! She's still afraid of every other dog she meets, from the biggest doofus dogs to the smallest puppies. One of these days she'll figure it all out and she'll probably grow up to be a veterinarian ... or a ballroom dancer so she can have all those cool swirly dresses!

It's a small world after all ...

2007-12-22T07:57:00.000-06:00

Remember this picture? This is one that our Gladney caseworker, Mary, sent to us after visiting Addis and giving Kali our gift. The little girl on the right is Kali's best friend, Kuri. We were told that Kali was so quiet and shy and Kuri was the only one in the orphanage Kali would talk to. Those Gladney people ... I think God must have a direct telephone line straight to their doors. Kuri is being adopted by a family who lives only about 40 miles away from us!!! Check out the Walton's new blog to follow their journey http://onemorewalton.blogspot.com/

Merry Christmas to all!

Thanksgiving snow in North Texas!!

2007-11-23T20:23:00.000-06:00

Kali and "Aunt" Cathy catching snowflakes

What a shocker! Sitting around the living room watching football after the turkey gorge, and someone yells, "It's snowing!" Kali got to experience snow for the first time and she loved it. No snowman yet ... it was a wet snow that didn't stick, but she and Carson were able to get a few little snowballs out of the accumulation on the cars. And Jordan thought he had to go to Wisconsin to see some snow for Thanksgiving!

This is Kali's new hair. I know, I know ... it doesn't look much different than before. We had about 1/2 of the length taken off, so no more Afro Puffs for a while. This short hair is so much easier to deal with. Just wet it down in the mornings, spray a little leave-in conditioner, pick out and go! Maybe that's why I keep mine short too ... add a blow dryer and take away the pick, though.

Every time we both look at Kali, we can't help but think of the difference between the little girl we brought home and the little girl we have now. Every day she adds more to her vocabulary and she is such a chatterbox ... fits right into my side of the family! She smiles and laughs all the time and those beautiful little eyes just sparkle. We have learned how to divert her almost-tantrums now ... distraction works wonders! All I have to do is get her talking about something else and she forgets all about what made her upset in the first place. It takes a lot of patience (and I will admit that this is something I run short of more often than I would like) and trial-and-error to find out what works. I hope we have hit on something now that will work for quite a long time. Of course, we still have the drama ... oh, the drama! One would think her leg was being cut off when she gets the slightest little booboo! And when she gets mad at us, she starts crying for anyone, and I mean ANYONE, who is not in the immediate area. It was her Papa, it was her sister Landree, and more recently it was her teacher, Alicia! The one that had us laughing the hardest was when she was crying for her little 3 year old friend from daycare, Lily!

But the best part of having Kali ... when she grabs my face and says "I love you, Mommy" just right out of the blue.

We are both completely in love with our daughter! Because of this, I can now say what I am about to say and be comfortable with it. I have always tried to be honest in this blog, so here goes.

I was very disappointed in myself when it was not love at first sight with Kali. I was even more disappointed when the love did not seem to come for some time. I didn't want to talk about it for a while ... I thought there was something wrong with me, or that maybe we had jumped into adoption too soon. I certainly didn't want to write about it in my blog ... what would people think of me? "What a witch, not loving that precious little girl!" Don't get me wrong ... I always wanted to take care of her and protect her - that maternal thing - but I just wasn't prepared for the lack of affection that I had for this child. I know we have all had the fantasies of seeing our children for the first time and having them immediatey love us and us love them. Even though I knew this was just a fantasy, I couldn't help but wonder if it still couldn't happen that way ... but it didn't. Maybe it was having biological children of my own already, whom I absolutely adore, and then adopting; maybe it was adopting a toddler rather than an infant; or maybe it was neither of these and it was just me.

But then I did start talking about it to friends and family, and I found out that maybe I wasn't so weird after all. Maybe it was more normal than I thought not to have that instant love with this new little person in my life. And then it happened. I can't say exactly when, but sometime in the past 6 months, I fell in love with my daughter! I am pretty sure it happened sooner for Rick, and I must say that I am a little envious of that. Now I find myself doing the same things to her that I do to Carson ... stroking her hair or cheek, rubbing her back when she is sitting next to me, kissing her for no reason at all. When I tell her that I love her, it comes straight from my heart and I know that I mean every breath of those 3 words! So, for those of you who may be experiencing this same situation, you're not weird. Just be patient ... it happens. For those of you who bonded instantly and felt that love from the moment you first laid eyes on your sweet children, be thankful for that blessing!

So on this first Thanksgiving with our new daughter and our newly formed family of seven, I am most thankful for the mysterious and wonderful way that love works its miracles in our hearts!

Happy Thanksgiving from the Page Family!

I hear they all do it ...

2007-11-14T21:58:00.000-06:00

What is it with kids and scissors and their hair? I managed to raise one who never cut his own hair ... that is, not until he was 18 and decided to use the dog clippers to shave his head ... does that count? I remember when my 18 year old neice was small and decided she didn't want bangs anymore ... clip ... that's one way to get rid of them! So I'm warning all of you parents of young children ... hide ALL the scissors, even the dull ones that you think couldn't cut water ... they probably still work on hair!

In addition to cutting his own hair ... big chunk, right in the middle above his forehead (if you look closely at the picture, you can kind of see the semi-bald spot) ... Carson decided it would be fun to cut Kali's hair too. Let's put it this way ... she no longer has a widow's peak! I had to cut Carson's hair extra short to try to blend his work into the rest (I still think Rick secretly put Carson up to this just so I would be forced to give him the shaved head 1950's farmboy look he so wants our son to have!), but there was no way I was going to attempt to tackle those curls of Kali's. So today she got her first haircut ... well, her first haircut with us. After 11 months of growing hair (her head was shaved sometime around January of this year at the orphanage) and 5 months of me longing for it to grow faster so we could start braiding it, we're back to tight little curls. I have to admit, though, it looks really cute short. She looks so chic! No picture yet ... maybe tomorrow.

And we no longer own a pair of scissors ... maybe I should hide the weedeater and hedge clippers in the garage too ...

Happy Halloween!!

2007-10-28T16:13:00.000-05:00

The Queen and King of Hearts!

Happy Autumn!!

2007-10-22T21:00:00.000-05:00

From Ethiopian Princess ...

... to American Diva!

After we had Carson, I would jokingly think that the hospital switched babies on me. After all, how in the world did I, with brown eyes and brown hair, get a tow head with blue eyes?? Now it's deja vu ... I don't think we have an Ethiopian little girl! With her almond shaped eyes and big chubby cheeks, Kali doesn't seem to possess the traditional Ethiopian features. But here's the clincher ... she is so warm natured, she refuses to sleep under her covers. She will kick them off every single time you try to cover her up. And when she gets out of bed, her little arms and legs will be like ice from the air conditioning, but she swears she isn't the least bit cold. For those of you who have already been to Ethiopia, you get this ... all those people wandering around in mid 70 degree weather wearing coats and scarves and bundling up! For those of you yet to travel to Ethiopia, you'll get it once you see all those babies bundled up like little Eskimo babies.

Poor Carson. One can tell he is definitely the product of older parents. He is playing T-ball with other 3 and 4 year olds through the Boys & Girls Club. First, it is clear that these kids are waaaay too young to be playing any kind of organized sports. It's not competitive in the least ... there are no outs, no score keeping, and every kids gets to bat twice. But when some of the 3 year olds are crying and refusing to go out on the field, and others are just leaving the field to go play on the nearby swingset, yes ... they are too young. This is all for the parents, not for the kids. As for Carson having older parents ... he is the only one on the team without his own bat bag, baseball bat, and batting helmet. We bought him a glove and that's all. But I certainly can't throw stones ... I bought all that stuff for Jordan when he first started playing ball too. Just a little bit older and wiser now ...

HAPPY AUTUMN!

Pink ribbons everywhere!

2007-10-13T19:32:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it ... this disease has hit close to home now. My cousin's wife, Kim Klein, was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this year. Kim and Randy have 3 children and Kim has been going to law school to finish her education. Even though they have insurance, the out of pocket expenses are still staggering. Kim started a blog to chronicle her journey through breast cancer, and now her blog has been chosen as one of 20 finalists for a $10,000 scholarship!

Please take a look at Kim's blog (http://blawgcoop.com/lawmom/) and help her win this honor and the money to continue with law school. And please add Kim and her family to your prayer list. With all the love we have in this Ethiopian adoption community, I am sure there is room left for one Law Mom who needs our support and encouragement!

What a week!

2007-10-05T21:38:00.000-05:00

Attorney Susan Paquet, Carson & Daddy, Judge Catterton, Kali & Mommy

Kali is officially ours now according to the U.S. government! There is only one more step to this whole process and that is to apply for U.S. citizenship for her. But you'll never be able to convince Kali that she is not an American already ... Wednesday evening, after she took her baby doll to the doctor and the dentist (both have offices in our front yard under the mesquite tree apparently), she took her doll stroller, turned and waved to me and said, "Bye, Mommy. I go to Wa-Mart."

For those of you in the DFW area, I do recommend using Susan Paquet as your adoption attorney. She is the one recommended by Gladney. She is very efficient and just gets it done. It did feel a little strange, though, meeting our attorney for the first time 30 minutes before going into the courtroom. Other than the courtroom appearance, which took all of 30 minutes for the 5 families adopting that morning, everything was handled over the phone and through the mail. And the total out-of-pocket was much less than we expected too. It was totally painless!

Carson has his first t-ball game on Saturday morning. He is only 4 so it isn't Little League. This is through the Boys & Girls Club. He had his one and only practice Thursday night and it was hilarious! At this age, they are not taught positions yet. They're just all stuck out in the outfield and it is a free-for-all when that ball is hit! Whoever gets the ball first gets to throw it in ... and probably got a knee in the eye too when going after the ball with all 8 other boys! It is a sight to see and I can't wait to see how a real game goes. Go Team Spiderman!!

To my family and friends, you may want to sit down for this one. My BIG baby boy, Jordan, has officially joined the NAVY!!!

We sure didn't see this one coming when he announced his intentions to us a month ago. But we are very proud of him and his decision to follow this path. He signed with the Navy on Thursday of this week and will be going to CTN school (Cryptologic Technician Networking). He is very "stoked" about this and cannot wait to begin this phase of his life. I now proudly display a "Proud Parent of a SAILOR" sticker on the back window of my car. Jordan, you rock!!!

Attitude Galore!!

2007-10-01T18:54:00.000-05:00

I agree with Rachel, it is getting harder to blog. Not only are there fewer hours in the day than there ever used to be (yes, I promise!), but it's just hard to blog about normal every day life.

But there is still one thing I can talk about ... ATTITUDE! I thought raising boys was tough, but I had no idea what tough was until I had a girl. And it doesn't matter what country a girl was born in, a girl is a girl is a girl the whole world over and they all come with attitude galore! It's in the "Born a Girl for Dummies" handbook, Chapter 1, titled "Diva-licious"!

I recently ran into a friend who also raised only boys. She is now raising her 3 year old granddaughter. We found out that we now have a lot in common ... a little princess who insists upon being queen of the house! Kali is the most stubborn little creature that I have ever run across in my life. She can be sweet and loving one moment, and totally defiant in the next. I hate to put a stain on the fairer sex of the world, especially since I am one of them, but I firmly believe that the attitude has everything to do with those double X chromosomes and the hormones going bonkers in her little body (yes, I am convinced now that the hormones appear waaaayyy earlier than the teen years in girls!) and nothing to do with adoption transition. You know the wet noodle thing that all kids do when they get upset? That's Kali every time you want her to do something that she does not want to do. She gives you that glare that says "Make me!" and when you try to pick her up, you get wet noodle and major attitude. And the biggest cut-down she can think of when she is mad at you is "You're not my friend!"

Ok, so we want our girls to have some attitude and be able to handle themselves, right? I much prefer that she wait until she's grown and take that attitude out on someone else!

Surprisingly, she has not a touch of grace. If it can fall out of her mouth, it will. If it can spill and make a mess, it will. And if more can get on her clothes than in her mouth, it will. But I suppose we'll have to let her slide on this for a while ... after all, she was used to eating with her fingers and is only now getting the hang of using utensils. And to be honest, it is kind of funny. She will drop the candy out of her mouth at least 3 times before finishing it, and that's just from opening her mouth to talk!

On the bright side, her English is soooo good. She is quite the chatter box. We still have a bit of trouble understanding her here and there, but all we have to do is ask Carson what she said ... you know that they all speak the same language when they are under 5 years old anyway. And she still has that smile that lights up the whole room and a giggle that makes us all want to break into fits of laughter.

We will be visiting the Tarrant County Family Court on Wednesday of this week to make Kali an official American! She will no longer be Kalidan Rickey Page, she will become Kalkidan Faye-Sophia Page. She will have a birth date of 08/22/04 instead of 08/22/05. But the best part is that she will be ours according to the US Government as well as the Ethiopian Government! Add one more to the inheritance ... like there will be any!

It may take time, but she will learn ... I am the queen of the house and I will win all power struggles! It took her daddy a while to learn that one too!

More breakthroughs ...

2007-09-19T19:33:00.000-05:00

The Tatoo Twins

Kali is definitely going to be a surgeon when she grows up ... she insists upon washing her hands all the way up to the elbow!

Breakthrough #1:

Kali always wanted to have exactly what Carson had, whether it was something to eat, a toy, anything. We know that most of this came from not knowing the language, so she would just say the same thing Carson would say. The other part of this mix, though, was thinking that she was missing out on something great if she didn't get exactly what her brother did. In the past few weeks, Kali actually asked for something different for breakfast than what Carson was having! I know this sounds trivial, but we really thought that this was a good milestone! Not only does she understand the language better and is figuring out what she likes and dislikes, she is starting to separate herself from Carson!

