The Faces of Kali

The pouty look, all the rage this season!

It must seem to those reading that I zoom in on Kali's "dark side" more than I should. I know it sometimes seems that way to me too. But as I was painting this morning (redecorating the bigger bedroom to move both kids into), it suddenly hit me so clearly!

Yes, I read all the books about adoption, specifically adoption of toddlers. But books are just not the same as living it. I thought I was absorbing what I read, but apparently not. I know I've been too impatient with Kali at times, expecting her to act just like her brother does (or did when he was her age), but I keep forgetting one HUGE fact ... she has not been with us from birth. I know that sounds simplistic, but it so easy to forget that the kids who have been with you from the time they were born or shortly thereafter have had several years of YOUR teaching and YOUR way of doing things. Kali has been with us for 6 weeks ... ONLY 6 weeks. It is utterly ridiculous of us to expect her to behave any other way than how she does ... and yet, it is so easy to forget all of that.


I was speaking to someone I met a few weeks ago who has a 7 year old daughter. This woman's daughter was also adopted as a toddler. As this woman and I were talking, I was describing these "mad" things that Kali does ... the shooting-a-death-ray-through-your-face stare, the little one shoulder shrug, the I-hate-you-and-I'm-gonna-let-the-whole-neighborhood-know scream (and I don't mean crying, I mean SCREAM) ... this woman looked at me and told me that I had just described her daughter shortly after she had adopted her. Her daughter is a blonde haired, blue eyed little girl adopted domestically. Those traits that I thought were uniquely part of Kali's heritage, turns out they are just part of adoption.

It takes me a while, folks. This conversation was probably three weeks ago. So anyway, my epiphone while I was painting ... all of these "mad" traits are saying "Hey, I've already been dumped by one big person. I don't give a flying flip who you say you are ... you're gonna have to earn my love and respect and trust. Now let's see what you're gonna do with this!" Yes, I read this in one of those many books, but somehow it escaped me once we had Kali as part of our family.

The contented look, coming to a home near you soon!

We couldn't be happier or more thankful in our decision to adopt this beautiful little girl. She makes us laugh and smile all of the time. The other day, we had a little argument over a bean bag lizard. Kali kept calling it a "flot". I told her it was a lizard several times, even repeating it slowly so she could repeat me. Every time I said "liz -zard" slowly, she would look at me and just as slowly say "flo-ot". Who is the teacher here?! It hit me several hours later ... she was calling it a FROG! Told you it takes me a while! The "animal" sound she makes when you ask her what a certain animal says is hilarious ... its "waargh" (think loud growl!). Problem is, she thinks EVERY animal makes this sound other than a dog, a cat, and a flot .. oops, frog. She knows their sounds, but even a bunny goes "waargh" according to Kali. Every time she washes her hands, she holds up her soapy hands like paws with claws and yells "waargh" at you like a bear. These are the kinds of things that keep us in stitches with this kiddo.

Her giggle is the best sound in the world. There is something about it that just makes you want to laugh too. She is such a snuggle bug too ... when she wakes up, she wants you to hold her and she throws both arms around your neck, puts her head on your shoulder, and is perfectly content for several minutes. She mimics everything her brother does, even down to the goofy faces he likes to make. Right now, he loves it. I'm sure that some day, it will annoy the heck out of him and he'll be begging me to make her stop.

Kali can sing her ABC's all the way through and loves for you to sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" with her. Her favorite thing to say now is "Mommy, what you doin'?" And Carson is really Tahson!

So, the point is this ... even though Kali ends up in time-out at least 3-4 times a day (not what we were used to with Carson), that is only about 15-20 minutes out of the whole day. These minutes can be intense, but the rest of the day of sweetness and sunshine make up for all of it!!! The giggle I am hearing right now as she plays with her daddy ... it makes me smile and wish that everyone else could hear it too!