Goodbye

Well, it is time to put the blog to rest. It's clear that I don't have time to keep it updated, considering it's been two months since my last post. A lot has happened since my last post ...

We celebrated our one year anniversary of "Gotcha Day". Kali has changed so much since we first saw her, yet she is still the feisty little girl who can hold her own with any rough and tumble boy.

Our 3 oldest kids are scattered all over the world ... Channing is still in China, but we hope to have him home soon; Landree spent six weeks in England and feels as if she will be back there again soon; Jordan is in his 5th week of Navy boot camp at Great Lakes, IL and will be graduating a month from now.

And Carson will be starting "big kids school" (Kindergarten) in a few short weeks.

But the biggest change of all since my last post ... kindergarten will be in West Texas. Yes, we are moving. Rick took a new job out west and we are moving in just one more week. Considering our house sold in only two weeks, it is clear that this move was meant to be. Life has been hectic, to say the least, trying to get all the logistics of a cross-state move (and when it's Texas, that's a big move!) in order AND continue working full time AND taking care of two little kids. Yeah, I know ... cry me a river, my own little pity party. I can't wait until all of this is over and we can settle back in to normal life. But I will miss my house and my life in North Central Texas.

I had the cutest picture of the kids waving goodbye, but alas, the picture is on my other computer which is sitting on a Bekins moving truck right now.

I know I will always keep in touch with some of the friends I have made in our adoption journey ... all the wonderful people at Gladney, Rachel, Kathy, Carol ... we will never be completely out of touch. And I know I will see many of you again at another Gladney function. New friends await in the Midland GFA as well.

Blessings to you all!

Our Munchkins

These two never cease to amaze us. They are the very best of friends and every bit brother & sister. They squabble and fight over toys and who gets to watch what on TV, with the frequent "he's touching me" or "she's looking at me" thrown in for good measure just to make sure we are listening. Then the next minute they are playing and laughing and having the best time ever. They take very good care of each other and always have each other's back. For a while, Carson seemed to be fully in charge ... deciding what they were going to play, making all the rules (and of course changing them midstream to his benefit), and ordering Kali around. But she has come into her own and she is now quite comfortable throwing her own orders around. But he's still such a great big brother to her.

Funny story from Wal Mart ... I had both kids with me one day doing a little shopping and we stopped in the kids' clothing section. Kali was riding in the kids' seat on the cart while Carson was walking with me. We picked out a few things and proceeded to the food section where we ran into my mother. We stopped to talk a minute and I noticed a shirt in the cart that I had not put there. I picked it up and asked, "Where did this come from?" Kali smiled and said, "Me!". It was a pink shirt, the right size for her, and it said in big letters on the front FUTURE PRESIDENT. Don't ask me how she managed to snag this shirt as we were walking past the rack, and in the right size no less, but it was so prophetic! Now, we just have to get rid of that silly little law that says you have to be born in the USA to be President!

The Fatal Kiss!

Thank goodness it was just my normal over-reacting! Like I said, I actually didn't think about the possible bigotry until much later in the evening, so it wasn't my first reaction at all ... but I still had to ask. I had to know! The answer ...

The assistant director actually laughed when I asked her if Kali's skin was the "issue". She assured me that they have no tolerance at the preschool for such things and that if a parent had "issue" with Kali's color, that parent would not be welcome at the daycare. In fact, she said that many of the parents are quite fond of Kali and often talk to her when they drop off their kids. Apparently, this particular little boy who has the "issue" had been at another daycare prior to this one and some things happened. She could not tell me what things ... and honestly, I didn't want to know ... but the mom now tends to over-react herself over something as innocent as a kiss from an affectionate 3 year old. But hey ... depending on what the issue from the previous daycare is, I might be just as overprotective of my children.

Whew! Now I don't have to go and beat someone up ...

The Kali and Kuri Reunion!

We meet again!

We finally got to have the long-awaited reunion of the two good buddies from Addis Ababa! Of course, it didn't quite go as we had hoped. Kuri very much remembers Kali, but Kali wasn't quite so sure about Kuri ... after all, she's been here now for almost 10 months and little 3 year old minds just don't remember too much from being 2. But it was still a really nice reunion. Kuri was a little shy at first, but by the time lunch was over, she was laughing at things and having a good time. They did NOT want to stand next to each other for a picture, so we had to trick them and take the picture when they didn't notice. Of course, smart as Kuri is, she figured out I had taken a picture and was none too happy with me.

