Birthday!!

And the decision is .... August 22! Yes, after some discussion (thanks to my commenters who brought up a very good point that we had not considered before), we are going with the August birthday for Kali.

We were actually given two different birthdates ... 11/10/2004 (most likely the date she entered the orphanage with the pediatrician assigned birth year) and 08/22/2005 (the birthdate given by her mother during a later interview, but obviously the birth year is way wrong!). We had been using the November birthdate from the time we accepted Kali's referral. But the August birthdate is the one that is shown on her Ethiopian birth certificate and passport. We will change the birth year, of course, since she is so obviously not about to turn 2!!

So when we follow through with the re-adoption, we will officially give her a birth date of August 22, 2004.

My dear nephew Soren, I sure hope you don't mind sharing your birthdays with your new cousin!

This just in ...

The daycare director asked me yesterday how I would feel about Kali moving up to the 3 year old room! It is that time of year when they move the kids up into new rooms and they had to make a decision about who to move up out of the 2 year old room. Out of all those kids (only about 8, but still ...), they chose Kali because they think she is ready! Even though English is not her first language, she already speaks English better than some of the other kids her own age ... they can actually understand what she is saying. They tell me that she is really learning well, that every day they can see a difference from the day before.

We do think she is a lot closer to 3 years old than we originally anticipated. We considered changing her birthday to something closer to now after watching her over the past month ... after all, a 2 year/5 month old is still further behind developmentally than a 2 year/11 month old, even though they are both technically 2 years old. But 10 years from now, will it really matter whether she turns 13 in August or in November?

But we did say this girl is smart, didn't we??

Transition to daycare

Kali started daycare her 3rd week home with us. The original plan was for me to stay home with her for a month, but after we decided to host our three teenagers, the plan had to change. That was our first week with Aschalo, Genet and Yesalemush and it would have been much too difficult to try to entertain them AND have two toddlers in tow.

Day 1 - Kali waltzed into her new room at daycare without a care in the world. After all, she had been coming with me to drop off Carson, so what would be different this time? When it became apparent that I was going to be leaving her, that worried look appeared on her face. When the time came for me to actually leave, she wrapped both arms around my neck very tightly and pressed her open, screaming mouth to my cheek like she was trying to suck herself to me. It was heart-wrenching, to say the least! We kept waiting for that ominous phone call from the daycare asking us to come and pick her up, but luckily, this IS a daycare ... they are quite accustomed to children who don't want their mommies to leave. When I picked her up, she was a happy little camper having fun with the other kids and they told me that she had stopped crying before I even left the parking lot.

Day 2 - Kali again went happily into her room, unaware that this was day 2 of daycare. We had the same experience as day 1, but without the sucking action on my cheek. Again, happy as can be when I picked her up.

Day 3 - This time, she wasn't quite so happy about going to school. She recognized the building when we pulled up and started shaking her head 'no'. But today saw a great improvement ... she cried when I was handing her over to the teacher, but she went to the teacher willingly!

(No day 4 or 5 this week ... July 4th fell in the middle of the week and we kept both kids out on Friday to go to the soccer tournament as a family.)

Week 2 - Amazing! Kali still gets the pouty look on her face when taking her to her room ... a few wimpers here and there, but mostly she goes in and immediately begins to play.

Week 3 - Incredible! Kali has absolutely no problem going to daycare now. She heads on into her room and gives me a hug and kiss before I leave. She especially likes the mornings when we get there and the kids have not yet been broken off into their respective rooms. On these mornings, she gets to sit with Carson and watch a few minutes of a cartoon with him.

The teachers and the director keep telling us what a little love she is (like we don't already know that!), that she has not had any trouble adjusting at all. She plays with the kids, she eats her lunch, and she takes her nap just like the other kids in her class. And picking her up in the evenings now is the funniest ... she has a habit of hanging out and playing near the window when she sees that it is time for the mommies and daddies to pick up their kids. She plays, but always with an eye out that window. When she sees whichever of us is picking her up, she lets out this loud scream and runs into our arms, almost as if to say, "I can't believe it ... you came for me again!" But if we get her brother from his class first and he comes in with us, well, he is the recipient of that hug!

Back to our new family dynamic!

She's not really hurt ... band aid on the forehead was a placebo!

Who would guess that this little girl has only been in the US with us for a little over a month! Kali understands 90% of what we say to her in English and she repeats things back to us like a little parrot. She has a vocabulary now of the following ... Mommy, Daddy, Carson, Landree, Watch me, Look at me, What you doin'?, Have go potty, Apple juice please, I'm sorry, thank you, I'm finished, and Bless you ... and she understands every bit of what she is saying. Oh yes, how could I forget her favorite word ... EAT!!

