Hair & Skin

I know that I, like many people adopting African or African American children, panicked at the very thought of caring for the hair and skin of these beautiful children. After considerable trial and error, and some great advice from other women, we have hit on some things that work for us. Thought I'd share what we have learned.

Hair: We wash Kali's hair only once a week with a normal tearfree baby shampoo. After washing, we put a good quality conditioner in her hair (we've been using Pantene for curl definition), comb it through, let it sit in her hair for a few minutes and then rinse. Those little curls just perk right up after this washing and her hair is sooooooo soft!! Throughout the rest of the week, I will get it wet every other day and spray a good leave-in conditioner in it before it dries. I have been using Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla. It's a little pricey, but it too leaves Kali's curls very soft ... and it smells really good too! And that's it. As for hair styles, her hair is still pretty short so we're not at the braiding stage yet. Most mornings it's a headband or a few barrettes. On weekends when we have more time, she may get puffs, but she really doesn't like it when I put puffs in. I think she prefers the natural, care-free afro!

Skin: Kali has very dry skin. We do give her a bath every night and use baby wash for cleaning. But we have to immediately lotion her up after her bath to keep her skin from getting too dry. I've run the gamet on trying to find the right lotion ... my personal favorites for myself have always been Lubriderm and Aveeno, but neither of those worked for Kali. In the mornings her skin would just be too dry. I finally hit on Eucerin Plus. This one works very well, but I have to warn you ... it is very greasy. Now I use Gold Bond Ultimate with Shea Butter. This one is not greasy at all and it keeps Kali's skin very soft and supple. I like this one the very best!

Face: This poor little thing has not been able to get over a cold and allergies for at least the past 3 weeks. Her nose has been running like a faucet, it seems like forever. Needless to say, with all of the nose wiping, the skin under her nose and around her mouth had become EXTREMELY dry, to the point of being flaky. I advise against putting any kind of regular hand or body lotion on your child's face ... it will make their face break out. So I hit the face products aisle at Wal Mart. Do you know how hard it is to find a good face lotion that isn't supposed to be geared toward fine lines and wrinkles? Don't think I need to worry about that with this little girl for quite some time. I tried Aveeno, I tried Neutrogena, I tried Oil of Olay, I tried the Wal Mart brand ... I even tried the good stuff, Estee Lauder. None of it seemed to work. So here's the funny part ... I remembered that Vitamin E is very good for your skin and for helping scars heal. Wouldn't you know it, it's also much less expensive than any face product ... and it worked! Just a drop applied to her skin once a day and after just a few days, the dryness and flaky skin was gone! Her nose is still running, but that's another issue altogether!

Just a few side notes ... Kali has a tendancy to get these small warts, called molluscum, on her face and neck. She had several on her eyelid and the edge of her lip when we first met her that she soon scratched off. Over the past 8 months, new ones developed on her chin and her neck. The pediatrician kept telling us these were nothing to worry about, and everything I read tells me that this is quite common in children and eventually goes away. But still, it drove me crazy to see these things, seemingly getting bigger every day, on her pretty little face. Thankfully, she did end up scratching them off on her face and now we only have one left on her neck. I asked Belay about these when we were in Ethiopia and he too said that it is very common ... and he suggested using Compound-W to get rid of them. On her face??? NOT!! I hope new ones don't develop, but at least I now know that when they go away, there is no discernible scar left after they heal. The other item is the ringworm ... another common little pest. Kali got this lovely fungus right in the middle of her forehead ... a week before picture day at the daycare too!! Lotrimin ... works wonders!! Even says it right on the label ... "for ringworm". Keep some in the medicine cabinet ... you just never know.

Happy hair and skin care!!

3 days of Kinfe kids ...

I don't know where to start. The Kinfe kids are smiling! They don't know why yet, but trust me ... they're smiling! I suppose I should start at the beginning ... sometimes not as much fun as starting at the end, but I'll let the suspense build ...

We have been thinking a lot lately about our dear teenagers in Ethiopia. We sent Christmas presents for them with a very nice family who was kind enough to take our heavy boxes with them in their suitcases. We haven't heard yet whether they were able to deliver the gifts ... hope that they weren't confiscated at the Addis Ababa airport! Those guards might look awfully silly wearing the pink and purple toe socks we sent for the girls!