Breakthrough #2:

And another milestone in the language department ... as part of our bedtime routine, I read the kids two books every night right before bedtime. Carson had been picking out the books because Kali wouldn't sit down to listen anyway. She didn't understand what I was saying, so why should she sit and listen? She was allowed to play in the room while I read, but she couldn't leave the room. Now Carson picks out one book and Kali picks out one book ... and she actually sits and listens to the book! She likes to turn the pages for the most part, but while waiting to turn the page, she listens to the story and will even make comments when she hears something she recognizes!

Little things that mean so much to us as parents!

Teenager Update

2007-09-14T19:53:00.001-05:00

Remember them? Oh how I wish I had good news to report. Sadly, our joy in having Kali as part of our lives is often overshadowed by the heartbreak that these children still do not have a forever family. We received letters today from Genet and Yesalemush. This is the second set of letters that we have received from them since their return to Ethiopia in mid July. These new letters are even more heartwrenching than the first set. The girls are so sweet and mention everyone by name, even remembering that Kali was going to have a birthday and wishing her a Happy Birthday. But their sadness at not having a family is so painful to read. Yesalemush writes, "Please try and be fast the paper and try to be fast to pick me out from Ethiopia to USA."

We thought the children knew that we were not adopting them, that we were truly just a host family for them for their stay here in Texas. But then, at the end of their time here, we found out that ALL the children were told that their "families" were only host families, even those whose families were already committed to adopting them. And then they also saw that most of the kids from last year's camp were indeed adopted. So what are they supposed to think? Of course they think that we are adopting them! How are we now supposed to tell them that we are not in a position to adopt them?

Even if there is a family out there who is meant to have these children, we know that the process takes time. But we can't help but feel that we've done nothing but give them false hope by bringing them here in the first place.

Weekend in Austin

2007-09-09T20:21:00.001-05:00

Kali and Piper

Home from our weekend in Austin! We all had a great time at my company picnic. Kali and Carson both had so much fun playing in the water, both the pool and the lake. On our way home this afternoon, we met up with Rachel Elliott and her 3 sweetie pies. It was so good to see Piper again (we saw her in Addis when we visited the orphanage). Piper and Kali were in the same orphanage, but you know how kids are ... they don't remember much from last week let alone months ago. There didn't seem to be any recognition from either of them, but it was still nice for them to see each other. Even if they don't remember as time goes on, at least we can hope to keep them in touch as one link to their heritage.

Kali, Piper, Brodan, Camden & Carson with their Happy Meal toys

As you can see from the picture, the boys got along wonderfully! Happy Birthday, Brodan! And an early Happy Birthday to you too, Little Miss Piper Chaltu!!

Thoughts

2007-09-02T09:36:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about Kali's biological mother lately. We did not meet her when we went to Ethiopia to bring Kali home, and I am having regrets now. I just cannot imagine being in a position where I have to make such a decision, the decision to give up my child for adoption. I know she must think of Kali every day and wonder what has become of her. We know that she knows Kali has been adopted by Americans. We also know that she is allowed to go to the ministry office to view the post-placement reports when they come in. But I wonder if that is enough.

I was going through all of my referral emails the other day. I had kept everything in my inbox with the intent of printing everything one day. I came upon a referral picture of Kali that I had forgotten about. What a sight! She looks so pitiful and sad in this photo ... I am sure it was taken shortly after being relinquished by her mother, as the pain is so evident in her little face. And then I look at all the photos taken of her lately, like the one above. This is the Kali I want her mother to see ... the Kali who is now so happy. I want her mom to have peace with her decision. I wonder if a letter and pictures from us will help to bring her that peace, or if it will bring her more sadness. It is so hard for me to imagine being in her position, but if I were, I know that I would want to know about my child. And I am sure that Belay will be willing to deliver it for us too.

3 month report out of the way!

2007-08-29T20:29:00.000-05:00

Circus pics

Yesterday was the day for our 3 month post placement visit. Several people asked us if we were worried they would take Kali away from us ... NOT! All you have to do is watch this little girl run around here completely at ease with everything, smiling, laughing, dancing and you have your answer. The visit was only about 45 minutes long and she asked us the same kinds of questions the pediatrician asks when you take your kids in for their annual check-up ... is she eating ok, sleeping ok, how is her health, etc, etc, etc. Pretty easy-breezy. And if there was any worry at all, it all disappeared the minute Rick walked through the door. He got home about 10 minutes after the social worker arrived. Kali heard the front door open and looked at me asking, "Daddy?" I said yes, she hopped off the couch and ran to Rick screaming "Daddy!" with arms open wide. I promise you this was not staged!!!! She loves her daddy!

Sure can't wait for this upcoming 3 day weekend! I used up all of my sick/vacation time with the Ethiopia trip and after, and boy can I use an extra day off! And then the next weekend is my company's annual picnic in Austin. I am really excited this year, not only to show off my adorable kids to all of my friends from the other offices, but also because we will have the chance to meet up with the Elliott family and Piper over that weekend. Piper and Kali were in the same orphanage together, although Piper is a bit over a year younger than Kali. When we brought Kali home from Ethiopia and showed her pictures of Piper on the Elliott's blog, she knew her, saying, "Chaltu!" She doesn't remember her now when she sees her pictures, so maybe seeing her in person will jog her memory. I am just glad that we live close enough (about 2-1/2 hours) that the girls can get to know each other over the years, even if they can only get together a few times a year. It will be good for them to have that connection to each other as they get older.

And gotta make a few shout-outs ...

Landree began her teaching career this week as the new 6th grade math teacher here in Granbury! Woo hoo! She is exhausted right now, but she'll get used to it all and will be a great teacher!

Jordan is auditioning for a few upcoming musicals at Casa Manana next week. This will be his first "real" audition and all we can say is "break a leg!" If he gets anything at all, this will be the beginning of Equity acting.

Channing is still in India (he's been there since the beginning of June) and apparently loves it ... he just requested to stay on for another couple of months to help them finish the current job. Maybe he met a girl??? Carson misses him and can't wait for him to come home soon!

Happy Birthday!

2007-08-22T21:52:00.000-05:00

Kalkidan Faye-Sophia Page is 3 years old today!!!

I think I like all this attention! Birthdays are cool!

We finally have a normal little girl! No longer do we have a scared, confused child going through the pains of adoption transition ... who are you people? why should I have to listen to you? what am I doing here? you're not the boss of me! It's all gone! Kali has always been a sweet girl, full of hugs and kisses, but that change we've noticed over the past few weeks ... it's the acceptance of all of us as her family. Oh don't get me wrong ... she still wants everything to be hers and to have it all her way, but the defiance that came with it for the past few months is gone. I don't think I've seen the one shoulder "go jump off a bridge" shrug in several weeks. She knows we love her and we're pretty sure she loves us back ... at least she tells us that every night at bedtime!

And her hair is finally getting longer .....

My first attempt at Afro Puffs! I am sure there are African American women out there shaking their heads thinking, "what have you done to that poor child's head?", but Kali and I liked it! She couldn't stop staring at herself in the mirror and smiling!

The New Kali and The New Bedroom

2007-08-17T11:55:00.000-05:00

It's been a few weeks since my last update. Things have been busy around here. Last weekend, Kali attended her first birthday party. She and Carson had a great time (Happy Birthday, Aubrey!). We were a little worried about how she would act when it was present opening time ... she still thinks that everything is hers. She was very good, just sitting and watching the gift unwrapping ceremony without even as much as a pouty lip ... until Aubrey opened the gift that we brought. I hid the gift from both kids until the day of the party, but then I had to take it out to wrap it ... she saw it! Naturally, she thought it was hers. When this one was unwrapped, she jumped up and wanted to play with it. Aubrey's mom was kind enough to let the kids look at it and play with it a little, but then Kali seemed to want to take possession of it and we had to take her away from the toy. Surprisingly, there was a small amount of crying and then it was over! Wow! What a relief!

We decided to move both kids out of the cramped little 10 x 10 bedroom that they were sharing. Jordan had been in the bigger 12 x 17 bedroom, but since he is moving to Austin now (and has been in WI with his grandparents all summer anyway), it was time to give the 2 kids the bigger room and turn the smaller room into the guest/Jordan-when-he's-home-from-school room. I am a BIG fan of color on the walls. Remember that commercial (probably for Home Depot paint or something) where the husband and wife are standing in a white room and the wife looks around and asks, "What do these walls say to you?" and the husband replies "They say clean and fresh and white"? Then she comes back with something like, "They are saying that someone doesn't have an imagination!" I love that commercial! That is how I feel. I know that when we build our new house in a few years, I will have to paint the walls because we won't be able to afford a painter ... they like to come in with a big bucket of one color and spray the whole house the same color. I like every room to be different! Anyway, I digress ... I allowed Carson to choose the colors for the new room. Kali doesn't care ... she's just going to repeat whatever Carson says anyway. He chose pink and red ... yes, my sweet little 4 year old BOY chose pink (his favorite color right now) and red (his mommy's favorite color). I did everything I could to try to sway him to colors a little more genderly (is that a word?) neutral. He would not be swayed. So I bought pink and red ... at least I got to pick out the shades of these colors! I pondered on the colors for a while trying to determine what I was going to do with these colors. Their old room was green and blue stripes, yes painted. But I didn't want to go with stripes again ... been there done that! Then I saw a photo and it all snapped together! I added purple (thanks Mom!) to tie the two colors together and voila! New kids room!!

I am so proud of this room. It works for both a boy and a girl! Carson is really into "centers" because that is what the different play areas are called at daycare. Now their bedroom has a "play center" and a "reading center". And taking the bunkbeds apart was THE thing to do ... Kali has slept through the entire night from the first night in their new room. Maybe she doesn't feel so confined anymore ... she was sleeping on the lower bunk. And Carson loves hanging out in his "reading center" just looking at book after book. And then I had a great time picking out the new color and painting their old bedroom to make it a guest room. Rick told me, "You really didn't want to move them in here ... you just wanted an excuse to paint again!"

We have noticed a subtle change in Kali over the past few weeks. Things have gotten noticeably easier with her. Her defiance seems to be going away finally. Maybe she has finally accepted that we are her new parents and we are in charge?? Maybe she has finally decided that she likes this new family? Who knows, but she is definitely different. She still has her moments, but then so does Carson ... and he has a whole lot more moments than he ever had before now that he has some competition in the house! It's a good thing that the first followup home study is at 3 months and not 3 weeks ... I'm afraid they would have seen Kali sitting in time-out quite a bit! I guess they know what they are doing, waiting 3 months for things to settle. Time-out is quickly becoming what it should be ... the occasional discipline method, not the every 20 minute discipline method. Although, we're beginning to think that maybe she misses time-out. There are times when Kali just won't give up. When she gets mad and starts to pout, she usually wants to make sure you know that she's upset ... she'll kind of push something with a little "take that" grunt, or swat at something ... any little action to show us that she's ticked off. We try to give her a break and just tell her not to do that or show her something to steer her in a different direction. Distraction usually works well! But she just can't let it go. She just keeps pushing and pushing until she's done something that really warrants the time-out. I know that they say "negative attention is better then no attention at all", but this little girl receives LOTS of attention from both of us and her brother, and most of it is good. So why does she push you into forcing the time-out?

Oh well ... I guess once a diva, always a diva! I said it last night ... she is 100% sweetheart 99% of the time! She does two things now that just crack us up ... when she does something by herself, she is so proud of herself, says "I did it!" and gives you the open palm saying "High five!". And the other thing ... her new name is "Me too!" or "I do it myself!" These are her two new favorite sayings!!

Breakthrough!!

2007-08-05T19:52:00.000-05:00

Today when Kali woke up from her nap, she was playing with her baby and her puppy (it's really a stuffed cow, but she calls it puppy). After a bit, I noticed her in the time-out corner and she looked up at me and said, "Shhh ... baby time-out." I asked her what baby did to get into time-out and she took the baby's bottle and threw it saying, "Baby throw" and then she went to pick it up. A few minutes later it was puppy's turn to go to time-out. I asked again and this time was told, "Puppy hit" and then she made a hitting motion. She gets it!!!! She actually gets it!!!

The Faces of Kali

2007-08-04T15:56:00.000-05:00

The pouty look, all the rage this season!

It must seem to those reading that I zoom in on Kali's "dark side" more than I should. I know it sometimes seems that way to me too. But as I was painting this morning (redecorating the bigger bedroom to move both kids into), it suddenly hit me so clearly!

Yes, I read all the books about adoption, specifically adoption of toddlers. But books are just not the same as living it. I thought I was absorbing what I read, but apparently not. I know I've been too impatient with Kali at times, expecting her to act just like her brother does (or did when he was her age), but I keep forgetting one HUGE fact ... she has not been with us from birth. I know that sounds simplistic, but it so easy to forget that the kids who have been with you from the time they were born or shortly thereafter have had several years of YOUR teaching and YOUR way of doing things. Kali has been with us for 6 weeks ... ONLY 6 weeks. It is utterly ridiculous of us to expect her to behave any other way than how she does ... and yet, it is so easy to forget all of that.

I was speaking to someone I met a few weeks ago who has a 7 year old daughter. This woman's daughter was also adopted as a toddler. As this woman and I were talking, I was describing these "mad" things that Kali does ... the shooting-a-death-ray-through-your-face stare, the little one shoulder shrug, the I-hate-you-and-I'm-gonna-let-the-whole-neighborhood-know scream (and I don't mean crying, I mean SCREAM) ... this woman looked at me and told me that I had just described her daughter shortly after she had adopted her. Her daughter is a blonde haired, blue eyed little girl adopted domestically. Those traits that I thought were uniquely part of Kali's heritage, turns out they are just part of adoption.