We can't wait to get together again with the Waltons. The next time should be much easier since the girls have now become reacquainted with each other.

On a side note, I think I may have just experienced my first bout of bigotry with Kali ... I think. I am going to have to dive into this a little further and report back tomorrow. I went to pick the kids up from daycare today. They were on the playground so I stopped there first to pick them up before going into the school to get their things. One of the teachers came up to me with a strange look on her face and asked me if I had been in the office yet. Kali was sitting off to the side of the playground with a little boy and another teacher was talking to them, so I just assumed she had gotten in trouble and I asked if that was it. The teacher tells me, "Well, no, not in trouble. But she (lowered voice) kissed one of her friends today on the lips. They'll tell you about it in the office because they have an incident report for you to sign." An incident report!! for a 3 year kissing another 3 year old!! The horrors! So we head into the school to get their things, and the assistant director pulls me into a side room and quietly tells me, in a very hushed voice, that Kali had kissed one of the other students, went and played, and then came back and kissed him again, all in the span of about two minutes. I guess my face must have said it all, because she quickly tried to explain to me that this little boy she kissed "has ... umm ... issues with this." What kind of issues?? They do go to a church-based preschool, but it's Methodist, for goodness sake ... not something super conservative where kissing is only allowed between two consenting married adults! I told her that I didn't understand why it was such a big deal ... she's only 3 years old after all. There was absolutely nothing sexual about it ... she kisses her brothers on the lips too. So she tries to tell me that it really isn't a big deal, but some of the parents make it into a bigger deal than it really is. Ok, I can kind of understand that. Parents who don't know that ALL kids bite each other around the age of two make a big deal out of that too when their child happens to be on the receiving end of a bite (even though their child is probably also doing a little biting of their own). I am still a bit flabbergasted by it all and she proceeds to ask me if I am mad. I'm not mad, just a little confused. Why would they make such a big deal over a 3 year old kissing another kid, and in such hushed tones???

So I am cooking dinner this evening still in a state of confusion by it all and it hits me ... is it because she is (gasp!) B-L-A-C-K? Is that the "issue" the assistant director spoke of? If so, it has to be an issue with the parent, not the child. "Some parents make a bigger deal out of it than it really is." And the hushed tones, pulling me into a side room so as not to be overheard by another parent ...

I WILL ask about this tomorrow and report back. I sure hope I am wrong about this ...

Reunited with Belay

Gladney just celebrated their 120th Anniversary and the festivities were great. The best part of the shindig was that we got to see ALL of the wonderful Gladney people who brought our sweet Kalkidan to our family ... Ryan and Abby, Scott and Monica, Mary, and the Great Belay (or is it Saint Belay?? inside joke). Even got to spend the evening chatting with Piper's mom, Rachel Elliott. So sorry that we didn't meet up with you guys again on Saturday, Rachel. Soccer interferred. And we missed the Kali/Kuri reunion ... I just knew that the Waltons would be catching up from jetlag. Drat and double drat!! But we'll have that reunion very soon.

A Letter to Ethiopia

Dear Children,

Your prayers have been answered!!! If all goes as planned, meet your new family.

The Wolfe Family

We know you will love being Wolfe cubs!

With all the love in Texas,
Rick, Becky, Landree, Channing, Jordan, Carson and Kali

Look what we got!

Such a beautiful surprise we received last week from our sweet Aschalew! Scott and Emily Lydick returned from Ethiopia just a few weeks ago and brought this beautiful oil painting for us from Aschalew. He had a friend paint this from a photo he had. If you look closely, you'll see the elephants in the bottom right corner ... we were at the Ft Worth Zoo.

This painting will definitely take a place of honor in our home once we have it framed! What a wonderful tribute from one of the kindest, sweetest young men we have ever met! And a very special thanks to Scott and Emily for bringing this home to us ... even when the airport officials made you take it off of it's frame.