Kali has really come around to our way of life. She completely understands the concept of "if you want more of that to eat, you have to eat 2 bites of this first" and "if you want to do this, you have to do that first". The tantrums are much fewer now ... and I mean MUCH fewer. She is every bit the normal two year old (maybe three?) and we have to plan an extra 10-15 minutes for every task because she wants to do everything herself. She definitely has her own opinions about things ... you should see us trying to pick out what she is going to wear that day! Heaven help me if I pick out something she does not want to wear! Just like a girl, right?

Carson and Kali are so sweet to each other too. They are truly brother and sister, complete with arguments about who gets to play with toy #1 and "she got more than I did"! I think the next phrase we will make sure Kali understands is "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit" because right now, everything has to be completely equal. But they do take care of each other too. If Carson gets hurt, Kali is there immediately throwing her arms around his neck and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Today, Carson refused to do anything fun until Kali woke up from her nap. I asked him if he wanted to go swimming ... "ok, but I want Kali to come too." I asked him if he wanted to help me plant flowers ... "yes, but when Kali wakes up so she can help too". (Yes, planting flowers is fun for him, even in 95 degree heat!)

And it's only been a month ....

Teenager update

Our kids are all safely back in Addis Ababa now, though we hope that it won't be for long. Here are some of my favorite pictures of each of these 3 wonderful kids.

Aschal0

Yesalemush

Genet with Carson

What more can I tell you about each of them? Our last day together was bittersweet. We took the kids bowling and, as expected, had a great time. After that, we headed to the hotel to meet up with the rest of the Bright Futures gang, had a wonderful Ethiopian meal prepared by the Kidmia folks from Arlington, and then it was time to say our good-byes. Yesalemush could not stop crying. Aschalo hugged us all and then turned his back to us, but kept hold of my hand the whole time his back was turned. Genet just hugged over and over again. It was heart wrenching! Our car felt strangely empty all the way home with only two kids in it. But we all knew from the beginning that this had to be. Now it is time to find them a permanent home.

So, here is a little more of the low-down on each of them.

• Aschalo is very quiet, shy and reserved. He really opens up to you when he gets to know you better. As I mentioned before, he is extremely smart and studies a lot. He told me that at home, he often wakes up in the middle of the night to study because that is when things are quiet and he can concentrate. Once he gets to know you, he is very open about telling you when he doesn't understand you. And if you are not sure he understands and keep trying to say things a different way, he'll tell you, "I understand, I understand". Maybe that was just his way of getting me to shut up?? Of all of them, Aschalo was the most open to trying new foods, and he ended up developing a liking for Mexican food! He is such a sweet, gentle young man. He was quite fond of both Carson and Kali and would often pick them up to carry them. While we were at the zoo, Carson fell and Aschalo was the first one to him to pick him up and console him. He will make a great father someday.

• Genet too is a little more on the shy, quiet side. Like her brother, she is also quite studious. After watching all of them for the two weeks, it appeared that Genet and Aschalo had the closer relationship of the three kids. More than likely it is because of their desire to learn and study. Genet loved our little kids. She would always play with them and be silly with them. She wants to be a pilot when she gets out of school, if that tells you anything about this girl's ambitions! She loves to play volleyball and basketball, and it was very easy to entice her into a game of one or the other in the yard. Genet would always try to be a part of the conversations, even if she didn't understand what was being said. She pays attention to everything and you can see it soaking in.

• Yesalemush, Yesalemush ... our little artist. I can never remember which side of the brain is for the arts and which side is for the math and science, but whichever side the other two kids have, Yesalemush has the opposite. She has the most beautiful smile, which certainly goes with her beautiful face. Even though she knows the least amount of English, it doesn't stop her from trying to communicate with you, although it is normally in Amharic. One evening, Aschalo was telling me that Yesalemush does not like to learn, and I had to laugh and tell him that I had already figured that out. She is the "girly" girl ... loves to dress up and wear new clothes, play with fingernail polish, play with her hair, and she loves to be silly. I took them all to the book store and bought both girls some old novels (Nancy Drew, Little House on the Prairie type) and told them that reading would help them with their English. Yeslamush took the books grudgingly, but she had a lot more fun picking out VHS videos to take home ... she picked out a movie with Jason Priestly on the cover, and I don't think she picked it out because of the movie!