It takes me a while, folks. This conversation was probably three weeks ago. So anyway, my epiphone while I was painting ... all of these "mad" traits are saying "Hey, I've already been dumped by one big person. I don't give a flying flip who you say you are ... you're gonna have to earn my love and respect and trust. Now let's see what you're gonna do with this!" Yes, I read this in one of those many books, but somehow it escaped me once we had Kali as part of our family.

The contented look, coming to a home near you soon!

We couldn't be happier or more thankful in our decision to adopt this beautiful little girl. She makes us laugh and smile all of the time. The other day, we had a little argument over a bean bag lizard. Kali kept calling it a "flot". I told her it was a lizard several times, even repeating it slowly so she could repeat me. Every time I said "liz -zard" slowly, she would look at me and just as slowly say "flo-ot". Who is the teacher here?! It hit me several hours later ... she was calling it a FROG! Told you it takes me a while! The "animal" sound she makes when you ask her what a certain animal says is hilarious ... its "waargh" (think loud growl!). Problem is, she thinks EVERY animal makes this sound other than a dog, a cat, and a flot .. oops, frog. She knows their sounds, but even a bunny goes "waargh" according to Kali. Every time she washes her hands, she holds up her soapy hands like paws with claws and yells "waargh" at you like a bear. These are the kinds of things that keep us in stitches with this kiddo.

Her giggle is the best sound in the world. There is something about it that just makes you want to laugh too. She is such a snuggle bug too ... when she wakes up, she wants you to hold her and she throws both arms around your neck, puts her head on your shoulder, and is perfectly content for several minutes. She mimics everything her brother does, even down to the goofy faces he likes to make. Right now, he loves it. I'm sure that some day, it will annoy the heck out of him and he'll be begging me to make her stop.

Kali can sing her ABC's all the way through and loves for you to sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" with her. Her favorite thing to say now is "Mommy, what you doin'?" And Carson is really Tahson!

So, the point is this ... even though Kali ends up in time-out at least 3-4 times a day (not what we were used to with Carson), that is only about 15-20 minutes out of the whole day. These minutes can be intense, but the rest of the day of sweetness and sunshine make up for all of it!!! The giggle I am hearing right now as she plays with her daddy ... it makes me smile and wish that everyone else could hear it too!

Not much to report

2007-08-02T18:29:00.000-05:00

I was asked to post more pictures so here they are. Kali and Carson played in the sprinkler yesterday, the poor man's swimming pool. Kali was a little hesitant to run through at first, but after watching her brother run through it quite a few times, she was not about to be second in Sprinkler Playing!

I am not sure we can really call Kali's time with us a "transition" anymore. She is part of our family and has blended in without any real problems. She came to us potty trained (though we do put a pull-up on her at night); she eats just about anything you put in front of her; she is sweet and loving and compassionate. What more could we ask for??

There is the continuing problem of the tantrums, which come and go. We thought the spitting was over, but she still spits at us when she gets REALLY mad ... and that REALLY mad usually comes with not getting what she wants. I think she has finally learned what the time-outs are for because she will turn and run from us now when she knows that she's done something to get in trouble, although it hasn't deterred her from the swatting, hitting, spitting, etc. Everything with time, right?

One funny thing ... she LOVES her clothes and getting dressed is the first thing she wants to do in the mornings when she wakes up. She has several pairs of shoes, but she has taken a keen interest in one pair ... her pink & white Nikes. Kali was with me when we bought these shoes, so somehow she has attached herself to these shoes with proprietary interest. She refuses to wear any other shoes and doesn't even like to take them off when it is bathtime.

She is all girl!!!

Birthday!!

2007-07-30T21:41:00.000-05:00

And the decision is .... August 22! Yes, after some discussion (thanks to my commenters who brought up a very good point that we had not considered before), we are going with the August birthday for Kali.

We were actually given two different birthdates ... 11/10/2004 (most likely the date she entered the orphanage with the pediatrician assigned birth year) and 08/22/2005 (the birthdate given by her mother during a later interview, but obviously the birth year is way wrong!). We had been using the November birthdate from the time we accepted Kali's referral. But the August birthdate is the one that is shown on her Ethiopian birth certificate and passport. We will change the birth year, of course, since she is so obviously not about to turn 2!!

So when we follow through with the re-adoption, we will officially give her a birth date of August 22, 2004.

My dear nephew Soren, I sure hope you don't mind sharing your birthdays with your new cousin!

This just in ...

2007-07-27T13:10:00.000-05:00

The daycare director asked me yesterday how I would feel about Kali moving up to the 3 year old room! It is that time of year when they move the kids up into new rooms and they had to make a decision about who to move up out of the 2 year old room. Out of all those kids (only about 8, but still ...), they chose Kali because they think she is ready! Even though English is not her first language, she already speaks English better than some of the other kids her own age ... they can actually understand what she is saying. They tell me that she is really learning well, that every day they can see a difference from the day before.

We do think she is a lot closer to 3 years old than we originally anticipated. We considered changing her birthday to something closer to now after watching her over the past month ... after all, a 2 year/5 month old is still further behind developmentally than a 2 year/11 month old, even though they are both technically 2 years old. But 10 years from now, will it really matter whether she turns 13 in August or in November?

But we did say this girl is smart, didn't we??

Transition to daycare

2007-07-24T21:21:00.000-05:00

Kali started daycare her 3rd week home with us. The original plan was for me to stay home with her for a month, but after we decided to host our three teenagers, the plan had to change. That was our first week with Aschalo, Genet and Yesalemush and it would have been much too difficult to try to entertain them AND have two toddlers in tow.

Day 1 - Kali waltzed into her new room at daycare without a care in the world. After all, she had been coming with me to drop off Carson, so what would be different this time? When it became apparent that I was going to be leaving her, that worried look appeared on her face. When the time came for me to actually leave, she wrapped both arms around my neck very tightly and pressed her open, screaming mouth to my cheek like she was trying to suck herself to me. It was heart-wrenching, to say the least! We kept waiting for that ominous phone call from the daycare asking us to come and pick her up, but luckily, this IS a daycare ... they are quite accustomed to children who don't want their mommies to leave. When I picked her up, she was a happy little camper having fun with the other kids and they told me that she had stopped crying before I even left the parking lot.

Day 2 - Kali again went happily into her room, unaware that this was day 2 of daycare. We had the same experience as day 1, but without the sucking action on my cheek. Again, happy as can be when I picked her up.

Day 3 - This time, she wasn't quite so happy about going to school. She recognized the building when we pulled up and started shaking her head 'no'. But today saw a great improvement ... she cried when I was handing her over to the teacher, but she went to the teacher willingly!

(No day 4 or 5 this week ... July 4th fell in the middle of the week and we kept both kids out on Friday to go to the soccer tournament as a family.)

Week 2 - Amazing! Kali still gets the pouty look on her face when taking her to her room ... a few wimpers here and there, but mostly she goes in and immediately begins to play.

Week 3 - Incredible! Kali has absolutely no problem going to daycare now. She heads on into her room and gives me a hug and kiss before I leave. She especially likes the mornings when we get there and the kids have not yet been broken off into their respective rooms. On these mornings, she gets to sit with Carson and watch a few minutes of a cartoon with him.

The teachers and the director keep telling us what a little love she is (like we don't already know that!), that she has not had any trouble adjusting at all. She plays with the kids, she eats her lunch, and she takes her nap just like the other kids in her class. And picking her up in the evenings now is the funniest ... she has a habit of hanging out and playing near the window when she sees that it is time for the mommies and daddies to pick up their kids. She plays, but always with an eye out that window. When she sees whichever of us is picking her up, she lets out this loud scream and runs into our arms, almost as if to say, "I can't believe it ... you came for me again!" But if we get her brother from his class first and he comes in with us, well, he is the recipient of that hug!

Back to our new family dynamic!

2007-07-22T19:09:00.000-05:00

She's not really hurt ... band aid on the forehead was a placebo!

Who would guess that this little girl has only been in the US with us for a little over a month! Kali understands 90% of what we say to her in English and she repeats things back to us like a little parrot. She has a vocabulary now of the following ... Mommy, Daddy, Carson, Landree, Watch me, Look at me, What you doin'?, Have go potty, Apple juice please, I'm sorry, thank you, I'm finished, and Bless you ... and she understands every bit of what she is saying. Oh yes, how could I forget her favorite word ... EAT!!

Kali has really come around to our way of life. She completely understands the concept of "if you want more of that to eat, you have to eat 2 bites of this first" and "if you want to do this, you have to do that first". The tantrums are much fewer now ... and I mean MUCH fewer. She is every bit the normal two year old (maybe three?) and we have to plan an extra 10-15 minutes for every task because she wants to do everything herself. She definitely has her own opinions about things ... you should see us trying to pick out what she is going to wear that day! Heaven help me if I pick out something she does not want to wear! Just like a girl, right?

Carson and Kali are so sweet to each other too. They are truly brother and sister, complete with arguments about who gets to play with toy #1 and "she got more than I did"! I think the next phrase we will make sure Kali understands is "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit" because right now, everything has to be completely equal. But they do take care of each other too. If Carson gets hurt, Kali is there immediately throwing her arms around his neck and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Today, Carson refused to do anything fun until Kali woke up from her nap. I asked him if he wanted to go swimming ... "ok, but I want Kali to come too." I asked him if he wanted to help me plant flowers ... "yes, but when Kali wakes up so she can help too". (Yes, planting flowers is fun for him, even in 95 degree heat!)

And it's only been a month ....

Teenager update

2007-07-18T21:34:00.000-05:00

Our kids are all safely back in Addis Ababa now, though we hope that it won't be for long. Here are some of my favorite pictures of each of these 3 wonderful kids.

Aschal0

Yesalemush

Genet with Carson

What more can I tell you about each of them? Our last day together was bittersweet. We took the kids bowling and, as expected, had a great time. After that, we headed to the hotel to meet up with the rest of the Bright Futures gang, had a wonderful Ethiopian meal prepared by the Kidmia folks from Arlington, and then it was time to say our good-byes. Yesalemush could not stop crying. Aschalo hugged us all and then turned his back to us, but kept hold of my hand the whole time his back was turned. Genet just hugged over and over again. It was heart wrenching! Our car felt strangely empty all the way home with only two kids in it. But we all knew from the beginning that this had to be. Now it is time to find them a permanent home.

So, here is a little more of the low-down on each of them.

Aschalo is very quiet, shy and reserved. He really opens up to you when he gets to know you better. As I mentioned before, he is extremely smart and studies a lot. He told me that at home, he often wakes up in the middle of the night to study because that is when things are quiet and he can concentrate. Once he gets to know you, he is very open about telling you when he doesn't understand you. And if you are not sure he understands and keep trying to say things a different way, he'll tell you, "I understand, I understand". Maybe that was just his way of getting me to shut up?? Of all of them, Aschalo was the most open to trying new foods, and he ended up developing a liking for Mexican food! He is such a sweet, gentle young man. He was quite fond of both Carson and Kali and would often pick them up to carry them. While we were at the zoo, Carson fell and Aschalo was the first one to him to pick him up and console him. He will make a great father someday.

Genet too is a little more on the shy, quiet side. Like her brother, she is also quite studious. After watching all of them for the two weeks, it appeared that Genet and Aschalo had the closer relationship of the three kids. More than likely it is because of their desire to learn and study. Genet loved our little kids. She would always play with them and be silly with them. She wants to be a pilot when she gets out of school, if that tells you anything about this girl's ambitions! She loves to play volleyball and basketball, and it was very easy to entice her into a game of one or the other in the yard. Genet would always try to be a part of the conversations, even if she didn't understand what was being said. She pays attention to everything and you can see it soaking in.

Yesalemush, Yesalemush ... our little artist. I can never remember which side of the brain is for the arts and which side is for the math and science, but whichever side the other two kids have, Yesalemush has the opposite. She has the most beautiful smile, which certainly goes with her beautiful face. Even though she knows the least amount of English, it doesn't stop her from trying to communicate with you, although it is normally in Amharic. One evening, Aschalo was telling me that Yesalemush does not like to learn, and I had to laugh and tell him that I had already figured that out. She is the "girly" girl ... loves to dress up and wear new clothes, play with fingernail polish, play with her hair, and she loves to be silly. I took them all to the book store and bought both girls some old novels (Nancy Drew, Little House on the Prairie type) and told them that reading would help them with their English. Yeslamush took the books grudgingly, but she had a lot more fun picking out VHS videos to take home ... she picked out a movie with Jason Priestly on the cover, and I don't think she picked it out because of the movie!

One would think that the language barrier would have been our biggest hurdle, but it turned out to be food. After trying many different things, especially the normal teenager fare, turns out that they all love fried chicken, fried fish, biscuits with honey for breakfast, and the Mexican food was growing on them. They do NOT like pancakes or waffles (thanks, Belay!), but turns out my dogs do! The girls each had half a waffle on their plates when I went to the kitchen for approximately 1 minute. I returned from the kitchen to 2 very clean plates, 2 smiling dogs, and 2 girls trying to pretend that they had eaten the waffles. Considering that it took them about 10 minutes to eat the first half of their waffles, I knew what had happened. And now we can't get the dogs to stop hanging out underneath the table while we eat!

Our deepest thanks to all of you out there who have added our blog to yours with regards to these kids! With everyone's help, we WILL find them a home.

A new beginning?????

2007-07-15T12:00:00.000-05:00

Last night during dinner, I was telling Aschalo, Genet & Yesalemush once again that we are working hard to find them a family. Carson said, "But we are a family. You don't have to find someone else because we are a family." These kids will always be part of our lives, no matter where they may live or who becomes their new family! We are tied to them forever! Carson has been very sad today, knowing that this is our last day with the kids. He told me again last night that he does not want them to go. When I told him that they had to go, he asked me if they will be coming back. We pray that one of you out there, reading this blog, will be bringing these kids home to America to begin their new lives!!

