More breakthroughs ...

The Tatoo Twins

Kali is definitely going to be a surgeon when she grows up ... she insists upon washing her hands all the way up to the elbow!

Breakthrough #1:

Kali always wanted to have exactly what Carson had, whether it was something to eat, a toy, anything. We know that most of this came from not knowing the language, so she would just say the same thing Carson would say. The other part of this mix, though, was thinking that she was missing out on something great if she didn't get exactly what her brother did. In the past few weeks, Kali actually asked for something different for breakfast than what Carson was having! I know this sounds trivial, but we really thought that this was a good milestone! Not only does she understand the language better and is figuring out what she likes and dislikes, she is starting to separate herself from Carson!

Breakthrough #2:

And another milestone in the language department ... as part of our bedtime routine, I read the kids two books every night right before bedtime. Carson had been picking out the books because Kali wouldn't sit down to listen anyway. She didn't understand what I was saying, so why should she sit and listen? She was allowed to play in the room while I read, but she couldn't leave the room. Now Carson picks out one book and Kali picks out one book ... and she actually sits and listens to the book! She likes to turn the pages for the most part, but while waiting to turn the page, she listens to the story and will even make comments when she hears something she recognizes!

Little things that mean so much to us as parents!

Teenager Update

Remember them? Oh how I wish I had good news to report. Sadly, our joy in having Kali as part of our lives is often overshadowed by the heartbreak that these children still do not have a forever family. We received letters today from Genet and Yesalemush. This is the second set of letters that we have received from them since their return to Ethiopia in mid July. These new letters are even more heartwrenching than the first set. The girls are so sweet and mention everyone by name, even remembering that Kali was going to have a birthday and wishing her a Happy Birthday. But their sadness at not having a family is so painful to read. Yesalemush writes, "Please try and be fast the paper and try to be fast to pick me out from Ethiopia to USA."

We thought the children knew that we were not adopting them, that we were truly just a host family for them for their stay here in Texas. But then, at the end of their time here, we found out that ALL the children were told that their "families" were only host families, even those whose families were already committed to adopting them. And then they also saw that most of the kids from last year's camp were indeed adopted. So what are they supposed to think? Of course they think that we are adopting them! How are we now supposed to tell them that we are not in a position to adopt them?

Even if there is a family out there who is meant to have these children, we know that the process takes time. But we can't help but feel that we've done nothing but give them false hope by bringing them here in the first place.

Weekend in Austin

Kali and Piper

Home from our weekend in Austin! We all had a great time at my company picnic. Kali and Carson both had so much fun playing in the water, both the pool and the lake. On our way home this afternoon, we met up with Rachel Elliott and her 3 sweetie pies. It was so good to see Piper again (we saw her in Addis when we visited the orphanage). Piper and Kali were in the same orphanage, but you know how kids are ... they don't remember much from last week let alone months ago. There didn't seem to be any recognition from either of them, but it was still nice for them to see each other. Even if they don't remember as time goes on, at least we can hope to keep them in touch as one link to their heritage.

Kali, Piper, Brodan, Camden & Carson with their Happy Meal toys

As you can see from the picture, the boys got along wonderfully! Happy Birthday, Brodan! And an early Happy Birthday to you too, Little Miss Piper Chaltu!!

Thoughts

I've been thinking a lot about Kali's biological mother lately. We did not meet her when we went to Ethiopia to bring Kali home, and I am having regrets now. I just cannot imagine being in a position where I have to make such a decision, the decision to give up my child for adoption. I know she must think of Kali every day and wonder what has become of her. We know that she knows Kali has been adopted by Americans. We also know that she is allowed to go to the ministry office to view the post-placement reports when they come in. But I wonder if that is enough.

I was going through all of my referral emails the other day. I had kept everything in my inbox with the intent of printing everything one day. I came upon a referral picture of Kali that I had forgotten about. What a sight! She looks so pitiful and sad in this photo ... I am sure it was taken shortly after being relinquished by her mother, as the pain is so evident in her little face. And then I look at all the photos taken of her lately, like the one above. This is the Kali I want her mother to see ... the Kali who is now so happy. I want her mom to have peace with her decision. I wonder if a letter and pictures from us will help to bring her that peace, or if it will bring her more sadness. It is so hard for me to imagine being in her position, but if I were, I know that I would want to know about my child. And I am sure that Belay will be willing to deliver it for us too.