On the home front, we have a comedy team on our hands. These two kids keep us in stitches. I know I keep saying that it is amazing how well Kali speaks English now, but it is true. People who now meet her would never know that English was not her first language and that she has only been immersed in English for 8 months. So, she has re-discovered Dora and Diego. The little girl who previously could not sit through 5 minutes of any other TV program or movie will now sit and watch Dora or Diego videos for hours ... that is, if we allowed it. It is the first thing she asks for when she wakes up in the morning, the first thing she asks for after school, and the last thing she asks about when she goes to sleep ..."Tomorrow, I can watch Dora?" She interacts with everything they say and ask and she can even count to 5 in Spanish now ... except for the 3 ... she jumps straight from dos to cuatro. And then tres pops in after cinco. But hey ... 3 languages now! Aschalew would be jealous ... he asks me to teach him more Spanish in every letter he sends.

Anyway, last night we took them to see a show and got into an interesting conversation in the car on the way home. We decided that we would all have a race today to see who was fastest, and Dad and Carson began a battle of words ...

Dad: "Hey Carson, my friends call me Lightning."
Carson: "Well, my friends call me Speedy the Racer."
Kali: "My friends call me Dora!"

What a character! Rick has decided he is going to handcuff Kali to the couch when she turns 16 and make her watch a marathon of Dora videos so she knows what we have been going through now!

Hair & Skin

I know that I, like many people adopting African or African American children, panicked at the very thought of caring for the hair and skin of these beautiful children. After considerable trial and error, and some great advice from other women, we have hit on some things that work for us. Thought I'd share what we have learned.

Hair: We wash Kali's hair only once a week with a normal tearfree baby shampoo. After washing, we put a good quality conditioner in her hair (we've been using Pantene for curl definition), comb it through, let it sit in her hair for a few minutes and then rinse. Those little curls just perk right up after this washing and her hair is sooooooo soft!! Throughout the rest of the week, I will get it wet every other day and spray a good leave-in conditioner in it before it dries. I have been using Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla. It's a little pricey, but it too leaves Kali's curls very soft ... and it smells really good too! And that's it. As for hair styles, her hair is still pretty short so we're not at the braiding stage yet. Most mornings it's a headband or a few barrettes. On weekends when we have more time, she may get puffs, but she really doesn't like it when I put puffs in. I think she prefers the natural, care-free afro!

Skin: Kali has very dry skin. We do give her a bath every night and use baby wash for cleaning. But we have to immediately lotion her up after her bath to keep her skin from getting too dry. I've run the gamet on trying to find the right lotion ... my personal favorites for myself have always been Lubriderm and Aveeno, but neither of those worked for Kali. In the mornings her skin would just be too dry. I finally hit on Eucerin Plus. This one works very well, but I have to warn you ... it is very greasy. Now I use Gold Bond Ultimate with Shea Butter. This one is not greasy at all and it keeps Kali's skin very soft and supple. I like this one the very best!

Face: This poor little thing has not been able to get over a cold and allergies for at least the past 3 weeks. Her nose has been running like a faucet, it seems like forever. Needless to say, with all of the nose wiping, the skin under her nose and around her mouth had become EXTREMELY dry, to the point of being flaky. I advise against putting any kind of regular hand or body lotion on your child's face ... it will make their face break out. So I hit the face products aisle at Wal Mart. Do you know how hard it is to find a good face lotion that isn't supposed to be geared toward fine lines and wrinkles? Don't think I need to worry about that with this little girl for quite some time. I tried Aveeno, I tried Neutrogena, I tried Oil of Olay, I tried the Wal Mart brand ... I even tried the good stuff, Estee Lauder. None of it seemed to work. So here's the funny part ... I remembered that Vitamin E is very good for your skin and for helping scars heal. Wouldn't you know it, it's also much less expensive than any face product ... and it worked! Just a drop applied to her skin once a day and after just a few days, the dryness and flaky skin was gone! Her nose is still running, but that's another issue altogether!