What else can I say about them? Saying "they are great" pales in comparison to our two weeks with them. They are so happy, vivacious, loving, and generous. We had such a good time last night looking at and printing all the pictures from the last two weeks. Some of our best laughs have come from trying to understand each other. Yesalemush just rambles to me in Amharic like I am supposed to know what she is saying, and I do the same to her in English. Then we laugh about it. Last night, she kept trying to ask me something and Aschalo was in the other room yelling something out in Amharic and laughing. He comes in the room and says, "Mommy, mommy ... listen to me. Don't listen to her. She is ..." I think he was going for "silly" but I interjected with "crazy" and they all burst into laughter. You know the hand signal for crazy ... point at your head and circle your finger round and round? Well, apparently that hand gesture is universal!

We are so blessed to have had these kids in our lives for these two very short weeks. They were a delight and we will miss them dearly. Aschalo is 16 years old already and will be 17 in December. Even though Ethiopia is a wonderful country and loves their children, the life he will go back to there, living in the boys orphanage, makes me very sad. We will pray every night that there is a family here in America or in Europe who wants to make these three precious kids part of their family. Will it be you?

Life in America for All!

2007-07-12T16:57:00.000-05:00

My great grandparents on my mother's side came to this country from Poland many years ago to make better lives for themselves and their children. It worked! My grandparents had great lives and five terrific kids. From those came 22 grandkids (of which I am one), and from there came 32 (or is it now 33? I lost track) great grandkids. Both of my grandparents have now passed away, but I know that they were proud of their family. We are so blessed by their parents' decision to pursue a life in this wonderful country! Kudos to my cousin Hilary for planning this year's 4th biennial Frank & Mary Mlynarczyk Family reunion in Brown County, Indiana! She went through a lot of hard work to bring our family together, and I am truly sorry that we are not able to attend this year. We pray that our time with our new Ethiopian "family" will bring these same types of results for these kids ... a new life in this country of opportunity and the chance to create a legacy!

Genet enjoying a cool Texas evening on the lake, about to experience her first S'more (she didn't like it, but she ate the chocolate!)

Yesalemush loves the water!

Aschalo thinking "Ah, this is the life!"

Carson and Kali

Our two weeks with our kids from Ethiopia have almost come to an end, and what a two weeks it has been! Last weekend, we attended the Ethiopian Sports Federation of North America's soccer tournament in Garland (Rachel, I am so sorry to hear about your "Vacation" type adventures on your way home, but you will look back some day and laugh!!). The clouds parted and it was a gloriously sunny, albeit HOT day! The kids thoroughly enjoyed the event and seeing some of their friends who are also with host families. We left the tournament and headed for Rick's sister's lakehouse on Cedar Creek Lake, and the kids were so animated and talkative all the way there. And what a fun time we had on Cedar Creek Lake! In addition to meeting Rick's wonderful family (you guys are the best - Sandra, Terry, Kaci, Bill & Sandy!!), they got to experience boat rides, swimming (or floating, depending on how you want to look at it) in the lake, jet ski rides, and good old Texas brisket! Genet stayed up late enough with us on Saturday evening to enjoy a campfire ... S'mores and fireworks across the lake included! We barely got Aschalo out of the lake, he loved it so much. Yes, he was quite "pruney" when he finally gave up the water.

On Sunday we headed back to Dallas to my sister's house where they met the Bruiser Brothers (my one year old twin nephews who already look like linebackers!) and their older almost-3 year old brother. We spent the day at the Arboretum and it was so nice ... there were very few people there and we had the place almost to ourselves. We took a tour of one of the homes on the property and the docent gave us the history of the house and the owners. Aschalo listened intently and would ask me a question every now and then. When we left the house, I asked him if he understood most of what she said and he said yes. His favorite room in the house was the library! He walked in and you could see the twinkle in his eye! Thanks for a great day, Jenny and Mark!

Monday was a quiet day spent at home in the morning and then seeing the movie "Evan Almighty" in the afternoon. Tuesday was the best! I took all 3 to Six Flags and they had the time of their lives. Unfortunately, I lost the SD chip from my camera in WalMart the evening before when I went in to order photos for the kids, so I did not have my camera with me. But if you could only see the photo taken while we were on the Texas Giant (yes, we bought the photo) ... you see smile, smile, smile, total terror! The smiling faces were mine, Aschalo, Genet and the terrorized one was Yesalemush. But what a trooper! Even though that roller coaster left her a bit queezy, she still wanted to go on every other ride with us. And it was Yesalemush herself who decided she wanted to ride on the Superman Tower of Power! I waited with the kids until we got to the front of the line, and then I quickly bowed out. I watched as they shot up into the air on the ride and could hear Yesalemush scream! Despite her screams of terror, she came down with the biggest smile on her face. She took my hand and pressed it to her heart and it was beating faster than Superman himself can fly. What a fantastic day!

Wednesday saw us load up in the car once more. These poor kids ... living 30 minutes from the nearest ANYTHING, I can only imagine what they are thinking every time we ask them if they are ready to go ... "Oh no, grab a book, it's going to be another long journey!" We drove to Denton to visit my other sister and her friends. Aschalo and Genet got to go fishing and both caught fairly sizeable fish. Thanks so very much to our gracious hosts, my sister Beth and her friends Jim and Maureen. Again, no photos from my camera, but I hope that Maureen will pass on to us the ones she took. Another long and great day followed by another long car ride home! We all slept very well last night.

Only a few more days and then Aschalo, Genet and Yesalemush head home to Ethiopia. They have told us more than once that they do not want to go home. Aschalo told me last night on the drive home that he loves Ethiopia, but he wants to leave and live in the U.S. The opportunities for all of them to further their education are boundless here! It is such a shame that we take these opportunities for granted. Oprah got it right when she opened her school in Africa where education is valued so highly. To many of our American kids, school is just another thing they have to endure until they can get out. Cell phones, video games, and new cars on their 16th birthdays are all things our kids think are their RIGHT! What about a good home, a loving family, and an education? Luxuries to some, taken for granted by others.

Dear Readers: Please pass this message on to everyone you know ... HELP US FIND A LOVING FAMILY AND HOME FOR THESE THREE WONDERFUL KIDS!!

Update to the "angie mommy" post

2007-07-05T22:32:00.000-05:00

Having Genet here with us, I found out what Kali was REALLY calling me during those first days here at home ... she wasn't calling me "angie", she was saying "anchi". Genet heard her say this yesterday and told me she was saying "you". So, when Kali first came into our family, she was running through the house yelling "hey you!" to me! I think I am disappointed ... I preferred thinking that it was a sweet little nickname she had come up with for me!!

Our Visiting Teenagers

2007-07-05T11:52:00.000-05:00

We understand why Ryan was so passionate about Aschalo, Genet, and Yesalemush! These are great kids!

We picked up our visitors from the Gladney Center on Sunday evening. As one can imagine, they were wiped out from the long trip. They all took showers when we returned home and went to bed, sleeping until late into the next morning. On Monday we took them shopping for clothes, shoes, and swim suits and had a great time. Kali was a little stand off-ish with them at first, as we expected. She is still pretty shy around new people and it takes a while for her to warm up to someone new. Carson, on the other hand, had no problem warming up to them. The first thing he asked when he woke up Monday morning was "Are the girls up yet?"

On Tuesday, Rick and Landree took them to the Museum of Science in Fort Worth, the planetarium, and the IMAX theater. They really liked the IMAX. Tuesday evening saw a rousing game of Monopoly Jr. between Genet, Yesalemush and Carson (I was the bank). Aschalo watched and caught on to the game instantly, explaining it to the two girls in Amharic. Mind you, this was Monopoly JR., not regular Monopoly ... the game went on for two hours! Genet was the first to go bankrupt and be out of the game, and it appeared that Carson had the game well in hand. We eventually had to take him to his bath, and so Genet jumped in and took his place in the game. Only when Carson came in to tell the girls goodnight did the game finally come to an end. No winner ... it was a draw!

Aschalo is very good with his English. As with most people who learn a foreign language, he understands more English than he speaks, though he speaks quite well. I told them that July 4th was a holiday and Aschalo asked me what kind of holiday. I explained to him that it was a celebration of our independence from England and he understood right away. He is an extemely bright young man who loves to read and study. It would be a complete loss to this world if Aschalo was not able to continue with an education, either in Ethiopia or here in America. He wants to be a chemist later in life. Rick continues to speak to Aschalo in his normal Texas twang and at his normal cadence. I told him to speak slower, but Aschalo and Rick seem to be able to communicate quite nicely without me trying to mess things up. Maybe I am being too patronizing by trying to speak slower and use words that I think they will understand more?

Genet is always smiling! She too is very bright (she loves math and bought a book on calculus at the bookstore) and will try very hard to communicate in English without having to rely on her brother to translate. I often find Genet thumbing through her very worn Amharic/English dictionary. They are all on the smaller side in terms of physical stature, but Genet is such a skinny little thing that we had to shop for her in the little girls department. She is so cute in her swimsuit! She actually picked out a bikini, which threw me for a loop. I thought for sure that both girls would pick out more modest one piece suits. I asked her if she was sure on the bikini and she was ... until yesterday when it came time to put it on to go to the pool. She came out of the bedroom with a top on over it and told me "I don't like my bikini." I told her that it was ok for her to swim with her shirt over it if she was uncomfortable. I even asked Aschalo to explain this to her when we got to the pool. I am not sure what he actually said to her in Amharic, but she whipped off that shirt and had no problem after that swimming in her new bikini. They all had a great time in the pool.

Yesalemush is the artist of the family. She loves art and dancing and is very affectionate. She is the one who is always holding my hand and wanting to give us hugs and kisses. She is the youngest of their family. Yesalemush had the best time shopping, taking one thing after another off the rack. She is the youngest of the family and speaks the least amount of English, but she knows the word "me" very well. Maybe coming from that position of "last child"?? We all know that the youngest is always the most spoiled! When we were shopping, she would pick something out and say "me" over and over. We were all walking into a new store and she asked the question "me?". I laughed and said, "Me me me... it's all about Yesalemush". I turned around to see Aschalo doubled over in laughter and saying, "Yes, true!" But really, she is a very sweet girl. She always wants to help me in the house with the dishes, vacuuming, anything. She and Genet are always the first to jump up from the dinner table to start clearing the dishes. We keep trying to tell them that they are on vacation and don't have to do this. But they want to feel helpful, so we finally gave in and let them help. As long as they know that they are not here to work, I think we're ok.

We had a good time on the 4th, going to the town square for all of the festivities including our small town parade. I keep my Amharic phrase book handy all the time, as there are a few words that Aschalo does not understand, like "parade". It certainly wasn't the Tournament of Roses Parade (which I WILL attend one day!), but it was nice. We had intended to take them to the fireworks last night, but they were all three in bed asleep by 8:00 pm! Maybe they are still on Ethiopian time.

Our abnormally wet Texas summer may end up putting a damper on many of the activities we had planned for our new friends. On Friday we will attend the Ethiopian Day festivities at the ESFNA (Ethiopian Sports Federation of North America) Soccer Tournament in Garland, and then it is off to Rick's sister's lake house for the weekend. If the weather cooperates, we will all be enjoying boating activities and more swimming!

About to have a house full!

2007-07-01T13:33:00.000-05:00

All is ready in the house for the arrival of our three new teenagers! My family had foreign exchange students when I was a kid, and this is pretty much the same thing except that they stay for a much shorter period of time and won't be attending school. We're a little apprehensive about communication, although we've met all three kids already and they do speak English a whole lot better than we speak Amharic.

The only real concern we have right now is how discipline is handled in the Ethiopian orphanages ... we forgot to ask! Not that we think we will have to discipline these kids ... not at all! We're worried about what they will think when they see us discipline Kali. The good thing is that Carson gets disciplined in the same manner, though not as often since he is now older and pretty much out of the tantrum stage. Time-out is our preferred method and it does seem to work quite well. The number of tantrums hasn't diminished, but the length and severity have definitely taken a turn for the better. Kali has learned that she doesn't get her way when she goes to time-out and we ignore her screams. However, the spitting ... this one is something that neither of us can tolerate at all. Kali spit at me yesterday and she just spit at Rick today right before naptime. I will say right now that neither of us is opposed to spanking. I am sure this will get some comments, but we revealed this in our home study and Gladney still approved us. Anyway, the spankings are reserved for the most serious offenses and when it is extemely important to impress upon the kids the seriousness of said offense. Time-out is what we use the most often. But the spitting gets the spank. Most of the time, she is being put into time-out anyway for something when she gets mad enough to spit at us. I am not sure she understands a time-out on top of a time-out for the spitting, especially with the language barrier.

So, the point of all of this is that I hope these kids don't go home to Ethiopia thinking that we are terrible people and that we are so mean to our kids!

Has the other shoe dropped?

2007-06-27T19:22:00.000-05:00

Just so that everyone doesn't think everything around here is sunshine and lollipops ...

When Kali is happy and smiling, she is the sweetest thing in the world. She loves to give hugs and kisses and she and Carson continue to have a great time together. It's just so hard, though, trying to determine whether Kali's meltdowns are just part of normal two year old-dom or if they have quite a bit to do with her past. Having 3 older kids and a 4 year old, we do know what normal toddler life is like, and pushing the boundaries is right up that alley. But I wonder how much that little mind is working ... is she consciously thinking "I am going to be as bad as I can to see if you still love me or if you will put me in an orphanage too"? Honestly, she hasn't been bad. The normal tantrums of screaming and crying when she doesn't get her way are easily handled with a time-out. These tantrums are definitely normal toddler. But lately she has taken to swatting and hitting us, and yesterday she actually spit at me when she couldn't have any more juice (too close to bedtime). I have heard that the kids spit at each other in the orphanage as a way to express their anger ... maybe just something she learned there?