One would think that the language barrier would have been our biggest hurdle, but it turned out to be food. After trying many different things, especially the normal teenager fare, turns out that they all love fried chicken, fried fish, biscuits with honey for breakfast, and the Mexican food was growing on them. They do NOT like pancakes or waffles (thanks, Belay!), but turns out my dogs do! The girls each had half a waffle on their plates when I went to the kitchen for approximately 1 minute. I returned from the kitchen to 2 very clean plates, 2 smiling dogs, and 2 girls trying to pretend that they had eaten the waffles. Considering that it took them about 10 minutes to eat the first half of their waffles, I knew what had happened. And now we can't get the dogs to stop hanging out underneath the table while we eat!

Our deepest thanks to all of you out there who have added our blog to yours with regards to these kids! With everyone's help, we WILL find them a home.

A new beginning?????

Last night during dinner, I was telling Aschalo, Genet & Yesalemush once again that we are working hard to find them a family. Carson said, "But we are a family. You don't have to find someone else because we are a family." These kids will always be part of our lives, no matter where they may live or who becomes their new family! We are tied to them forever! Carson has been very sad today, knowing that this is our last day with the kids. He told me again last night that he does not want them to go. When I told him that they had to go, he asked me if they will be coming back. We pray that one of you out there, reading this blog, will be bringing these kids home to America to begin their new lives!!

What else can I say about them? Saying "they are great" pales in comparison to our two weeks with them. They are so happy, vivacious, loving, and generous. We had such a good time last night looking at and printing all the pictures from the last two weeks. Some of our best laughs have come from trying to understand each other. Yesalemush just rambles to me in Amharic like I am supposed to know what she is saying, and I do the same to her in English. Then we laugh about it. Last night, she kept trying to ask me something and Aschalo was in the other room yelling something out in Amharic and laughing. He comes in the room and says, "Mommy, mommy ... listen to me. Don't listen to her. She is ..." I think he was going for "silly" but I interjected with "crazy" and they all burst into laughter. You know the hand signal for crazy ... point at your head and circle your finger round and round? Well, apparently that hand gesture is universal!

We are so blessed to have had these kids in our lives for these two very short weeks. They were a delight and we will miss them dearly. Aschalo is 16 years old already and will be 17 in December. Even though Ethiopia is a wonderful country and loves their children, the life he will go back to there, living in the boys orphanage, makes me very sad. We will pray every night that there is a family here in America or in Europe who wants to make these three precious kids part of their family. Will it be you?

Life in America for All!

My great grandparents on my mother's side came to this country from Poland many years ago to make better lives for themselves and their children. It worked! My grandparents had great lives and five terrific kids. From those came 22 grandkids (of which I am one), and from there came 32 (or is it now 33? I lost track) great grandkids. Both of my grandparents have now passed away, but I know that they were proud of their family. We are so blessed by their parents' decision to pursue a life in this wonderful country! Kudos to my cousin Hilary for planning this year's 4th biennial Frank & Mary Mlynarczyk Family reunion in Brown County, Indiana! She went through a lot of hard work to bring our family together, and I am truly sorry that we are not able to attend this year. We pray that our time with our new Ethiopian "family" will bring these same types of results for these kids ... a new life in this country of opportunity and the chance to create a legacy!

Genet enjoying a cool Texas evening on the lake, about to experience her first S'more (she didn't like it, but she ate the chocolate!)

Yesalemush loves the water!

Aschalo thinking "Ah, this is the life!"

Carson and Kali

Our two weeks with our kids from Ethiopia have almost come to an end, and what a two weeks it has been! Last weekend, we attended the Ethiopian Sports Federation of North America's soccer tournament in Garland (Rachel, I am so sorry to hear about your "Vacation" type adventures on your way home, but you will look back some day and laugh!!). The clouds parted and it was a gloriously sunny, albeit HOT day! The kids thoroughly enjoyed the event and seeing some of their friends who are also with host families. We left the tournament and headed for Rick's sister's lakehouse on Cedar Creek Lake, and the kids were so animated and talkative all the way there. And what a fun time we had on Cedar Creek Lake! In addition to meeting Rick's wonderful family (you guys are the best - Sandra, Terry, Kaci, Bill & Sandy!!), they got to experience boat rides, swimming (or floating, depending on how you want to look at it) in the lake, jet ski rides, and good old Texas brisket! Genet stayed up late enough with us on Saturday evening to enjoy a campfire ... S'mores and fireworks across the lake included! We barely got Aschalo out of the lake, he loved it so much. Yes, he was quite "pruney" when he finally gave up the water.

On Sunday we headed back to Dallas to my sister's house where they met the Bruiser Brothers (my one year old twin nephews who already look like linebackers!) and their older almost-3 year old brother. We spent the day at the Arboretum and it was so nice ... there were very few people there and we had the place almost to ourselves. We took a tour of one of the homes on the property and the docent gave us the history of the house and the owners. Aschalo listened intently and would ask me a question every now and then. When we left the house, I asked him if he understood most of what she said and he said yes. His favorite room in the house was the library! He walked in and you could see the twinkle in his eye! Thanks for a great day, Jenny and Mark!