Anyway, back to the story. I think about Aschalo and his living conditions at Kolfe Boys Home quite often. I remembered reading some great news about plans for Kolfe and the boys on Eileen Mestas' blog and decided to catch up on my overdue blog stalking (check out her two posts from January 8th). So on Wednesday, I sent Eileen an email asking some questions about Kolfe and, specifically, Aschalo. I was checking my email the next day to see if Eileen replied (she did ... thank you!), and there in my inbox is an email from a new friend of this past summer when the kids were with us, Melani. Melani mentions to me that her parents are in Addis now for some mission work and they will be checking in with the Kinfe kids and will let us know how they are doing. Thank you so much, Melani!

Ok, stick with me here. I'm getting to the really good stuff. Today, day three, I am at my work desk eating my lunch and typing a reply to Melani (I promise, my bosses ... I was on my lunch hour!) when my husband calls me. He just happened to take the afternoon off from work today and was home to receive a phone call from Scott Brown of Gladney. Scott gave Rick some fantastic news ... no, the kids have not been adopted yet, but they are now well on their way! The adoption expenses for Aschalo, Genet and Yesalemush are no longer an issue for the lucky family that will step forward to bring these children home!

Ever heard of David Nasser? We had not until this afternoon. Landree had ... we had dinner with her this evening and asked her if she had ever heard of him. She looked at us warily and said, "Yes ... why? I just ordered his book yesterday." Yesterday we did not know who these people are, but today David and Jennifer Nasser are the two most wonderful people on the face of this earth! What a gift they and the students of Liberty University have gathered for these kids! This is truly amazing! Sorry folks ... you're just gonna have to click on the link to get it all. I don't think I could do the story justice if I tried to repeat it myself. All of the details have not been worked out quite yet ... all of this happened only yesterday ... but the current plan is to pay all adoption expenses for these kids and possibly put some away for their education.

Anyone who ever has anything bad to say about the youth of America these days had better not say anything to me!

And now to finish the story. The mail came today and we received a beautiful letter from Genet and Yesalemush. The end of the letter ...

"We are so busy, we spend our time by study. Many children are finish their process and goes to U.S.A. we are very sad. Every day we pray to God to help us to get a family from Texas. We ask you again don't forget us to find a family to adopt us."

My dear children, you are NOT forgotten!!!

And for the non-Texans, I'll interpret ... "a family from U.S.A"

We know the day is just around the corner now when we will receive that next call from Scott telling us that the Kinfe kids are coming home! Anyone who knows me knows that I am not the most spiritual person they've ever met, but that doesn't mean I am not a believer. I believe in the goodness of people and I find myself believing with all of my heart that God has had his hand in this one. Three solid days of Kinfe kids on the mind and heart, and oh what a happy almost-ending!!

As the song says, "... the rest is still unwritten."

Sharing Christmas

Making Christmas cookies is much more fun when you eat the flour too!

I see Mary and one of the Three Wisemen

Opening presents with Aunt Sandy at the Page Christmas




Are these Halloween costumes for next year? Cool bath towels! Thanks Aunt Sandy and Uncle Terry!

And not to be outdone, Landree gets into the act too!

The proverbial "kids table", Christmas Eve with the Kleins.

This bag ought to have LOTS of stuff in it since it's almost as big as me!

Wait! Carson still sees one more thing way down at the bottom of the bag!

Can you believe these two are twins? Cousins Merrick and Rowan.

These kids had more fun playing with the babys' toys than their own!

When I grow up I want to be a welder just like my brother, Channing!

Yeah, but Kali and Channing won't be the ONLY welders in the family!

Christmas morning with my two favorite guys ... Daddy and Monkey George!