Yesterday was by far her worst day yet. She was extremely upset when I left the house for work (Landree is staying home with her this week) and threw her worst tantrum yet. She threw another one when it was naptime, which she has never done before. Normally, nap and bedtimes are pretty tame. She is normally very agreeable to going to sleep, but not yesterday. She continued to have tantrums through the afternoon and last night ... WHEW! She kept asking for juice too close to bedtime and I continued to tell her no. She took a swat at me, I took her hands, told her "no hitting" and she proceeded to scream. I put her in time-out and continued to read the bedtime story to Carson. 2 minutes later, she was over it and on my lap listening to the story. After the lights went out, she asked for juice several more times before I left the room, always pouting when I told her no. 30 minutes after being put down for bed, she came out of the bedroom. We walked her back in there and she began screaming. Her normal tantrums last anywhere from 30 seconds to 3 minutes ... this one lasted 30 minutes! I went in to her several times over this time period to try to comfort her, but to no avail. Finally, after 30 minutes of screaming, I just crawled in bed with her and she immediately stopped crying, threw her arm over my neck, and fell asleep. This morning she woke up and remembered none of it, as children will do, and was our happy little Kalkidan.

Today had it's share of tantrums, but overall, much better than yesterday.

So where is that fine line between normal toddler behavior and exhibiting behavior related to being given up by your mother, living in an orphanage for 7 months, and then being taken to a foreign land by complete strangers?

One specific note about toddler transition ... it seems the majority of Kali's pouting sessions result directly from being told something is not hers. She has gone from an environment where nothing was truly hers, to a hotel with us where we brought everything for her alone, and now to a home where some is hers, some is her brother's, some is ours, etc. She gets so excited, jumping up and down and giggling, when you tell her something is hers, even food. When she asks if something is for her and you tell her no, the bottom lip comes out and she stands back and glares. If you try to touch her during one of her pouts, it quickly escalates into a full blown screaming tantrum. She is in a brand new world and hasn't yet been able to determine that not everything is for her.

Kali, we will ALWAYS love you and never put you back in an orphanage! I know you don't know that right now, but I know you will figure it out soon! I don't mean to make this sound as if she is always in the throws of tantrums, because she is not. Most of the time all is peaceful and happy in our home. This is mainly information and queries for others who may be adopting toddlers or who have already adopted toddlers.

Brother & Sister

2007-06-23T09:31:00.000-05:00

The sound of children's laughter in this house is so wonderful! It has certainly been good for Kali's transition having Carson here. They have the best time together, running through the house, dancing to music (THAT is the cutest thing ever! Finally got some video of them dancing!), attempting to play baseball, just sitting at the table eating. As long as we keep taking our vitamins, Rick and I should be able to keep up with them without trouble ... with the occasional afternoon nap to rejuvenate these old bones.

I think the Gladney pediatrician in Addis got it right with Kalkidan's age ... just watching her interact with her brother, she is every bit the two year old, soaking up everything she sees, wanting to do everything by herself, always wanting to help (why doesn't that helping stage continue into the teen years?). But sometimes you can look into her eyes and see that she is an old soul ... she has a wisdom about her that transcends her two years. And it isn't sadness ... haven't seen a trace of sadness in Kali since our time in the hotel in Addis. Of course she pouts sometimes, but that is not the same as true sadness. She is just wise ... feisty and wise! Add to that her beauty and laughter and watch out world for Kalkidan Page!!!

Transition???

2007-06-20T12:09:00.000-05:00

On the long plane ride home last Thursday, as I was trying to get over my anxiety about the possibility of hearing Kali scream bloody murder on a packed plane, I was formulating the title of my next blog entry. As I squirmed in my seat every time Kali looked ready to pout, watched one mom follow her 15 month old son up and down the aisle, watched another woman running back and forth to the bathroom with an 8 month old having a terrible bout of diarrhea, I couldn't help but think of our new friends from New Jersey, sitting toward the back of the plane, who were on their way home with their two daughters, ages 13 and 10 (the 10 year old being the newest arrival into their family). I saw the title of my blog so clearly ... "Infant vs. toddler ... go for the 10 year old!" I was jealous that they got to sleep and read and watch movies, and their daughters sat quietly behind them sleeping, reading, watching movies too. What a way to travel!

Well, we are home now. Travel is no longer the only issue at hand. All of my anxiety and questions about what we had gotten ourselves into from last week have vanished. I can't wait for Ryan and Abby to see Kali now! I wish Belay could see her too, but I think he will be in New York with some of the campers and not coming to Dallas/Fort Worth. There is nothing more precious than listening to this little girl giggle and laugh! She is a delight, even if she does insist upon waking up at 5 a.m.! Boy, had we gotten spoiled with Carson, who is quite the late sleeper and will sleep until 8 or 9, even on weekends. Oh well ... if I can just make her stay in bed until 6, we'll be ok.

Kali already adores her big brother, although it's pretty funny to hear her yell at him in her combination of Amharic and two year old babble! And Carson is starting to come around too. The newness of it all started to wear thin about 2 hours into Kali being here with us when he announced to me that he wished he had a baby brother instead. The other evening at dinner, Landree and I were sitting across the table from Carson and Kali. I mentioned (quietly, or so I thought) that Kali's head is bigger than Carson's. Carson looked at us both with hurt in his eyes and said "I want my head to be bigger," and promptly burst into tears. It broke my heart! But all was redeemed today when we took him to daycare. Some of the kids from Carson's class were gathered around the door to his room when we came in. One of them saw Kali and cooed "Hi, baby!" Carson puffed up and told him, "Her name isn't baby, it's Kali, and she is my baby sister. She isn't yours, she's mine!" Ahhh ... just what a mother wants to hear!!

Kali LOVES "Itsy Bitsy Spider". She will put her fingers together as a sign for me to do the hand movements and sing the song. You can hear her trying to sing the words with me as she too tries all the hand gestures. She is just too cute for words! Nothing warms my heart more than when I see my children smile and laugh, and both Kali and Carson are doing a whole bunch of that!

Maybe the other shoe hasn't fallen yet, but I am beginning to wonder "what transition?"

Life is good again!

2007-06-18T15:00:00.000-05:00

Don't you think she bears a certain resemblance to that famous golfer? Must be the hat!

Yes, Kali is quite the Diva!

Sharing powdered sugar donuts for breakfast.

Grilled cheese and cheetos for lunch ... yum!

It really does feel so good to be home and back to normalcy! Kali is just the sweetest little doll. I think she knows this is her home now and that we are her family. She has no problem running from room to room to see what is going on ... unless the dogs are in that room! Need to find the words in Amharic to let her know that the dogs will not hurt her. We keep petting them and Carson gives them hugs to show her that they won't hurt us, but she is still very much afraid.

Carson and Kali are doing well together. Of course, we've experienced the sibling jealousy and rivalry already, but not too badly. As many toys as we have in this house, Carson only wants to play with Kali's toys when she is playing with them. He had no interest in them during her 6 hour nap on Saturday until she woke up and started playing with them herself. We fully expected this. But Carson is still a good big brother. He loves to act silly to make her laugh, and she does laugh all the time. He put his music on in their bedroom yesterday and they were both dancing and twirling around ... never a video camera around when you need one! It was so cute and they had such a good time. Kali likes to do whatever Carson is doing, so we had to talk to him already about being a good example. We both need to make sure that we set aside time to hang out with Carson one on one too. I feel that Carson may end up having the more difficult transition! But so far, so good.

What a love this little girl is! She loves to give and receive hugs, and now she likes to grab my face and give kisses. To say that she is comfortable with us is a major understatement. I am pretty sure she has decided that she loves us ... which works out perfectly, considering we love her too!

So good to be home ... Part II

2007-06-17T16:26:00.000-05:00

Cowgirl Kali ... she fits right in here in Texas!

Happy Father's Day. Daddy!

Ok, so more about the meltdowns. We're thinking that Ryan and Belay may have told us a little fib when they told us how quiet and shy Kali is. I am sure that I should feel good about her meltdowns, because this means she is comfortable with us. If she weren't comfortable, she would still be too frightened to show any spunk. I just forgot what having a two year old is like, that's all. She doesn't like to be told "no", like any normal two year old. She wants her way, like any normal two year old. I would have to say, she is definitely a normal two year old! She actually did ok on the long plane ride, with only a few minor crying bouts ... quickly resolved with a piece of candy. Now the airport in D.C., that's a different story. We actually had to go look for a terminal that had very few people so that we could let her cry it out. It's awfully difficult to entertain a rambunctious two year old when one has had only about 3 hours sleep in 24 hours. Somehow we managed to get through it all!

Yesterday was pretty much a catch up day, trying to get our sleep and our time schedule back together. Kali came in the house and had no trouble at all finding her way around. She and Carson are doing well together. The major problem for now is that she is deathly afraid of our two dogs. As long as they are outside, she has no problem going up to the glass door to see them. So, we are trying to keep them locked in our bedroom for now behind a baby gate. We take her over to the gate every now and then to see them from a safe vantage point. It will come with time.

Today has been a good day! We all seem to be back on a regular schedule, exhaustion is gone, I got to vacuum the house (with two indoor dogs, it is a never ending job!), and even went to the grocery store. I feel normal again! Kali was great today, playing with Carson, doing everything he did. Not one tantrum today, which is great! We are working on her English ... every time she says "ow", we correct her to "yes" and she repeats. She has taken to calling me "angie" (pronounce the "a" in "father") and we have no idea what that means. We keep trying to correct that to "mommy", so now she calls me "angie mommy". It's pretty cute, so we'll leave it at that for now.

I hope that all you daddys out there have a wonderful Father's Day!

So good to be home!

2007-06-17T08:17:00.000-05:00

Our 7 days of computer use at the Hilton ended Wednesday evening, and since that day was so full, we did not have time to update the blog before all hell broke loose!

Kali is definitely comfortable with us and we were reminded that we do indeed have a 2 year old ... her first meltdown came Wednesday evening in the hotel room. Let me tell you, this little girl has some lungs on her!! It was so loud that one of the hotel housekeepers knocked on the door to ask if all was ok. She took Kali in her arms, and I don't know what sweet nothings she said to her, but it stopped the crying instantly. Then the bag of candy she gave Kali didn't hurt either.

On Thursday, she had at least 3 meltdowns before naptime, mainly because she does not like to hear us tell her "no". I hope the social workers aren't reading this, but I must admit that I too had a major meltdown after that, wondering what we had done! How did we get into this and why weren't we happy with just our current family of 4 kids? Honestly, though, I had those same questions right after Carson was born when I was getting up every 4 hours through the night with him. Must mean that I am human, right?

I was so anxious about the plane ride home ... 16 hours on one plane, 8 hour layover in D.C., and then another 3 hour plane ride to DFW. I couldn't eat, I was making myself sick with worry. It must have been an anxiety attack. What if she had more meltdowns on that plane? Her scream is so high and shrill, we couldn't just let her cry it out in such small quarters. We had the Bendryl ready (she really did have quite the runny nose the whole week too, so it was legitimate) and pockets full of candy for bribes.

Well, we made it home and were so relieved to get off that plane at DFW! Dorothy had it right with "there's no place like home".

More to come about the experience later ... she's awake now.

Tuesday in Addis ..

2007-06-12T11:26:00.000-05:00

View from the Hilton ...

from our room ...

...from the other side of the hotel

Sometimes we feel so insulated here at the hotel. It is clear that the hotel caters to the Western World and the affluent and we forget what is right outside our little world here. But still, when you go out into the city, there is beauty everywhere. I know I've used the word "beautiful" a lot and maybe it's lost a little of its meaning through so much use, but these people truly are beautiful.

Lucy!!

Today we visited the National Museum. It was great! We had our own tour guide through the museum and he was so helpful. We pretty much got a history lesson of Ethiopia from its origin through today and it was inspiring. I think everyone would be amazed to find out that many events and people we have heard of throughout history are Ethiopian.

After that we had lunch at the best Italian restaurant in the world, according to NPR, Castelli's. It was indeed excellent. It was started and is still run by the same Italian family. Many a famous person has dined here, as evidenced by the photo gallery on the wall. By the way, pizza is BIG here. Even the German restaurant yesterday had pizza on the menu.

Tonight was the best! We got the Ethiopian experience dining at a restaurant called Fasika. They served the traditional Ethiopian food and the entertainment was awesome! You should see how these people can dance. I think I know where the "popping and locking" done in hip hop came from. And of course, I left the video camera in the room! It's just too hard to explain it through mere pictures. Maybe Bob and Arlene will make a copy of their video for us? And Belay ... that man can move!!!

Tip for the day ... 10%. The normal tipping amount here is about 10%. However, don't be confused at the hotels. They tack on a 10% service charge to every tab, but it is NOT the tip. Still a good idea to leave additional 10% for your server.

I think we will all be seeing these dances in our dreams tonight. Wish you all you could see them too!

Monday morning in Addis...

2007-06-10T22:27:00.000-05:00

I'll bet you're wondering what happened to Sunday morning in Addis. Well, the internet cable doesn't reach to the bed or the bathroom! Yes, I had to eat my words! I never have trouble with heartburn, indigestion, acid reflux like Rick does. His stomach is much more sensitive than mine so I just assumed that if anyone was going to get sick here it would be him. So sorry, my dear! He is such a good dad. He spent the whole day with Kali and let me rest! I feel much better today, thank goodness. It's still a few more days before we leave, but I can't imagine having to deal with that on the plane! The worst part was the terrible gas pains. I haven't had gas pains like that since my c-section with Carson 4 years ago! I think I'll take it slow today ...

What a pretty girl!

Kali and I bonded Saturday night over the simplest of girly things ... hair! One of my co-workers bought her a little clear plastic Dora purse with scrunchies, barrettes, and brush/mirror in it. I gave it to her and we had the best time! She actually talked to me the whole time. Of course, I have no idea what she was saying since it was all in Amharic, but I think we understood each other perfectly. It's a girl thing!