Monday was a quiet day spent at home in the morning and then seeing the movie "Evan Almighty" in the afternoon. Tuesday was the best! I took all 3 to Six Flags and they had the time of their lives. Unfortunately, I lost the SD chip from my camera in WalMart the evening before when I went in to order photos for the kids, so I did not have my camera with me. But if you could only see the photo taken while we were on the Texas Giant (yes, we bought the photo) ... you see smile, smile, smile, total terror! The smiling faces were mine, Aschalo, Genet and the terrorized one was Yesalemush. But what a trooper! Even though that roller coaster left her a bit queezy, she still wanted to go on every other ride with us. And it was Yesalemush herself who decided she wanted to ride on the Superman Tower of Power! I waited with the kids until we got to the front of the line, and then I quickly bowed out. I watched as they shot up into the air on the ride and could hear Yesalemush scream! Despite her screams of terror, she came down with the biggest smile on her face. She took my hand and pressed it to her heart and it was beating faster than Superman himself can fly. What a fantastic day!

Wednesday saw us load up in the car once more. These poor kids ... living 30 minutes from the nearest ANYTHING, I can only imagine what they are thinking every time we ask them if they are ready to go ... "Oh no, grab a book, it's going to be another long journey!" We drove to Denton to visit my other sister and her friends. Aschalo and Genet got to go fishing and both caught fairly sizeable fish. Thanks so very much to our gracious hosts, my sister Beth and her friends Jim and Maureen. Again, no photos from my camera, but I hope that Maureen will pass on to us the ones she took. Another long and great day followed by another long car ride home! We all slept very well last night.

Only a few more days and then Aschalo, Genet and Yesalemush head home to Ethiopia. They have told us more than once that they do not want to go home. Aschalo told me last night on the drive home that he loves Ethiopia, but he wants to leave and live in the U.S. The opportunities for all of them to further their education are boundless here! It is such a shame that we take these opportunities for granted. Oprah got it right when she opened her school in Africa where education is valued so highly. To many of our American kids, school is just another thing they have to endure until they can get out. Cell phones, video games, and new cars on their 16th birthdays are all things our kids think are their RIGHT! What about a good home, a loving family, and an education? Luxuries to some, taken for granted by others.

Dear Readers: Please pass this message on to everyone you know ... HELP US FIND A LOVING FAMILY AND HOME FOR THESE THREE WONDERFUL KIDS!!

Update to the "angie mommy" post

Having Genet here with us, I found out what Kali was REALLY calling me during those first days here at home ... she wasn't calling me "angie", she was saying "anchi". Genet heard her say this yesterday and told me she was saying "you". So, when Kali first came into our family, she was running through the house yelling "hey you!" to me! I think I am disappointed ... I preferred thinking that it was a sweet little nickname she had come up with for me!!

Our Visiting Teenagers

We understand why Ryan was so passionate about Aschalo, Genet, and Yesalemush! These are great kids!

We picked up our visitors from the Gladney Center on Sunday evening. As one can imagine, they were wiped out from the long trip. They all took showers when we returned home and went to bed, sleeping until late into the next morning. On Monday we took them shopping for clothes, shoes, and swim suits and had a great time. Kali was a little stand off-ish with them at first, as we expected. She is still pretty shy around new people and it takes a while for her to warm up to someone new. Carson, on the other hand, had no problem warming up to them. The first thing he asked when he woke up Monday morning was "Are the girls up yet?"

On Tuesday, Rick and Landree took them to the Museum of Science in Fort Worth, the planetarium, and the IMAX theater. They really liked the IMAX. Tuesday evening saw a rousing game of Monopoly Jr. between Genet, Yesalemush and Carson (I was the bank). Aschalo watched and caught on to the game instantly, explaining it to the two girls in Amharic. Mind you, this was Monopoly JR., not regular Monopoly ... the game went on for two hours! Genet was the first to go bankrupt and be out of the game, and it appeared that Carson had the game well in hand. We eventually had to take him to his bath, and so Genet jumped in and took his place in the game. Only when Carson came in to tell the girls goodnight did the game finally come to an end. No winner ... it was a draw!