Just a few side notes ... Kali has a tendancy to get these small warts, called molluscum, on her face and neck. She had several on her eyelid and the edge of her lip when we first met her that she soon scratched off. Over the past 8 months, new ones developed on her chin and her neck. The pediatrician kept telling us these were nothing to worry about, and everything I read tells me that this is quite common in children and eventually goes away. But still, it drove me crazy to see these things, seemingly getting bigger every day, on her pretty little face. Thankfully, she did end up scratching them off on her face and now we only have one left on her neck. I asked Belay about these when we were in Ethiopia and he too said that it is very common ... and he suggested using Compound-W to get rid of them. On her face??? NOT!! I hope new ones don't develop, but at least I now know that when they go away, there is no discernible scar left after they heal. The other item is the ringworm ... another common little pest. Kali got this lovely fungus right in the middle of her forehead ... a week before picture day at the daycare too!! Lotrimin ... works wonders!! Even says it right on the label ... "for ringworm". Keep some in the medicine cabinet ... you just never know.

Happy hair and skin care!!

3 days of Kinfe kids ...

I don't know where to start. The Kinfe kids are smiling! They don't know why yet, but trust me ... they're smiling! I suppose I should start at the beginning ... sometimes not as much fun as starting at the end, but I'll let the suspense build ...

We have been thinking a lot lately about our dear teenagers in Ethiopia. We sent Christmas presents for them with a very nice family who was kind enough to take our heavy boxes with them in their suitcases. We haven't heard yet whether they were able to deliver the gifts ... hope that they weren't confiscated at the Addis Ababa airport! Those guards might look awfully silly wearing the pink and purple toe socks we sent for the girls!

Anyway, back to the story. I think about Aschalo and his living conditions at Kolfe Boys Home quite often. I remembered reading some great news about plans for Kolfe and the boys on Eileen Mestas' blog and decided to catch up on my overdue blog stalking (check out her two posts from January 8th). So on Wednesday, I sent Eileen an email asking some questions about Kolfe and, specifically, Aschalo. I was checking my email the next day to see if Eileen replied (she did ... thank you!), and there in my inbox is an email from a new friend of this past summer when the kids were with us, Melani. Melani mentions to me that her parents are in Addis now for some mission work and they will be checking in with the Kinfe kids and will let us know how they are doing. Thank you so much, Melani!

Ok, stick with me here. I'm getting to the really good stuff. Today, day three, I am at my work desk eating my lunch and typing a reply to Melani (I promise, my bosses ... I was on my lunch hour!) when my husband calls me. He just happened to take the afternoon off from work today and was home to receive a phone call from Scott Brown of Gladney. Scott gave Rick some fantastic news ... no, the kids have not been adopted yet, but they are now well on their way! The adoption expenses for Aschalo, Genet and Yesalemush are no longer an issue for the lucky family that will step forward to bring these children home!

Ever heard of David Nasser? We had not until this afternoon. Landree had ... we had dinner with her this evening and asked her if she had ever heard of him. She looked at us warily and said, "Yes ... why? I just ordered his book yesterday." Yesterday we did not know who these people are, but today David and Jennifer Nasser are the two most wonderful people on the face of this earth! What a gift they and the students of Liberty University have gathered for these kids! This is truly amazing! Sorry folks ... you're just gonna have to click on the link to get it all. I don't think I could do the story justice if I tried to repeat it myself. All of the details have not been worked out quite yet ... all of this happened only yesterday ... but the current plan is to pay all adoption expenses for these kids and possibly put some away for their education.

Anyone who ever has anything bad to say about the youth of America these days had better not say anything to me!

And now to finish the story. The mail came today and we received a beautiful letter from Genet and Yesalemush. The end of the letter ...

"We are so busy, we spend our time by study. Many children are finish their process and goes to U.S.A. we are very sad. Every day we pray to God to help us to get a family from Texas. We ask you again don't forget us to find a family to adopt us."

My dear children, you are NOT forgotten!!!

And for the non-Texans, I'll interpret ... "a family from U.S.A"

We know the day is just around the corner now when we will receive that next call from Scott telling us that the Kinfe kids are coming home! Anyone who knows me knows that I am not the most spiritual person they've ever met, but that doesn't mean I am not a believer. I believe in the goodness of people and I find myself believing with all of my heart that God has had his hand in this one. Three solid days of Kinfe kids on the mind and heart, and oh what a happy almost-ending!!

As the song says, "... the rest is still unwritten."