What a difference 4 days make. She runs around the hotel room now just picking up whichever toy she wants to play with. Yesterday she was turning in circles making herself dizzy. She likes to turn on and off the light switch for the bathroom and she wants to flush the toilet herself now too. We can get her to smile now without having to tickle her, which is a big plus. She did have a small crying bout yesterday, just quietly to herself. I'm sure she is still a bit unsure, she misses her friend from the orphanage, and I'm sure she still remembers some of her mother. It was sad, but we just held her and rocked her until she felt better.

She is beginning to understand a little English. I no longer have to ask her if she has to go potty in Amharic and she understands juice. I am sure it will be no time at all before she starts speaking to us in a few words of English, especially once we get her home to be with her chatterbox brother Carson.

Kali is still quite shy with other people, though, no matter if they are Ethiopian or white. Many people will come up to her and talk to her, especially in the restaurants, but she just stares straight ahead and won't make eye contact, but gives the occasional head bob saying "yes". We're just glad that she is opening up to us and feeling more comfortable.

Tip for the day ... photos of the palace and embassies are not allowed! Basically, if it has a wall around it and looks somewhat official, don't take a picture.

Second tip (since I missed yesterday) ... if Gladney is your adoption agency, be very happy! If you are still trying to decide on which one to choose, choose Gladney. They take such very good care of us. We've met several other Americans here adopting through other adoption agencies. One lady is here with her 19 year old daughter. They had to come for the court date, but the mother did not show up, so now it has been delayed and they have to stay here for 2-3 more weeks! She said that it was already delayed once, as they were supposed to come in April and had to make changes to their plane tickets when there was a delay. Another lady missed her appointment at the embassy (one of the photo taking problems) and has to stay an additional week for this Wednesday. Neither of these women have drivers, but have to rely on the taxis around here. I know how frustrating it is if your court date does not go as expected, but trust me when I say that it is much better for you to wait at home than to have to wait here for any length of time. And how nice that Gladney tells you NOT to make your travel arrangements until after you hear about the court date. The drivers too are the best! Gladney takes excellent care of the children here and the parents. Thank you Gladney!!!

We just watched the final quarter of game 2 of NBA finals (go Spurs!). Remember, 8 hours ahead here. We've found the BBC version of Sesame Street now too. I think TV will help her learn English too. I think that's what helped Dirk (Mavs).

It's off to do some souvenir shopping today!

Saturday morning in Addis ...

2007-06-08T22:25:00.000-05:00

See, a laptop is good for something here ... Cinderella DVD watching!

It is a little past 6 a.m. Both Rick and I are awake. Can't seem to sleep past 6 lately. The sun comes up pretty early here. Morning Call to Prayer has begun outside our hotel window. It is a calming, peaceful sound. We originally thought it was the Muslim prayer, but Ryan told us it could be the Orthodox church as well, as they have a loudspeaker for doing the same thing.

Today we are on our own. It's Ryan and Abby's day off. We can't believe they have enough time to do all that they do ... hold the hands of all of us waiting parents-to-be back at home, tourist guide for those of us who have come for our children, child advocates for these children with both governments, teach English to the kids in the orphanages, AND they have 2 beautiful children to spend time with. I don't know how they do it all and stay sane! They are both incredible people with hearts of gold!

We have good news!!! We managed to fit 3 teenagers into our suitcases to bring home with us ... sort of. After discussing things with Ryan, turns out it was too late at the time of my plea for anyone to ask to host the kids for Bright Futures Camp due to the time it takes to do background checks, complete Gladney paperwork, etc. We asked Ryan if people who are already in the adoption program with completed paperwork would qualify. Well, you guessed it. Rick and I will be home to Aschalo and his two sisters for two weeks beginning July 1st! We visited the orphange yesterday where all three kids live. We met Yesalemu ... what a beautiful girl! She is the youngest of the 3 at age 14. Belay made the announcement yesterday at the orphanage telling them which kids are getting to come to America. Then he told them that we would be hosting Yesalemu and her siblings. She was one huge smile, jumped up and hugged us both multiple times, told us "I love you"!! Belay gave us a tour of the orphanage, and Yesalemu held one of each of our hands the whole time. She was so proud to show us where she slept. We are both thrilled to be doing this! After seeing these kids, how could we not do this? They are incredible! We were not able to meet Aschalo and Genet as they were taking exams for the end of the school year. We left the photo album we had made for Kali with Yesalemu so she could show her brother and sister.

Now, here is the most important part!!! We are hosting these kids in hopes of finding them forever homes. Please please PLEASE tell all of your friends and family about them, tell your church congregation, tell the check out lady and bag boy at the grocery store ... we need everyone's help in finding these kids a home.

We will be home with Kali for two weeks before these kids arrive. I plan on keeping up the blog with photos and info during their stay in hopes of letting everyone know about these kids.

To my wonderful co-workers in Granbury, bosses down in Austin, and agents all over Texas ... looks like I won't be returning to work until mid July. Hope you all can forgive me. I love the insurance business (yes, really!), but some things just have to take precedence. Rick will also take some vacation from work and we plan on doing a lot of things with these kids. Nothing too big ... don't want to overwhelm them.

It's off to the pool today and just relaxing at the Hilton. Thought about going to see Lucy, but we already gave our driver the day off. We'll see how Kali likes the pool. Her eating habits continue to be great ... last night she wolfed down fish and chips (french fries) and loved my creamy potato leek soup (it was VERY good, how could she not like it?). So far, we've had no problems with food at all. Everything has been very tasty and neither of us are having any stomach troubles. Oh sorry ... I was supposed to say how bad the food is so that everyone will bring lots of American food and snacks and then leave all the leftovers (and that would be most of it once they discover that the food is indeed edible and good) with Ryan. That's his devious plan, anyway!!

Still Friday ...

2007-06-08T06:15:00.001-05:00

What a beautiful smile!

We found her tickle spot.

Playing soccer at the orphange.

Relaxing at the orphange.

Playing a singing & dancing game.

They all want their photo taken.

Abby, Kali, Rosa, Selam & Marta

This just couldn't wait until tomorrow. What a beautiful country! The first few days here, the poverty just presses in on you and can be so overwhelming, to the point of missing the beauty of the people and the land. This morning we visited a local coffee shop that had the most wonderful coffee and pastries. Rick tried the coffee ... big step for him! I finished his and mine. Then it was off to the first orphanage, the one that Kali was in. It was very small, in what would be a private home for someone if the orphanage was not in it. We interrupted school time when we arrived. The younger ones were learning their Amharic alphabet with one little boy pointing to the letters on a chart on the wall and the others repeating what he said. The older children were practicing writing in their notebooks in both Amharic and English and doing very well! The orphanage director showed us around the house, which was very small but surprisingly cool. We both assumed that the weather here would be pretty hot with it being so close to the equator. But it has been so pleasant, to the point of needing a sweater in the mornings and evenings. The houses are built with very thick walls so it keeps the interior very cool. We were a little worried that Kali might think we were taking her back there and leaving her. She was her stoic little self the whole time we were there, even when all of the other kids came up to her and gave her kisses on the cheek.

We then went to the next orphanage where most of the pics above were taken. These kids are adorable! They all want to have their pictures taken and then see them on the cameras. Oh what digital has done for the world. Ryan and Abby pointed out some of the kids who are coming to the Bright Futures camp this year and some who came last year. All of the kids are just so happy!! It is quite clear that they are loved and cared for very well. We then went inside to see the babies. Even though they were all in a room that was row after row of cribs, these babies are loved! They make good eye contact with you and smile so big. They are so beautiful! We went back outside and watched the kids play a game where they stand in a circle and sing a song. One child is in the middle skipping around the inside of the circle. Toward the end of the song, that child will stop, do a little dance where he or she wiggles the hips and each shoulder goes up and down alternately, then she places her hand over her eyes, turns around pointing. When the song stops, whoever she is pointing to is the next one in the circle. It was so much fun watching them. They smile and laugh and the little dance, it is too cute!!

After that, it was off to lunch. Just driving through the city is quite an experience. First of all, there are no rules to the driving. There are lines on the road, but they don't matter. Everyone drives where they want to on the road. There are pedestrians walking in the street and the cars come so close to them. I have seen only 2 traffic lights, but maybe red means go here?? We saw one stop sign that was completely ignored by Eyasu ... not even a rolling stop! Yet, despite all of this, we feel completely safe. We have not seen one car accident. Ryan said that in his time here, he's seen only one. Maybe our problem is that we have too many rules? For every car on the road (and there are many!!!) you will see 20 people walking. Even when we went to the foster home yesterday, which is further out of the city, there are lots of people walking along side and on the road. You see the boys herding their sheep (they look like goats to me, but Ryan corrected me) through the middle of the busy city, or the man with his team of mules carrying wood. At the coffee shop today, right outside was a man selling (I assume) chickens. They were still alive, but their feet were all bundled together so they couldn't move more than their heads. And the people ... you see men walking together all the time with their arms around each other's shoulders, or women walking holding hands. It doesn't mean anything other than friendship. It gives you such a warm feeling watching this and makes you wonder what happened to us in the good ol' US of A. How did we become so homophobic??

Today has been a really good day. It takes a few days being here before you can see past the poverty to the love and goodness of a country that holds its history with such pride. These are truly good people!!

And Kali finally came out of her shell!! After Rosa scooped her up for most of the morning (Rosa is a heart breaking story that I would love to share with all in hopes of finding her a good family, but I am not sure how much info I am at liberty to give) and took very good care of her, she began going to all the girls when they held out their arms to her. And then Rosa and Stephanie discovered the tickle spots at lunch!! What a moment!! Kali's smile just lights up her face and it was fantastic to finally see it! I felt like we've been in that Royal Caribbean commercial where the mother is trying to find the smile she knows exists on her daughter's face.

An interesting side note ... we came out of the foster home yesterday and Eyasu showed us the mirror from the drivers' side mirror. I mean he was holding the mirror itself. Ryan told us that it is quite common for someone to steal the mirror off of your car here and then sell it to some place for quick cash. There is only one place that buys these, so if you want your mirror back, you have to go there and buy it back for about 300 birr. What a racket! He told us a story of how one of their drivers came out from somewhere and noticed his missing. He drove straight to that place and saw the guy who took it walking up to the place! He stopped him and the guy just laughed, knowing that he'd been caught. He offered to sell it back to the driver for 100 birr. The driver offered him 30 birr to just put it back on the car for him, which was accepted!! 30 birr is around $3!

Tip of the day ... both the Sheraton and the Hilton have hair dryers mounted on the wall in the bathroom. One less thing that you can pack and more room for humanitarian aid!

And finally, a few things that Abby and Ryan miss from the states (don't forget that they are from Texas) ... salsa, taco seasoning, Krispy Kreme donuts, Dr. Pepper (that one may be too hard to get through security since it is a liquid after all ... unless you put 3 oz of it in a plastic bottle and then into a quart size zip lock baggie!)

Rest time now (Kali is taking her afternoon nap) and then on to another orphanage this afternoon.

Friday in Addis Ababa

2007-06-07T23:28:00.000-05:00

I promise to have pictures tomorrow. We have been riding through the city a lot with our driver, Eyasu (I'm not sure how to spell his name, but I think this is close). He is very nice, but a bit on the shy side. It's kind of hard to take pictures with a little girl on your lap! But today we will be visiting the orphanages, so many photo opportunities. Not to mention, we let Ryan borrow our camera to take some pics of the kids for their parents and he took it home to upload them to his computer. So, for some of you with babies at the foster home, you may be getting some pics from Mary soon!!

Thursday was a good day for Kali. She is slowly coming out of her shell. She seems to have become quite attached to us. Yesterday we had lunch with Ryan, Marta, Bob & Arlene (from New Jersey) and their daughters, Stephanie and Selam. After we finished eating, Marta came over and tried to take Kali from me to play with her and the other girls. Kali would not let go of my chair! She wouldn't go with her and kept looking at me with those big brown eyes almost pleading for me to pick her back up again. I wish she understood that Marta was not really taking her from me. But then we did go outside the restaurant to takes some pictures and she let Stephanie hold her. Before lunch, we had the mandatory doctor's visit (no shots, just a check over) and then on to the embassy for the mandatory blood draw. I can't believe how Kali did with that. She sat on the tech's lap while the nurse prepared to draw her blood. The tech kept turning her head toward him so that she couldn't see what was about to happen, but she would have none of it! She wanted to see and she did. She watched the whole thing and never uttered a peep. She was most curious of the band-aid they put on afterward.

Kali has eaten everything we have offered her. We have to be careful though, because she will keep eating if we give it to her. She won't stop or let us know somehow that she is full. And she won't take the food off the plate yet, either. She won't take it until we offer it to her. She loves apple juice! Watch out Carson, she may give you a run for your money in the apple juice drinking department! We keep getting conflicting information on whether she will drink milk or not. We have had two different people tell us that not much milk is drunk after they finish taking formula (other than the milk put in coffee), and two other people tells us "Yes they do!". I suppose we'll just try it and see if it is something she can keep down.

Getting in and out of the car a lot yesterday must have worn Kali out. She fell asleep around 5:30 in the evening and wouldn't wake up when Rick tried to wake her at 7:30 to have dinner. It was room service last night! She woke up around 1:00, went potty, and then fell back asleep and woke at 6:00 this morning. I know this is all a little overwhelming for her!

The people here have been wonderful. Ryan told us that most people here are very happy that we come here to love their children and want to give them good homes. It makes us both feel so good about our decision. I can't imagine going somewhere where we are not wanted.