Aschalo is very good with his English. As with most people who learn a foreign language, he understands more English than he speaks, though he speaks quite well. I told them that July 4th was a holiday and Aschalo asked me what kind of holiday. I explained to him that it was a celebration of our independence from England and he understood right away. He is an extemely bright young man who loves to read and study. It would be a complete loss to this world if Aschalo was not able to continue with an education, either in Ethiopia or here in America. He wants to be a chemist later in life. Rick continues to speak to Aschalo in his normal Texas twang and at his normal cadence. I told him to speak slower, but Aschalo and Rick seem to be able to communicate quite nicely without me trying to mess things up. Maybe I am being too patronizing by trying to speak slower and use words that I think they will understand more?

Genet is always smiling! She too is very bright (she loves math and bought a book on calculus at the bookstore) and will try very hard to communicate in English without having to rely on her brother to translate. I often find Genet thumbing through her very worn Amharic/English dictionary. They are all on the smaller side in terms of physical stature, but Genet is such a skinny little thing that we had to shop for her in the little girls department. She is so cute in her swimsuit! She actually picked out a bikini, which threw me for a loop. I thought for sure that both girls would pick out more modest one piece suits. I asked her if she was sure on the bikini and she was ... until yesterday when it came time to put it on to go to the pool. She came out of the bedroom with a top on over it and told me "I don't like my bikini." I told her that it was ok for her to swim with her shirt over it if she was uncomfortable. I even asked Aschalo to explain this to her when we got to the pool. I am not sure what he actually said to her in Amharic, but she whipped off that shirt and had no problem after that swimming in her new bikini. They all had a great time in the pool.

Yesalemush is the artist of the family. She loves art and dancing and is very affectionate. She is the one who is always holding my hand and wanting to give us hugs and kisses. She is the youngest of their family. Yesalemush had the best time shopping, taking one thing after another off the rack. She is the youngest of the family and speaks the least amount of English, but she knows the word "me" very well. Maybe coming from that position of "last child"?? We all know that the youngest is always the most spoiled! When we were shopping, she would pick something out and say "me" over and over. We were all walking into a new store and she asked the question "me?". I laughed and said, "Me me me... it's all about Yesalemush". I turned around to see Aschalo doubled over in laughter and saying, "Yes, true!" But really, she is a very sweet girl. She always wants to help me in the house with the dishes, vacuuming, anything. She and Genet are always the first to jump up from the dinner table to start clearing the dishes. We keep trying to tell them that they are on vacation and don't have to do this. But they want to feel helpful, so we finally gave in and let them help. As long as they know that they are not here to work, I think we're ok.

We had a good time on the 4th, going to the town square for all of the festivities including our small town parade. I keep my Amharic phrase book handy all the time, as there are a few words that Aschalo does not understand, like "parade". It certainly wasn't the Tournament of Roses Parade (which I WILL attend one day!), but it was nice. We had intended to take them to the fireworks last night, but they were all three in bed asleep by 8:00 pm! Maybe they are still on Ethiopian time.

Our abnormally wet Texas summer may end up putting a damper on many of the activities we had planned for our new friends. On Friday we will attend the Ethiopian Day festivities at the ESFNA (Ethiopian Sports Federation of North America) Soccer Tournament in Garland, and then it is off to Rick's sister's lake house for the weekend. If the weather cooperates, we will all be enjoying boating activities and more swimming!

About to have a house full!

All is ready in the house for the arrival of our three new teenagers! My family had foreign exchange students when I was a kid, and this is pretty much the same thing except that they stay for a much shorter period of time and won't be attending school. We're a little apprehensive about communication, although we've met all three kids already and they do speak English a whole lot better than we speak Amharic.

The only real concern we have right now is how discipline is handled in the Ethiopian orphanages ... we forgot to ask! Not that we think we will have to discipline these kids ... not at all! We're worried about what they will think when they see us discipline Kali. The good thing is that Carson gets disciplined in the same manner, though not as often since he is now older and pretty much out of the tantrum stage. Time-out is our preferred method and it does seem to work quite well. The number of tantrums hasn't diminished, but the length and severity have definitely taken a turn for the better. Kali has learned that she doesn't get her way when she goes to time-out and we ignore her screams. However, the spitting ... this one is something that neither of us can tolerate at all. Kali spit at me yesterday and she just spit at Rick today right before naptime. I will say right now that neither of us is opposed to spanking. I am sure this will get some comments, but we revealed this in our home study and Gladney still approved us. Anyway, the spankings are reserved for the most serious offenses and when it is extemely important to impress upon the kids the seriousness of said offense. Time-out is what we use the most often. But the spitting gets the spank. Most of the time, she is being put into time-out anyway for something when she gets mad enough to spit at us. I am not sure she understands a time-out on top of a time-out for the spitting, especially with the language barrier.

So, the point of all of this is that I hope these kids don't go home to Ethiopia thinking that we are terrible people and that we are so mean to our kids!