It is so hard to believe that it has been 6 months already since Kali became part of our lives. I have started following some of the other Gladney Ethiopian blogs again and it's all coming back to me ... the joy of referral day; the excitement of traveling to Africa; the overwhelming anticipation waiting at the hotel for our daughter to be brought to us; the look of sheer terror and utter confusion on her face. Too many adjectives? How about the longing to be home once you have your child in your arms; the fear of not knowing what to do now that you have your child in your arms; the doubt and wondering if you've done the right thing; the dread of the long flight(s) home; the exhaustion once you are home; and then real life resumes. Except now there's an additional little person(s) in your life and now you have to learn about each other ... difficult, exciting, scary, rewarding, frustrating, and downright fun sometimes.

Being on the other side of the hill now, it's fun to look back and follow the blogs of the parents still climbing that hill ... and I mean that in the nicest of ways! We made it over the top and we're doin' great! That's not to say that it's all downhill from here ... we still have puberty, driving lessons, dating, and applying for college to get through!

I read an article in an adoption magazine some time ago that stuck with me. The author, the mom, seemed quite offended when people would notice her daughter of a different race and make comments, NICE comments, about her and completely ignore her other biological children. She wanted to scream back to these people, "what about these kids here ... chopped liver!?" I have to admit I've noticed that people pay much more attention to Kali than Carson and make comments about how cute she is ... but let's think about it for a minute. She does kind of stand out when we're all together. And she is beautiful, so I really can't blame them for saying so. If people notice this beautiful African flower in a lily white field, would I rather have them say something nice like "Oh how pretty she is!", or something nasty? No brainer! So, even though Carson too is a beautiful child, it doesn't bother me a bit when folks notice Kali and say something NICE about her!! As a matter of fact, in the 6 months that we've had Kali, we have not had one negative experience or comment from other people. Knock on wood ...

Not much of anything new to report on Kali. She is a normal little 3 year old girl ... she likes to wear dresses (especially the kind that swirl really big when she turns around in circles), she likes to mimic her brother, she changes her mind every other day about what she likes and dislikes, she likes to whine when she doesn't get her way, she wants to do EVERYTHING herself, and she wants to help you do everything too. Listening to her talk, nobody would ever believe that she didn't speak a word of English 6 short months ago ... she is a chatterbox deluxe! The most shocking thing that has happened ... she loves one of the dogs! Phoebe, our yellow lab, is her best buddy now. Every day before we leave for school, she leans down and gives Phoebe a hug and kiss. 6 months ago she was convinced that Phoebe was going to eat her! She's still afraid of every other dog she meets, from the biggest doofus dogs to the smallest puppies. One of these days she'll figure it all out and she'll probably grow up to be a veterinarian ... or a ballroom dancer so she can have all those cool swirly dresses!

It's a small world after all ...

Remember this picture? This is one that our Gladney caseworker, Mary, sent to us after visiting Addis and giving Kali our gift. The little girl on the right is Kali's best friend, Kuri. We were told that Kali was so quiet and shy and Kuri was the only one in the orphanage Kali would talk to. Those Gladney people ... I think God must have a direct telephone line straight to their doors. Kuri is being adopted by a family who lives only about 40 miles away from us!!! Check out the Walton's new blog to follow their journey http://onemorewalton.blogspot.com/

Merry Christmas to all!

Thanksgiving snow in North Texas!!

Kali and "Aunt" Cathy catching snowflakes

What a shocker! Sitting around the living room watching football after the turkey gorge, and someone yells, "It's snowing!" Kali got to experience snow for the first time and she loved it. No snowman yet ... it was a wet snow that didn't stick, but she and Carson were able to get a few little snowballs out of the accumulation on the cars. And Jordan thought he had to go to Wisconsin to see some snow for Thanksgiving!

This is Kali's new hair. I know, I know ... it doesn't look much different than before. We had about 1/2 of the length taken off, so no more Afro Puffs for a while. This short hair is so much easier to deal with. Just wet it down in the mornings, spray a little leave-in conditioner, pick out and go! Maybe that's why I keep mine short too ... add a blow dryer and take away the pick, though.