One more quick tip for the traveler ... call your credit card company to let them know you are here using your card. We are lucky and have Landree at home and she got the call from our credit card fraud department wanting to know if these Ethiopia charges were legitimate. Also, there is an ATM at both the Hilton and the Sheraton, just in case you bring old $100's like we did that can't be exchanged!

On to the orphanages today and more updates (with pics) tomorrow! I wonder how many of these kids will fit in our suitcase on the way home??

Bright Futures Camp

2007-06-06T22:46:00.000-05:00

This is a plea from Ethiopia to check out the kids still needing a host family for the Bright Futures Camp!! Go to the Gladney home page and click on the link for the camp to bring up the photos and information on the children still needing host families. We talked with Ryan yesterday about these kids. He now has the unpleasant task of telling these kids that they won't be coming to America this year. He said that they will be disappointed, but know that they can try again next year ... except for the 16 year old boy. He and his two sisters are the first picture shown. Ryan said that this boy is amazing, that he is so gentle and works so hard, just a great kid. Unfortunately, if he is not adopted this year, his time will run out as he soon turns 17. PLEASE if you know anyone who would be interested in hosting this sibling group of 3, please ask them to contact Gladney immediately. Gladney's hope is that the host family is also interested in adopting the children they are hosting, but if all you can do is host and help to find them a family, that works too!! Of course, all of these kids need host families, but this group especially.

We have both been up since about 4:00 a.m. unable to sleep. I am sure it will cacth up to us later today. Maybe it has something to do with a kig bed not being big enough for 2 adults and a small 2 year old? We have Carson all over again! I can tell she is more comfortable ... yesterday during nap time, Kali fell asleep and woke up in the exact same position ... face up, arms straight by her side, eyes on the ceiling. Through the night, I awoke several times with feet in my face, only later to wake up with her head in my chest and her feet in Rick's face! She too woke up around 5:30 am and was giggling and slapping at Rick's arm ... until she really woke up and remembered who we are and where she is. I cannot wait until we get our first smile out of her! She is so beautiful and I know that smile will just light up her face.

And finally, we can post to our blog from here, but we cannot view it. If anyone has any specific questions they need answers for, please send me an email through our profile. I cannot see the comments until we return home.

Off to breakfast!!

We are here!

2007-06-06T13:59:00.000-05:00

Welcome to beautiful Ethiopia!

All that stuff Gladney tells you over and over about being patient and flexible? Remember it, although in our case, there was nobody to blame by Mother Nature. Our 4:30 flight from DFW to Dulles did not leave DFW until 9:30 pm due to two, TWO thunderstorms that passed right over DFW. So our well thought out plan to go straight to Ethiopian Air to check the bags through went right out the window. Nothing in the airport is open when you arrive at 12:45 am! And after just 4 hours of sleep in a hotel, we were off to Ethiopia. Ethiopian Airline was just fine, no problems at all. We did stop in Rome for about 45 minutes to refuel and get a new crew and then off again. We arrived around 8:30 am and met up with another couple from New Jersey, and then out to waiting Ryan and Marta. The visa line was not long at all, but they still write out everything by hand here, so it just takes a little bit to get processed.

We were at the hotel by 10:45 and we had Kalkidan by 12:30! She is so cute, but so unsure about what is happening and quiet. She wouldn't even respond to Belay, who seems to have such a rapport with these kids. But here we are at the end of the day, ready to go to sleep, and she has greatly relaxed. She took a nap with us, has eaten everything we have offered her, allowed us to bathe her and brush her teeth, and loves to wrap her arms around your neck and snuggle. She is one smart little girl too! All you have to do is show her once and she's got it. We've put together a puzzle, doodled and erased on the doodle pro, and she was throwing the ball back and forth with Rick and almost smiling! She sings quietly to her baby doll that we brought for her and likes to cover her up with the little blanket. Those girl genes ...

Two things of interest for those traveling here soon ...

1) There is internet connection in the hotel rooms at the Hilton if you want to bring your laptop. It runs $18 per day, or you can pay $12 per hour if you use the business center.

2) Gladney states that bringing $100 bills that are 2001 and newer is "preferrable" ... NOT. It is a MUST! We took the word "preferrable" for what it is and didn't think it would be that big of a deal. The bank here at the hotel won't take the 90's at all, and our driver took us to a different currency exchange that will take 1996 or newer, but the exchange rate is less for the 90's versus the 2000's.

It's off to the doctor tomorrow morning for Kali's last visit and then on to the Embassy to drop off the paperwork. Should be a busy day!

By the way, the total of our 4 pieces of checked luggage ... 200.5 pounds! Yes, we did it and got through!!

Kalekidan, Mommy and Daddy are on their way!

2007-06-04T12:46:00.000-05:00

And we're off!!

Watch for us in Ethiopia!!!

Countdown!

2007-06-03T11:32:00.000-05:00

Time for one last load of laundry before packing, one last trip to the grocery store for Landree and Carson, and tomorrow we're off!!

We finally told Carson a few days ago that he wasn't going with us. There were a few small protests, but he seems to be accepting it well now. I think what did it was when I told him that if he went with us, he'd have to get more shots ... the memory of five shots at his 4 year check-up was still front and foremost in his mind! We'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow is like too. He's only 4, so the concept of time is still being worked out in his ever expanding little brain. He probably thinks that we'll only be gone a day or so. I'll have to get him a calendar and have Landree help him mark off the days until we return with his baby sister.

It is going to be so hard leaving Carson behind for 12 days. He is such a sweetheart and just the light of our lives. There is nothing better in the world than when he cuddles up next to me and runs his hand down my cheek saying "You're pretty, mommy. I love you." Being a parent has its ups and downs, but the ups are so great so that you can throw all the downs you want at me and I'll still take parenthood!

I must admit that Carson is very much a mommy's boy ... he absolutely must sit next to me when we go out to eat; if Daddy tries to read him his book at night (normally my job), he won't have it; if I give him his bath (normally Rick's job), well that one is ok. So, as I was lying down next to him one night last week to read him his nightly 2 books, I asked him how we were going to do this when Kali comes. We have bunk beds for them and Carson sleeps on the top bunk. I normally lie down next to him to read him his books. I asked him if I was going to have to lie down with Kali on the bottom bunk to read her a book too. Oh, he has this all figured out! I will continue to read him his book, and Daddy gets to read Kali her book. I asked him about going out to dinner ... he will continue to sit next to me and Kali will sit next to Daddy. Basically, he's decided that he belongs to me and Kali is Daddy's! Not sure how this is going to work when we get home and I stay home with Kali while he goes to daycare!! Well, at least we have him calling her Kali now and not Katie, as he insisted on for so long!

And speaking of daycare, I have a plan and I hope it works. I want Carson and Kali to have time together to bond, but I don't want Carson to lose touch with his routine of going to school. And I definitely don't want Kali to think that I am not coming back for her when I leave her at daycare ... flashbacks to being relinquished at an orphanage. I will be taking a "maternity leave" when we return and I plan on continuing Carson in daycare at least 3 days a week. In addition to keeping somewhat of a schedule for Carson, my hope is that Kali will see that we bring him home each evening after dropping him off there, so that she will understand that we will do the same for her when the day comes that she starts daycare. All the experts seem to agree that daycare is actually good for the child who has been in an orphanage, but my heart would just break if she thought that Mommy leaving her was happening all over again!

So, how about all this rain!!! I can't believe that I am leaving my house for 2 weeks in June and I probably won't have to worry about someone watering my plants. Are we really still in Texas??

Some travels stink!

2007-06-02T20:22:00.000-05:00

Poor Channing ... he was sent back to India again. He really had a good experience with his first trip to India, even asking to stay longer and be transferred to a different job. I suppose it's true what they say ... be careful what you wish for! This time, not so good. He is in a different part of India this go round and communication seems to be a problem. He is working with some fellas from Russia and some from India. None of them speak English, and Channing doesn't speak Russian or Hindi. Guess sign language will be the order of the month! He seems to be in an area where getting out of the hotel and wandering about is not advisable for safety reasons, and the food ... well, not sure what he has been eating, but we do know that he dined on prawns almost every night during his first trip and couldn't understand why his buddy in another part of India kept complaining about the food. Maybe this is that "other part" of India?? But we really are so proud of him, opening up his world to all of these new experiences. He has become so independent and someday he will look back on all of these experiences and remember them fondly.

And Rick and I were just talking about how we never imagined that someday we would be traveling to Ethiopia!

I keep thinking about the clothes I want to take and trying to whittle the list down ... it looks like things will be cooler there than it is now in steamy Texas ... yea!!!

Day after tomorrow!!!

Day after tomorrow ...

Another suitcase?

2007-06-01T21:46:00.000-05:00

Well, in our best efforts to get all things packed to take to Ethiopia, we completely forgot about the souvenirs we will be bringing home with us. Hmmm ... wondering if I should unpack one of the boxes and repack into a 3rd suitcase so that we have an empty souvenir suitcase ... something to ponder over the weekend.

If Gladney offers another Ethiopia training seminar anytime in the near future, GO TO IT! It was very informative and we met the nicest women who are both originally from Ethiopia. One of the pieces of information given was that most of the Christians in Ethiopia are Orthodox Christian. I must admit that I have never known what "orthodox" really meant when referring to the church, so it got me thinking and I looked it up on the web when we got home. I was raised in the Catholic church and Rick was raised in the Baptist church. Seems our little girl's faith will be closer to a Catholic upbringing than Baptist ... wonder if that means I will convince Rick to try a Catholic mass again??

Two more days ...

Three days and counting ...

2007-05-31T20:39:00.000-05:00

I work with the best people in the world! Today was my last full day of work before our travels begin and my co-workers threw me a surprise shower today! It was truly unexpected and so wonderful of them. There are only 13 of us in my office, but with everything Kali received today from just these people, she won't have to wear the same outfit twice this summer! Since we bought Dora for her bed, Dora was the theme of the day. Kali is going to come home from Ethiopia seeing Dora and Boots in her sleep!

In addition to the shower, I received numerous phone calls and emails from the great agents we work with sending lots of good wishes and congratulations. I am sure they all knew that I was desperately trying to get my desk clean before leaving for a month because I had very few work related emails. I was able to get very close to my goal of leaving a clean desk. Just an hour or two on Saturday and I can leave on Monday with a clean conscience.

Mary has confirmed for us that we are allowed 2 bags of luggage each and, yes, the humanitatian aid counts as luggage. Rather than trying to pack everything in 4 suitcases, we will use 2 suitcases for clothes, etc, and we bought a couple of 18x18x16 boxes from the UPS store to pack the humanitarian aid. We have right at 49 pounds of diapers, formula, wipes and candy (wonder if the candy counts as humanitarian aid) in each box! I did inquire about shipping this to Ethiopia ahead of time, but Mary said that shipping is not advisable (hmmm ... wonder how many people ask about shipping and how many times they have to answer this question ... maybe they should just go ahead and put it in the Ethiopia travel packet up front). We arrive in DC Monday night and our plan is to go straight to the Ethiopian Air counter to check the bags right away, even though our flight isn't until the next morning. After all, I believe the airlines allow you to check in 24 hours in advance now. If you can check in from your home computer before even getting to the airport, surely they will allow us to check in the night before so that we don't have to lug all that stuff to the DC hotel with us.

We can't believe that this is finally upon us! To borrow from another blog, it is now Ethiopia or bust!!

Gifts Anyone??

2007-05-26T12:30:00.000-05:00

Does anyone have good gift ideas for the caregivers?? We are beginning the shopping sprees to get everything ready for the trip. We have the humanitarian aid (I think I read somewhere that this does not count as luggage, since it appears that we are limited to one piece of checked luggage each ... can anyone confirm that?) and have the beginnings of a list. It appears that only the babies are transferred to the foster home prior to our arrival, so I am assuming that Kali will remain in her orphanage until we get there. I am actually glad of that, as I think the fewer moves she has to upset her life, the better. Anyway, the point of that little side bit is that I don't think we will even be meeting the caregivers at the foster home ... maybe. Maybe we should just bring a whole bunch of things for everyone. How many people would that be exactly? What about those of you who have met Belay ... anything in particular that you can suggest as a gift for him? So many things to keep thinking about!

Since Kali is older and we don't have to pack all the normal baby things that take up so much room (I remember the days of traveling with the mongo size bag of diapers that takes up an entire half of a suitcase!!), I hope to have some extra room for extra gifts. We should be able to pack all of Rick's things in one suitcase and then mine and Kali's things in another (yes, Rick needs his own suitcase ... I know I'll hear from him about that one!). Another sideline ... Rick has washed and is folding the clothes we bought for her right now ... it's one of those "oh, look at this ... how cute ... can't wait to see it on her" moments. After a few more dozen washings, that feeling wears off and it just becomes more laundry!

Would love to hear from those of you who have been there with ideas! Anything in particular that they all seemed to like that we can take more of? I've already got Starbursts and Peanut Butter Cups on the list for Ryan and Abby (thanks for the hint, Mary)!

She's Ours!!!

2007-05-23T18:04:00.000-05:00

Fantastic news!! Mary called and our adoption of Kali was approved by the Ethiopian courts! She is officially ours! And the shots weren't so bad either.

We received a very nice surprise yesterday with new pictures of Kali. We just can't believe how incredibly cute she is, and her eyes are the best! Between staring at her picture all day, the pain in my arms (we got our travel shots this morning), and the great news from Mary, I found it very difficult to concentrate at work today. Rick and I are both so anxious to get there.

We officially booked our flights on Ethiopian Air and decided on the Hilton in Addis. We will be leaving June 4th!! The Sheraton looks amazingly luxurious, but we just couldn't justify it. Too bad that we didn't have the Bottomly's luck of the Hilton being completely booked already ... woulda been nice!! But where we stay ultimately doesn't matter nearly as much as getting there and bringing our daughter home!

As for the shots today, we both opted for the Hep A, Typhoid, Yellow Fever, and the Tdap (tetanus, diptheria & pertussis ... yes, pertussis!) I went ahead and had the Hep B done two weeks ago by my own doc, thinking I would get whatever I could out of the way here in town, thereby avoiding TOO many shots at one time. The nurse just kept asking over and over again why I got that one ... was I planning on working around blood or bodily fluids? Don't know what was up with her, considering both Gladney and CDC recommend Hep B as well. After the nurse's reaction to my Hep B shot, Rick opted out. Anyway, for anyone who is curious on how much $ to plan for on the shots, these 4 cost $450 total for both of us. The Tdap was a little more than just the straight tetanus shot. The meningitis is over $100 per shot, just in case you're planning on getting that one too.

Something tells me that these next two weeks will be loooooooong .....

Out of the mouths of babes ...

2007-05-22T13:10:00.000-05:00

Further to my comments about raising a toddler ...

Yesterday when I picked Carson up from daycare, he asked me if he had a Nana. I explained to him that "Nana" is just another name for Grandmother and that he indeed has 2 nanas, but he calls them Grandma and Meme. Then he asked me if I am a nana. Thankfully, I was able to tell him no, not yet, that neither Landree, Channing, nor Jordan were married or had children yet. Carson responds, "But I am married to you and Daddy", at which I could only chuckle and respond "If you say so". (We've been through this before, trying to explain what being married is, and he just won't accept that he isn't married to me and Daddy.) Then the sweetest, most heart-tugging question ... "When you become a nana, will I have to find a new Mommy?" I tried to assure him many times over that I would ALWAYS AND FOREVER be his mommy, even if I do become a nana. Then he started whimpering ... "I don't want you to be a nana, or Daddy to be a grandpa either." I really hated to tell him (this goes out to Lori & Ted, another Ethiopian blog) ... people already think we ARE a nana and a grandpa ... to him!! And I thought we still looked so young ...

The 3 Big Questions ... And Answers

2007-05-20T19:55:00.000-05:00

Time to address a few more specific questions about our adoption decision ...

1) Why did we decide to adopt at all? For those of you who know us, you know our "yours, mine & ours" family. Landree and Channing are Rick's two from his first marriage, Jordan is mine, and Carson is ours. After raising Jordan as an only child and fielding his many questions about when he was going to have brothers and sisters, and then seeing how very close Landree and Channing are as sister and brother, we knew that we didn't want Carson to be an only child. With the huge age difference between him and the other three, for all practical purposes he would have been raised as an only child. I suppose we could have tried to have another of our own, but we decided to adopt for a few reasons ... the main reason came from watching Carson. He is such a smart, loving, confident child and we know that much of this comes from him knowing how much he is loved. It is such a tragedy that there are so many children in the world who don't have that feeling of being loved, and we wanted to give a child that same feeling that we hope all of our children have. That, and I didn't want to have to go through pregnancy at age 40+!!

2) Why did we choose a toddler? Carson was 3 years old when we decided to pursue adoption and we knew that he would be 4 or close to it by the time we had our new little girl. We wanted both children to be close in age, but not so close that they would be in the same grade in school. And we wanted Carson to be the older brother, keeping the birth order. So we asked for a little girl between the ages of 1 and 3. As time went on, we somehow just began preparing our lives for a child closer to 3 ... buying bunkbeds?? Maybe it had something to do with dealing with a 3 year old at the time? I know that bringing a toddler home will present a totally different set of issues than bringing home an infant ... midnight cries instead of midnight feedings, teaching English instead of just teaching to speak, etc. And we are prepared for all of that. I was communicating recently with another parent who adopted a toddler and she mentioned how her child is finally beginning to feel more comfortable exploring the house. This brought a smile to my face because I remember when Carson became mobile ... I distinctly remember when he too began to feel more comfortable going into other rooms by himself without Mommy or Daddy being in there with him. And then it occurred to me that many of the transition problems/fears that scared us to begin with are normal things that even biological children experience. Besides, there is something so enchanting about watching a toddler develop and grow. Babies are sweet and adorable, but toddlers ... every single day, it is something new and wonderful. If you have never watched a toddler discover something new for the first time and try to figure it out, you just don't know what you are missing. And then when they start to talk, they will say something you had no idea they knew and say it at the right time in the right context ...it will just blow you away! Toddlers are little people in the making and they are truly amazing to watch!

3) Why did we choose Ethiopia? This is the easiest one to answer. Because of our ages, we discovered that we could not adopt domestically and get the toddler age that we wanted. We chose Gladney before we chose the country, so that certainly narrowed down our list of possible countries from which to adopt. We knew that we didn't want to wait 2+ years (China) or have to make several trips (Eastern Europe). We briefly considered the Latin countries because of the Latin influence in Texas. We thought it would be much easier to keep our daughter's culture alive for her being in Texas. But ultimately, we decided on Ethiopia. I don't know that there was any one real reason why we chose Ethiopia, but since race was not an issue to either of us, it was certainly never out of the picture. My sister spent time in Africa in the Peace Corps, and her experience there also helped to influence our decision. Rick started looking up all kinds of information on Ethiopia after we made our decision, and it only reinforced our decision. Then Landree gave me the book There Is No Me Without You for my birthday last year, and I couldn't wait to get there. What a wonderful, historic, proud country! We couldn't be more excited that our Kali will have such a rich heritage! And all of the blogs that we have been reading ever since do nothing but make us anxious to meet these remarkable people!

Shots ... arghh!!

2007-05-16T19:27:00.000-05:00

I keep telling myself that if my 4 year old can handle getting 5 shots at his 4 year check up, I can certainly handle them as well! I strongly suggest that you begin getting your shots as soon as you get your referral or know that your paperwork is in Ethiopia. I looked up the recommended shots on the CDC website (very informative, by the way), and they recommend getting your shots 4-6 weeks before traveling. But they also go on to say that you really are not fully immunized form Hepatitis-B until after your 3rd booster ... 7 months after getting the first one!

Living in our itty bitty town, we have to go to the Public Health Department in Fort Worth. Apparently, they stay pretty busy because when I called to make the appointment for Rick and I to get the shots, they couldn't get us in for 2 weeks. And according to the lady who made the appointment for us, she advised getting the shots at an absolute minimum of 2 weeks before we arrive in Ethiopia. After reviewing the immunization info provided by CDC, I understand why. They advise that you are fully protected from Hepatitis-A 30 days after inoculation, but that you have a good, high level of the antibodies after only 2 weeks.

As it turns out, our appointment date is the same as our court date, so we may be crying and smiling all at the same time!!

I cannot wait for Mary to return from Ethiopia. I really want to know if she was able to see Kali and give her the photo album and gift we sent for her.

Almost time for American Idol ... gotta run!

Happy Mother's Day!!

2007-05-13T09:57:00.000-05:00

What a glorious day for Mother's Day!! Here in north central Texas, the sun is shining and the weather is probably in the low 70's ... perfect for breakfast on the patio! For all of the mothers who are in Ethiopia right now with your new children, I know this is the best Mother's Day present you will ever get! My own sweet boy, Carson, just couldn't wait to wake me up and show me the cool music-playing Batman card that he personally picked out for me! He was so proud! Last night, my other sweet boy, Jordan, and I spent the evening having dinner and seeing the Ft Worth Symphony's performance of Beethoven's 9th, one of my favorites. I saw the sparkle in his eyes when the chorus kicked in and I knew that he would have given anything to be up there on stage singing with them! I hope he is able to get back into a choir when he gets to St. Edwards in August. It has been a year now since he was part of any choir and I know he misses it dearly.

To all the mothers I know, have a perfect Mother's Day with your children and treasure them always!!

Answering some questions

2007-05-11T19:34:00.000-05:00

So, I have been getting some questions from friends and family and thought I might try to answer some things here ...

Everyone wants to know if Kali speaks English. My best answer is "I don't know". If I had to guess, I would say no. Amharic is the official language of Ethiopia, though we've been told that English is widely spoken and understood there too. Doesn't that just seem to be the case with so much of the world anyway?? At the age of 2-1/2, her verbal skills are still "under construction" as it is, so I'm not sure there is much of anything she speaks that anyone other than a mother would understand. For those of you who have toddlers or who have ever had a toddler, you'll understand that one! We will learn a few necessary phrases in Amharic just to be on the safe side. Ok, I say "we", I mean "I". Rick has a hard enough time with English (can you say nuclear? ... inside joke!).

The other question I keep getting is whether I have decorated the nursery yet. What nursery?? She is 2-1/2 years old! Actually, we decided some time ago, long before we even knew who she was, that she would share a room with Carson. I had considered moving them both into the bigger of the two secondary bedrooms, but then Jordan moved home. Believe me, he and his electronic toys and all of his clothes take up that room nicely! We bought bunk beds last year in anticipation of Kali. I don't know what we would have done had Gladney chosen a 1 year old for us ... there is no room in that bedroom for a crib! Anyway, Carson is in love with Dora and Diego and asked for a Diego bed for several months before his birthday. I just hope Kali isn't too freaked out by the giant Dora head that is on her bed! Maybe she'll also learn Spanish from sleeping on Dora!

Last week I made up a small photo album showing our family for Kali. Mary (the Ethiopian coordinator for Gladney) was leaving for Ethiopia today and she offered to take the photo album for me. I wanted Kali to have a glimpse of her new family prior to our arrival so that we are not complete strangers to her. I also enclosed a small stuffed animal for her so that she would have something of her own that she could take with her when she leaves the orphanage. Had I been thinking properly, I would have slept with the stuffed animal before sending it. I know it sounds silly, but when Carson started daycare after 3 months at home with me, I wanted him to feel safe and comfortable there; so I slept for several nights with the blanket that would go with him to daycare, hoping that it would soak up some scent of Mommy for him. The silly things Mommys do for their children!
I have been reading Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft and I must say that it is scaring me just a bit. It is a very good book and gives a lot of good information. But it also gives worst case scenarios, and they are a bit worrisome. This is such a hard age for adoption .. the child is old enough to know that something different is happening but not really old enough to know what it is. I know we will go through some rough patches, but my deepest hope is that this huge adjustment is not too terrifying for Kali. The book does give very good information on how to help your child attach to you and to allow for the grieving process as well. We have been told that the Ethiopian orphanges are filled with very loving caregivers for these children, and that is a giant plus in aiding Kali's transition. All of the blogs that we have been following certainly reinforce this information. I particularly love the beautiful montage of photos set to music on the "Elizabeth Alem" blog. You made both of us cry!

I know that the most difficult part of our journey ahead will be leaving behind all of the beautiful children who so desperately want a forever home. I know that my sweet husband will shed a few tears over this!

In the beginning ...

2007-05-09T19:00:00.000-05:00

I wish I had started this blog last year when we made the decision to adopt. The best I can do is try to recap our experiences over the past year. After reading other blogs regarding international adoption, especially those adoptions from Ethiopia, I want to try to give information for matters on which I really had questions/thoughts.

Rick and I began this journey in April 2006 when we decided to complete our family with a little girl through adoption. After investigating the different options, we found that international adoption was the only route for us, and for various reasons, we chose Ethiopia. Thus the mountain of paperwork began!! It took several months of gathering all the items needed to complete our Gladney application, CIS application, and the foreign dossier. We actually got through everything fairly quickly and thought we were on track for a trip to Ethiopia by the end of 2006. Due to a small delay with CIS, we did not get final approval from Immigration until the middle of February, so our visions of an Ethiopian Christmas didn't pan out. But the best thing still happened ... I sent our official approval form from CIS to Mary at Gladney on a Friday in February. Three days later on Monday, Mary called me. I thought she was only going to tell me that she received my envelope, but she went on ... she had a referral for us! Needless to say, I was completely shocked! We had been told that things happen quickly in the Ethiopian program, but this was beyond quick! The only reason I can think of that expedited this for us is because we had requested a toddler. We wanted a little girl who is younger than, but close to Carson's age of 4. And we got her! We were introduced to beautiful little Kalekidan Yoseph through photos and medical information. It took less than 24 hours for us to reply to Mary that we knew she was ours! Her name means "promise" in Amharic, which is absolutely perfect. We decided to keep Kalekidan as her first name and we will call her Kali (think Gov Schwarzenegger trying to say California!) for short.

We were still in the authentication process at this point and the next round of delays began! After reordering birth certificates (apparently the "original" I had ordered for Rick was not truly an original), sending another copy of my birth certificate to the Secretary of State of Indiana (they lost the first one), and lots of overnight Fedex-ing, we got the word that our paperwork was now in the capable hands of Belay in Ethiopia.

Last Wednesday night, my ESP kicked in ... I had a dream about holding Kali and kissing her sweet face. Thursday afternoon Mary called with the good news that we have a court date of May 23rd! We flew off to Chicago for Landree's graduation from Wheaton College with this great news and we were able to thoroughly enjoy the weekend!

So, we are now at the point where we have to decide on an airline and a room in Addis. Gladney recommends both Ethiopian Air and Emirates Air. Price is comparable on both. Channing recently flew Emirates from India to London and said the airline was fantastic. But, I think we are leaning toward Ethiopian Air for the pure fact that there are no layovers anywhere. It appears to be a direct flight from Washington to Addis with one stop for refueling. Emirates has 2 layovers there and 2 on the way back. That is too much deplaning for me when you have a small child with you! We will post later to give more insight into Ethiopian Air. As for hotels, I was worried about Kali making another move from the orphanage to the Gladney foster home. I was even more worried about her stress level when these two strangers come in and whisk her off to a hotel to stay with them, away from her comfort zone. Abby has assured us that the transition for Kali should go well. She also said that the hotels are quite near Kali's orphange so we would be close to her old "home". We are relying on her, and I think we will choose the Hilton. Again, additional posts to come later.