Every time we both look at Kali, we can't help but think of the difference between the little girl we brought home and the little girl we have now. Every day she adds more to her vocabulary and she is such a chatterbox ... fits right into my side of the family! She smiles and laughs all the time and those beautiful little eyes just sparkle. We have learned how to divert her almost-tantrums now ... distraction works wonders! All I have to do is get her talking about something else and she forgets all about what made her upset in the first place. It takes a lot of patience (and I will admit that this is something I run short of more often than I would like) and trial-and-error to find out what works. I hope we have hit on something now that will work for quite a long time. Of course, we still have the drama ... oh, the drama! One would think her leg was being cut off when she gets the slightest little booboo! And when she gets mad at us, she starts crying for anyone, and I mean ANYONE, who is not in the immediate area. It was her Papa, it was her sister Landree, and more recently it was her teacher, Alicia! The one that had us laughing the hardest was when she was crying for her little 3 year old friend from daycare, Lily!

But the best part of having Kali ... when she grabs my face and says "I love you, Mommy" just right out of the blue.

We are both completely in love with our daughter! Because of this, I can now say what I am about to say and be comfortable with it. I have always tried to be honest in this blog, so here goes.

I was very disappointed in myself when it was not love at first sight with Kali. I was even more disappointed when the love did not seem to come for some time. I didn't want to talk about it for a while ... I thought there was something wrong with me, or that maybe we had jumped into adoption too soon. I certainly didn't want to write about it in my blog ... what would people think of me? "What a witch, not loving that precious little girl!" Don't get me wrong ... I always wanted to take care of her and protect her - that maternal thing - but I just wasn't prepared for the lack of affection that I had for this child. I know we have all had the fantasies of seeing our children for the first time and having them immediatey love us and us love them. Even though I knew this was just a fantasy, I couldn't help but wonder if it still couldn't happen that way ... but it didn't. Maybe it was having biological children of my own already, whom I absolutely adore, and then adopting; maybe it was adopting a toddler rather than an infant; or maybe it was neither of these and it was just me.

But then I did start talking about it to friends and family, and I found out that maybe I wasn't so weird after all. Maybe it was more normal than I thought not to have that instant love with this new little person in my life. And then it happened. I can't say exactly when, but sometime in the past 6 months, I fell in love with my daughter! I am pretty sure it happened sooner for Rick, and I must say that I am a little envious of that. Now I find myself doing the same things to her that I do to Carson ... stroking her hair or cheek, rubbing her back when she is sitting next to me, kissing her for no reason at all. When I tell her that I love her, it comes straight from my heart and I know that I mean every breath of those 3 words! So, for those of you who may be experiencing this same situation, you're not weird. Just be patient ... it happens. For those of you who bonded instantly and felt that love from the moment you first laid eyes on your sweet children, be thankful for that blessing!

So on this first Thanksgiving with our new daughter and our newly formed family of seven, I am most thankful for the mysterious and wonderful way that love works its miracles in our hearts!

Happy Thanksgiving from the Page Family!

I hear they all do it ...

What is it with kids and scissors and their hair? I managed to raise one who never cut his own hair ... that is, not until he was 18 and decided to use the dog clippers to shave his head ... does that count? I remember when my 18 year old neice was small and decided she didn't want bangs anymore ... clip ... that's one way to get rid of them! So I'm warning all of you parents of young children ... hide ALL the scissors, even the dull ones that you think couldn't cut water ... they probably still work on hair!

In addition to cutting his own hair ... big chunk, right in the middle above his forehead (if you look closely at the picture, you can kind of see the semi-bald spot) ... Carson decided it would be fun to cut Kali's hair too. Let's put it this way ... she no longer has a widow's peak! I had to cut Carson's hair extra short to try to blend his work into the rest (I still think Rick secretly put Carson up to this just so I would be forced to give him the shaved head 1950's farmboy look he so wants our son to have!), but there was no way I was going to attempt to tackle those curls of Kali's. So today she got her first haircut ... well, her first haircut with us. After 11 months of growing hair (her head was shaved sometime around January of this year at the orphanage) and 5 months of me longing for it to grow faster so we could start braiding it, we're back to tight little curls. I have to admit, though, it looks really cute short. She looks so chic! No picture yet ... maybe tomorrow.

And we no longer own a pair of scissors ... maybe I should hide the weedeater and hedge clippers in the garage too ...

Happy Halloween!!

The Queen and King of Hearts!